The Eye of the Beholder

Part 5

At this point, I'm behind on my case notes. This particular case is consuming me, but why? What is it about this one particular case that is driving me off the rails? I mean, how could a rational person possibly decide that joining this lodge would be a good idea? Especially considering that I'm a detective looking into this case. What if the lodge itself is responsible for these killings? It can't necessarily be ruled out. Even though I'm pretty certain this is one person, there's always the possibility that there could be more. How would they react to me asking to join? I suppose that would give me some valuable insight; that said, I'd rather not die if I can help it.

But hey, let's look at the potential positives of this situation. This lodge might not be where I die. After all, I know little to nothing about Rosicrucianism so perhaps I'm making an unfair judgement. Maybe I'll gain some great ancient mystical knowledge from this experience. I find it rather naive to believe that there is not a single mystical thing about the universe. I could never subscribe to that. Frankly, I wouldn't want to. I've been in that hole of nihilistic thought and apathy, and it was Hell. But getting in touch with what's within has helped me endure all of life's challenges. Looking back, you can't help but notice how everything balances out. So what the hell? I'll join the club. At the very least, I'll probably deserve what happens to me.

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Are you fucking kidding me? It costs $150 a MONTH to join? With an initial down payment of $300? Jesus fucking Christ. This isn't a religious lodge, it's a billionaire boys club. Fuck me. "Join the club", what the fuck were you thinking? This isn't Metal Gear Solid, you can't just go in and infiltrate...

...I'm gonna do it, aren't I? I can't help it. I'm curious. My bank account will get murdered before I do.