Chapter 5

88 8 3
                                    

Makenna's body jerked and her heart jumped in her chest. She closed her eyes and exhaled.
"Why do you always do that?"

"Sneak up on you?" He asked,

Makenna was quiet because he knew that's what she meant.

"I wouldn't be able to if you weren't always miles away from Earth." He replied, "You always seem to get lost in your head."

"Sometimes it's a better place to be than reality."

Atlas remained in quiet agreement with that because reality was like family; unique, with its ups and downs, and something you had to approach with care and handle to the best of your abilities. For some, it was scarring; a place you wanted to run from and for others, it was loving; a place you wanted to run to. It was easier to get lost in your own head to simply step away from the craziness of it all for a moment.

"Are you ok?" He asked again,

Makenna felt the cool night air against her skin and it gave her goosebumps. It wasn't that it was chilly, but his question mixed with the night air was what inflicted it.
"Even if I wasn't, the answer would be 'yes' because there's no point talking about it."

"You would get it off your chest, and sometimes that's all you need."

Makenna smiled in the dark. He sounded just like her therapist and that was comical because she had a deep unshakable feeling that Atlas had been through his fair share of struggles. Then again, that meant he knew the right questions to ask.

"I couldn't."

Atlas frowned and took a step closer,
"What do you mean?"

Makenna took a steady breath,
"I don't know how to." She let out her breath, "At least not anymore."

Atlas understood that a lot more than he wanted to. Not being able to talk about things was most times, not a choice. It was just physically and mentally difficult to get yourself to talk about it. At first, it started off as not wanting to relive those memories or feel those horrifying feelings you experienced. Then it grew to a fear of not wanting to see peoples' reactions when you talk to them about it. From there, it just became a lot easier not to say anything and keep it all inside.

Something that started off as a necessity became a norm, a habit.

"If there ever comes a time that you want to get it out," Atlas said, "I'll be here."

Atlas didn't know how badly Makenna had been wanting to hear that. She knew her parents felt the same way about always being there when she wanted to talk. It went unsaid. But they hadn't said it and hearing the words was like a warm hug on a cold night.

Makenna lifted her slightly blurry eyes to the sky as she tried to ignore her awareness of Atlas. The things he was saying weren't helping matters. If he could just shut up about things, she would be able to paint a different light of him in her mind. The more he spoke, the more she wanted him to keep talking.

Atlas followed her gaze and tilted his head back to look at the sky.
"The view from here is impeccable."

"One of the best." She immediately looked down and felt guilty for sitting there on the swing and star-gazing with Atlas.

It was something she and Rachel did and she felt terrible about it. She got up and turned to head back into the house,
"Excuse me,"

Atlas stood still when she walked past him even though every part of him wanted to stand in her way and hold her.

Why?
He had no idea.

This was why Makenna tried to stay away from home. It was just very easy to get sucked into that darkness and she was quick to blame herself all over again. If she hadn't applied to Seattle, they wouldn't be there and Rachel would be here.

Makenna walked into the kitchen and headed to the living area to get to her room.

"Honey?" Her dad called as she walked past her, "Everything ok?"

"Yes, Dad." She called as she reached the hallway and shut her door behind her when she walked into her room.

Joe, who was seated in the living room with Killian and Thea looked at Brianna just as Atlas walked in. Everyone turned their gaze to him and he stood there unsure of what just happened.

"I seem to have said the wrong thing," Atlas said, "Again."

"You're fine," Brianna got up and went to him, "Kenna's just had a long day. She'll be fine too."

Brianna gave him a warm smile that almost made him believe her. But he saw the worry in her eyes before she turned and went after Makenna.

"Join us." Joe drew his attention from Brianna who'd disappeared.

Atlas took a seat and Thea gave him a warm smile to get his mind off the situation just as Joe struck up a conversation with him.

Brianna stood outside Makenna's room and knocked on the door,
"Sweetheart?"

Makenna was lying on her side, facing away from the door when her mum pushed it open.

"Are you ok?"

Silence filled the room as a tear fell down the side of Makenna's face and she was grateful her mum couldn't see her. She swallowed, hoping her voice didn't betray her.

"Is it always going to hurt like this?"

"Oh, honey," Brianna sighed as she joined her in the bed, her arm around Makenna, she placed a kiss on the back of her head,

"Some days will be harder than others," Brianna said, "But keeping your gaze focused on the grief will not make it pass any quicker."

"It's hard to do when the guilt sets in as soon as the grief stops."

Brianna's eyes began to get blurry with tears. It was hard to see her daughter going through a hard season in her life. She didn't want to rush her grieving process, but she also didn't want her to get stuck there.

Brianna closed her eyes and said a quick prayer asking God to see Makenna through this tough season and bring her closer to him. Brianna knew she couldn't do much at this point, she could only place Makenna in God's care because He was the only one who knew what she was truly going through. He only could heal her broken heart.

Brianna opened her eyes and let out a soft exhale asking the Holy Spirit to give her the right words,
"In the end, everything will make sense."

Happy Beautiful Saturday,

Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.

Happy Beautiful Saturday,

Just giving you guys a quick update. I'm hoping to start posting booktoks on my Instagram more frequently than I was. So, be sure you check them out and hit follow if they're something you love and would like to see more of. (direct link --->)

Again, thank you all so much for the support here and on other platforms.

Much love,
Jane.

BruisedWhere stories live. Discover now