𝚂𝚒𝚛𝚎𝚗 | 𝙵𝚒𝚗𝚗𝚒𝚌𝚔 𝙾𝚍𝚊𝚒𝚛 𝚡 𝚁𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛

𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 8

<Y/N's POV>

What's happening? 

What's going on? 

Where am I?

I can't remember where I am.

"(Y/n)?" 

I'm snapped out of my deep thoughts at the sound of Caesar's voice. "Are you okay?" He asks me. The whole audience staring at me and I suddenly remember where I am. The interview that the victors do right after the games. I was put into a 'babydoll dress', at least that's what Ms. Tigris called it, I was in all white like they were painting me as this innocent angel. I hated it. The question Caesar asked me alone infuriated me. "Am I okay? Am I okay?! Do I look okay?!" I snapped. 

Caesar looks at me a little taken aback and baffled. "I was put into a massacre. I watched my brother and my friend die right before my eyes. I watched a boy get crushed to death. I killed someone just to stay alive! So am I okay? No! I'm not okay!" I was done playing along with these sick games just to keep myself alive. Well I won. So I don't need to play along anymore. 

I stood up, causing Caesar to flinch a bit. "I want to go." I state. "But your interview isn't over yet." He says. "I don't care. Get me out of here now." I stand my ground. Caesar scrambles to try and end the interview as smoothly as he could. "W-Well folk looks like-" I didn't let him finish before I walk out. 

.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.

"What were you thinking?! Walking out like that?! How rude can you be?!" Stella reprimanded me. "How could you be encouraging this?! Why would I want people asking me how I'm doing when they watched what I went through. If anything they're the ones being rude!" I scream back at her. 

We were currently on the train heading back to district 4. I don't remember much of what happened after the interview, everything's just a bit of a blur. Stella continues to yell at me but I just block out her voice. I'm not doing this. I stood up and walk out heading to the back of the train with the big dome window. I sit on the sofa looking out the window. We still weren't out of the capitol so there wasn't much to look at. 

I was so tired. I wanted to sleep but I couldn't. No matter how hard I tried. Every time I closed my eyes I saw them. Liam and Wes. While I was in the sterile white room I had allowed myself to relax and it was like I could still feel their blood covering me. So even relaxing was out of the picture. I wanted to cry so bad but since we were still in the capitol there were still people watching. 

I heard the door opening but continued to look outside. If it was Stella coming to reprimand me again I wasn't going to deal with it. Footsteps made their way to me and I felt the sofa sink in. I look over and meet Finnick's gaze. "Hey." He says in barely a whisper. "Hey." I say back and turn back to the window. It stays quiet for a while. The only noise being the train moving. "Is this why you stopped talking to me?" I ask, finally. I feel his gaze on me as he speaks. "What do you mean?" "I mean," I turn back over to look at him, "did you stop talking to me because I wouldn't have been able to understand your trauma?" I clarify. "What? No I-" He bites his lip, stopping himself. "Then what was it Finnick. Because I tried to talk to you every single day and I always put it off as 'he's just getting used to being back', 'he just needs some time', but then the next year you go off to be a mentor, and I sat in front of that tv, basically glued to it just to catch a glimpse of you. I see you talk to the tributes with ease and even going out of your way to form a relationship with one of them knowing the chances of them returning are very slim. And when you come back..." I was starting to tear up now, the edge of the capitol coming into sight, "You and her are attached to the hip like we were so I just came to the conclusion, 'it's a trauma bond, something I could never understand'."