Their Little Princess

Chapter Forty-Three

We go back to school the next day. 

And when 2nd semester Economy puts me, Logan and Rowan in the same class, Logan turns to look at me. "I was hoping I'd have a free period during your lunch time so you don't have to sit by yourself," He says.

"It's fine, I can just sit with my brother's friends" I ask.

"I got Art History during your lunch."

Rowan turns toward us in her seat, "I got Arts and Humanities."

"Nobody asked you, Rowan," Logan says.

She scowls, "Oh maybe I missed the part where Madison asked you, then," She says.

"It's fine," I say, just trying to appease the situation. 

"How was the winter dance?" I ask them as we walk to lunch after class.

"It was dumb," Logan tries to convince me, knowing how much I wanted to go, "Plus, it's not even winter yet, so the premise doesn't make sense anyway."

"It was so awesome," Rowan says with a grin, "I asked Paige to the dance, it was so fun." 

"She went with you? She must've been desperate," Logan teases, eliciting an eyeroll from Rowan, "It really wasn't all that, Maddie," He says, "You didn't miss much."

"Okay," I say, unconvinced. I never got to have a normal school social life because of mom and Daniel, and a small part of me was hoping that without them, I'd be able to finally have that, but I'm starting to think maybe that kind of things just isn't for me.

"Okay this is my class," Logan says, it seems for a moment like he's about to hug me but he gets awkward and settles for a small wave before walking into the classroom.

Rowan shakes her head, "Boys are so stupid," She almost giggles a little, "My class is right there, see you in history or whatever."

By the time I get home, my spirits are raised a bit. I like hanging out with Logan, and I'm even beginning to like being around Rowan a little bit, she's blunt, but interesting to be around and even got their numbers in history earlier. 

Elijah is sitting at the kitchen table, texting into his phone, there's 3 Wendy's bags sitting on the kitchen table. I look for the one with a chicken sandwich and grab it, sitting down and beginning to eat it. Xander and Carlo trail in a little bit later, Xander takes his food to his room but Carlo heads toward the living room.

"Your birthday is soon," Elijah says.

I never told them my birthday. I sometimes forget they know things about me, I don't know why.

"Yeah," I say, feigning a smile for his sakes.

"What do you wanna do? Do you want to invite any friends over?" He asks, "Jess and Chase? Anyone from school?"

I shake my head, "No, thank you."

He looks a bit surprised by my response, "Are you sure?"

Of course I want to see Jess and Chase, but I don't want to celebrate my birthday, it isn't a very happy day for me.

"I'm sure. I just want to be here."

The answer catches him off guard, but it's almost as if the small smile that surfaces is involuntary, "I wish dad could be here for it," He says, and after a slight hesitance, he adds, "And Elena."

I glue my eyes to the table, "Yeah. I miss them."

"I get it, I miss both of them sometimes. Most times, just dad. Sometimes I miss when mom was here."

...

The next few days are pretty calm. It isn't until the week of my birthday that things go wrong. At school this time.

I walk through the hall with Rowan and Logan toward the library for study hall. The school has 2 libraries, one on the main floor, and one upstairs and down the hall that's further to get to and so there's never many people, that's the one we've been studying at. 

"I gave my parents my Christmas wishlist yesterday, they're so getting me a laptop," Rowan says.

"You would ask for a laptop. I just asked for money," Logan says, "What did you ask for?"

I just didn't want to think about it, it's never been anything for me to look forward to, in fact, between my birthday and christmas being in the same month, Daniel made it his personal mission to make sure December was absolute torture for me. He wouldn't let me leave the house outside of school reasons, I would spend almost all my time in the basement. Between my birthday and Christmas, December holds a really dark place in my mind.

My mind goes back to last December. A shiver runs down my spine. I wasn't allowed to leave the cellar for 48 hours. No food, no water, no one to talk to, just hours running by, I had no concept of time. When you sit somewhere like that alone for so long, you start to lose sense of yourself.

"Maddie. Maddie. Maddie, are you okay?" 

I don't even realize when I stop walking. I don't even realize when the slight shiver down my spine becomes something more paralyzing as my mind goes back to that dark place. My vision blacks in and out, as if it's a broken disc skipping back and forth between scenes. Between the school and that dark cellar where so much of who I was slipped away. Between New York and Seattle where I was kept away from my family for so long.

"What do we do?" I hear Logan ask, panicking.

"I'm gonna get her brother. I think she's having a panic attack."

"Hurry up," Logan says.

"Thanks for stating the obvious, genius," Rowan says and then I'm assuming she's left.

My heart is racing and I don't know why.

"Don't leave this basement until I decide you've learned your lesson."

I don't know when my shoulders start to tremble. I don't know how to bring myself back down, it sucks to have anxiety with no proper coping mechanism, even worse when the coping mechanisms only make them worse, they only bring my attention to the fact that I need to cope in the first place which makes me worse. It makes me panic.

"It's okay, Maddie," Is the only thing I hear.

.    .    .

part 2 of yesterday's update, i'll most likely be back on schedule this sunday

hope u enjoyed <3