Built For This World

CHAPTER 8

I don't think I'll ever get used to a man like Daryl.
And I'm not just talking about his physical appearance, which damn is absolutely fantastic, but about him as a man.
His personality.
His strong, authoritarian nature.
Every gesture, every word that comes from this man exudes a power capable of putting me in awe, sending my brain into a tailspin.
The first lights of this dawn dimly illuminate his profile.
From the moment I reopened my eyes I couldn't take them off his face even for a moment.
His features are relaxed, soft, beautiful.
His strong arms are folded behind his head, a few strands of hair falling lazily across his forehead.
A light and adorable snore comes from his slightly parted lips, his chest rises gently, his breathing slow and steady.
Daryl Dixon sleeping is a sight to be enjoyed.
I sigh dreamily.
Is there anything this man doesn't do excellently?
I curl further into myself, hands clasped under my cheek and knees pressed against my stomach.
I enjoy this little show that I'm sure is something no one else can boast of having seen.
When I wake up the sky was still dark and my head was still resting on his chest, the scent of him in my nostrils was so strong it made my eyes roll.
I gently moved away from his body, ignoring the voice in my head that instead invited me to decrease the space between us even further.
I just had the burning desire to wrap my arms around him and bury my face in his neck.
But I listened to that little part of my self-control.
And now here I am.
Crouched in a corner enjoying this wonder.
Daryl moves slightly.
Instinctively I move away a little more.
I don't want to make him uncomfortable.
Even though he himself invited me to spend the night in his tent, I fear the moment he wakes up.
Why?
I don't even know why.
Maybe I'm just afraid that the night might have led him to change his mind about me.
About us.
I pinch my bottom lip between my teeth.
I still want to kiss him.
But him?
What about him.
His fluctuating mood is the thing that destabilizes me the most, we practically went from not looking at each other to sleeping hugged in the same tent.
Thinking back to yesterday...
God!
Yesterday more than once we got dangerously close to each other and more than once everything's came to nothing.
What if today he doesn't want it anymore?
If I close my eyes I can still feel his hands squeezing my hips, his breath on my heated lips.
His scent.
God.
I would let those strong, calloused hands do anything to me, I would let his thick fingers explore every millimeter of my scorching skin.
I squeeze my legs tightly, the fire burning between them seems to consume me mercilessly.
I whimper lightly, pathetically.
I sink my teeth into the back of my hand to try to quell my own pleasure.
Can I burn with passion for a man I just met?
This isn't me.
I'm not like that.
I have never been so passionate.
So eager.
So needy.
And this new part of me scares me.
It scares me because I shouldn't feel certain emotions, not now that the only goal of our life is to survive.
I return my gaze to the archer's face.
His very relaxed features soothe my agitated soul.
I could stay hours, days, maybe even years, still like this with him sweetly sleeping at my side.
"Take a picture, it'll last longer" his still sleeping voice whispers.
I gasp violently, blushing.
"What?" I squeak, letting my hair slide in front of my face, trying to hide my growing embarrassment, immediately interrupting all my unchaste thoughts.
Daryl turns his face slightly towards me as his body moves into the same position as mine.
His long legs come closer to mine while he bends one arm to support his head while the other hand comes closer to my face and pushes away my unruly locks with his fingertips.
His blue eyes now alert and attentive have a relaxed look.
"Yer starin'.'S creepy"
A veil of slyness is hidden in his drawl.
He's making fun of me.
He's trying to embarrass me.
I torture my lower lip between my teeth, tormenting it.
"Don't do tha' or ya'll ruin those pretty lips" he murmurs, bringing his thumb to my lip, freeing it from the torture of my teeth.
My breath gets stuck in my throat.
His gesture sends the part of my brain capable of formulating meaningful sentences into total blackout.
Actually my entire brain.
Trying to hide the passion that this man arouses in me, I decide to respond to his provocations with a little audacity.
"I wasn't staring at you.I was admiring you" I wink.
My lips rub gently on his digit still pressed to my lips.
"Stop" he grumbles, blushing too.
Well.
His own game is turning against him.
I smile satisfied, amused by the blush that spreads across his face as I watch him roll onto his back, his arms crossed over his chest and his gaze fixed on the ceiling of the tent.
He seems to tense up, I can feel the tension radiating from his body like waves.
The temptation to touch him is too strong.
Simply too much.
I move closer to him, carefully sliding my hand along his pecs and then back up towards his hair.
Daryl turns his face towards me, his gaze uncertain and his body rigid, almost scared like a cornered animal.
He acts like he expects to get hit every time my hands come near him.
The thought that a human being can be so little related to contact makes me sad.
I have always been used to being hugged, to being loved but for him it is as if all this were unknown.
It's all new to him.
I smile shyly trying to reassure him, trying to make him understand that the one thing I would never do is hurt him.
I push my hand into his hair, digging my fingers into the messy locks and smoothing them down.
A shaky sigh escapes his lips then his body relaxes and his eyes close.
With a little more courage than I had a few minutes ago I approach him, resting my head on his hard bicep.
The archer's muscular arm moves to make room for me so that I can rest my head right next to the junction of his neck and his clavicle.
My hand abandons his hair to move towards his neck, stroking the soft skin behind his ear and finally finding a place on the nape of his neck where my nails scratch his scalp languidly.
Without shame I take a deep breath.
"You smell good" I murmur although more than a murmur the words come out of my lips like a soft moan.
The man's body stiffens again but this time it is different.
His attitude seems to have another nuance.
It's not fear.
It's more like he's trying to tame something bigger.
"Do I make you nervous?" I whisper with my lips pressed to the base of his neck unable to stop.
This sweet torture intoxicates me.
It's unstoppable.
I propping myself up on my elbow and keeping my eyes fixed on Daryl's I move closer to his face leaving a light trail of small kisses along his jawline.
Slowly.
Slowly enough to give him all the time he needed to pull back but that doesn't happen.
Daryl turns his entire body towards me, his arms wrapping around my waist pulling me against his body, his fingers playing on my lower back.
"Watch out, pretty eyes.Ya be careful wha' ya wish fer"
His low drawl makes me blush.
His voice, still thick with sleep, awakens all my senses.
"You know big boy, I think you have a crush on me"
I wink, curling up against his chest to hide the blush that slowly and inexorably spreads across my face.
A light laugh resonates in his large chest, making the strings of my soul vibrate.
"Ya think?" the archer teases me by letting his long fingers run along my spine.
I nod, nuzzling my head against his neck, my lips finding his chin where they leave a little peck.
"You call me pretty eyes, pretty lips...so..."
He let out a hmph sound.
And I find it adorable.
I giggle as I move away from his body or at least I try because his strong, muscular arms keep me anchored to him.
I barely lift my face in search of his eyes and I find them already staring at me with an intensity that makes me breathless.
Everything is so easy with him.
All so natural.
Where's the catch?
Am I really ready to let him enter in my heart?
But in the end do I still have the time to choose?
Maybe...maybe I'm already in too deep and if he decides to smash my heart into a thousand pieces I'm sure I'd let him do it.
I'm willing to suffer even to have a little piece of him.
"Yer right.Ya pretty little thing, ya look so delicate but I know ya not like tha'.Oh no, ya ain't as sweet and delicate as ya would like to let me believe"
Daryl whispers barely brushing my lips with his.
His attentive gaze is studying me and his words crush my heart.
He is right.
I'm not like that or rather there was a time when I was delicate but it's been a really long time ago.
I had to replace sweetness with strength.
I had to replace the desire for love with the desire to survive.
Now I'm stronger, tougher and more cautious with people.
Distrust has become my dearest friend.
I hid my true nature behind a stronger, stoic demeanor.
A mask that this man seems determined to destroy and I'm ready to let him do it.
"If I let ya in..."
Daryl inhales deeply taking a moment to reflect on his own words before continuing.
"How dangerous are ya, Summer?"
His question makes my blood run cold.
I am not dangerous but my past, my history, is.
And a lot too.
I stammer something incomprehensible under my breath, moving away from his grasp, escaping his now suspicious gaze. Pushing my hands against his chest I give myself a gentle push and roll onto my back to put an end to whatever was about to happen.
I sit there unable to say anything.
Unable to answer his simple question.
Basically he doesn't know anything about me and before getting involved it's right that he wants to know.
But what about me?
Am I willing to answer him?
I already know my answer.
And fuck, this hurts for a million different reasons.
Behind me I can hear the rustling of the sleeping bag under the archer's movements.
His hand rests delicately on my back, making me tremble.
"Tell me who ya are, sunshine"
His short plea is muffled by his lips on my shoulder.
Very cautiously Daryl approaches me, sitting right in front of me, welcoming my figure between his long legs.
The soles of his boots resting firmly on the ground, legs raised and strong arms resting on his knees, his hands lazily caressing my biceps.
Small shivers blossom where his fingers pass.
I feel infinitely small locked in the prison of his body.
I bring my knees to my chest, wrapping them in my arms and risking a glance in his direction.
"Wha' are ya runnin' from?"
This is the final blow.
I only have two options.
Lie.
Lying like I learned to do.
Or I could tell him the truth.
Tell him why I'm running away.
What I'm running from.
Who I'm running from.
A sad smile caresses my lips.
Daryl cocks his head slightly to the side, his narrowed gaze busy studying my reaction.
Ready to grasp every little nuance.
I look down at the tips of my boots.
"Do you think it is possible to escape from our past?" I whisper.
The sound of my voice drowned only by the deafening beat of my heart thundering in my ears.
"If I told you I was running away from myself would you believe me, Daryl?"
The man's large hand makes space on my face, finding the perfect fit in the hollow of my neck.
His thumb is a light caress on my cold skin.
His head tilts further in search of my elusive gaze.
"Good luck with this.I've been doin' this shit my whole damn life"
His words catch my attention like a moth attracted to the light.
His blue gaze, like crystalline water, seems to darken, behind it a veil made of ancient memories and pain.
His past also seems to haunt him.
"It doesn't work, does it?" I smile defeated.
I don't know why this makes me sad, after all I am aware of the fact that it ain't possible to escape from our demons, from our mistakes, yet I always hope that it's possible...
"Listen to me" Daryl whispers, moving a little closer.
Our faces are really so close that I feel like I'm running out of oxygen in my lungs.
"Ya can run, ya can run fer yer whole life.Ya can run fer miles but yer past is here" he murmurs, touching my left temple with the tip of his index finger.
"And here" he whispers, moving his finger towards the center of my chest, pointing it right at my heart.
"Yer past will forever be a part of ya.Yer past is what has shaped the woman ya're today"
His hands gently wrap around my face caressing me as if I were made of crystal.
As if he was afraid he would break me if he held me tighter.
"I dunno anythin' 'bout tha' past and I don't give a shit.Do ya know wha' I see instead?"
His southern accent sweetly envelops my every thought, making my mouth go dry.
My fingers timidly find his wrists, wrapping around them with desperate need.
I cling to him, to his words, as if they were my only hold.
Daryl is the only thing keeping me afloat in this sea of pain right now.
"What do you see?"
Daryl licks his lips.
And then he smiles.
And the world stops.
His face looks infinitely younger.
It's as if all his pain, all my pain, just disappeared.
Nothing exists anymore.
Just me and him.
"I see a strong woman, a woman who defied death to find something else.I see a brave woman, a woman who isn't afraid to take on an asshole like Shane.I see a loyal friend, a friend who puts aside her own shit to help Carol.Summer ya so many beautiful things tha'...God!It pisses me off tha' ya don't see it"
With my eyes wide open and my heart racing, I don't even realize what happens immediately afterwards.
Daryl's lips crash against mine.
His firm grip on my face is fuel on the fire.
The violence of the contact only fuels the fire inside me.
I get up, kneeling and bringing my body closer to his, our chests pressing against each other with so much vehemence that if it were possible I would melt and merge into him.
My arms wrap around his neck, my hands dive into his soft locks, pulling them hard.
A pathetic moan leaves my lips and Daryl takes the opportunity to slide his velvety tongue between them.
I moan louder in response.
Despite the fervor of the kiss, Daryl's tongue moves shyly as if all of a sudden he isn't so sure anymore.
As if he were embarrassed by his own passion for me.
We both don't know what we're doing and where all this will take us but we can't help but surrender to our needs.
Because yeah, what we feel is need.
A physical need, the need to soothe our pain.
The corrosive need to no longer be alone.
I soften my grip on his hair by sliding my fingers along the back of his neck, giving him sweet caresses with my fingers.
I move my lips delicately caressing his tongue with mine.
Kissing Daryl is like downing a shot of tequila in one gulp.
It burns every sense and goes straight to the brain clouding every thought, every fear, every inhibition.
Kissing Daryl is losing yourself in the oblivion of pleasure.
Suddenly the kiss ends and when my eyelids flicker again, the first thing that strikes me is the man's bewildered look.
He seems intimidated, almost scared.
I tremble as I lower my gaze, suddenly struck by a thousand anxieties.
His strong hands move down my sides and then cling tightly to my feverish skin, his forehead rests delicately against mine.
"It was so bad?" he tries to lighten me up noticing the tension in my body.
I just shake my head with a shy smile.
"Not that bad, big boy" I whisper, seeking his lips again, kissing him once more.
A light and quick kiss.
With my fingers I continue to absentmindedly caress the back of his neck, enjoying this little moment of haze.
Daryl looks thoughtful as his intelligent, attentive eyes probe my face.
"Listen to me, sunshine.If ya don't wan' to talk 'bout it that's fine but don't give me bullshit.No lies.I hate lies"
Daryl is trusting me and I know I don't want to disappoint him, I can't do it for the simple fact that I would never forgive myself.
I know it's an effort for him too to trust me and I can't betray him.
"There was a man" I whisper, moving my hands towards his chest, holding onto his shirt.
Talking about Negan always hurts.
My cold fingers grip the fabric of his shirt almost angrily as my heart pumps furiously.
"I ran away from him, from his men...I couldn't stay any longer.I don't want to lie to you" I whisper under my breath, looking for his gaze.
The archer looks at me seriously and imperturbably.
"I don't want to lie to you but...but I don't feel like talking about it.Not now.Do you understand that?"
My anxiety is so powerful that I can't hold his gaze for a moment longer so I bury my face in his chest while his arms close around me giving me the comfort I crave.
One day, when I'm ready, I'll talk about him.
I'll tell Daryl everything.
But not now.
Now I need to find myself again.
I just need to find my balance again.
Because the only person I ever lost and need back is me.
Daryl's steady heartbeat helps me regain some self-control.
His silence gives me time to compose myself.
We remain still in our embrace until he pulls away just enough to find my eyes again.
"Did he hurt ya?"
His simple question hides an anger so visceral it scares me.
Even though he has always been sweet and delicate with me, Daryl is a strong, feral man and I am sure that anyone could only tremble in terror if they faced a man like him.
In response I simply shake my head.
Negan never physically hurt me but the pain he inflicted on my soul and heart was pure torture.
That man destroyed my heart and my soul and if he had also inflicted physical pain on me I would have almost welcomed it with open arms to no longer feel that pain inside me.
Daryl inhales deeply.
"Ya safe now and will be as long as I have the strength to protect ya.I will never let him get close to ya.Never again" he whispers.
My heart flutters at his promise.
And then, before I could even think he kiss me again.
This time with more confidence, with more awareness.
He kiss me so hard that I might consider the idea that my lips might become bruised.
And honestly I'm not complaining one bit.
The feeling of his lips on mine makes me arch my back in ecstasy.
I let out a sigh, which I didn't mean to sound so much like a moan, but the archer's lips curl up against my lips.
He seems satisfied and he leans back to give me another smile.
I return a smile resignedly, aware of not being able to control the reactions of my own body in his presence.
Not that he seems to be complaining about it.
"Are you mad at me?"
The archer tilts his head slightly to the side, shocked by my question.
"Wha'?Why should I be mad at ya?"
His tone seems almost amused.
I shrug.
"I do not know.Because I don't want to talk about..."
Daryl cuts me off immediately by crashing his lips against mine, pressing them so hard that I bend backwards until my back hits the hard ground.
I watch him as he leans towards me, placing his hands on the sides of my head.
"Ya don't even have to think 'bout it, sunshine.Ya talk when ya ready and if ya never be ready it'll be fine anyway, alrigh'?"
I nod, smiling and pinching my bottom lip between my teeth.
My hands grab the scruff of his shirt pulling him towards my lips but before I can deepen the kiss a voice makes us jump.
"I hope you're not naked because I already have too much trauma.I don't need to see your ass too, pookie"
I can't resist the laughter that forcefully bursts from my lips.
Carol enters the tent with a hand covering her eyes and a toothy smile.
Daryl huffs, letting his head fall forward.
Still shaking from laughter, I press my hands on the man's chest, pushing him away from me and sitting back down.
"C'mon Carol.Don't worry, we're already done" I smile, pushing my foot towards her boot.
The archer lies down on the sleeping bag, rolling onto his back and then sitting up.
"So...pookie?Really?" I ask amused laughing again followed by Carol's laughter and another adorable snort from the man in question.
"Stop.Both of you" Daryl grumbles, focusing his icy gaze on both of us.
At first glance he might seem angry but the tips of his ears deliciously red make me understand that he is just terribly embarrassed.
Carol laughs as she sits next to me.
"Why?Doesn't it suit him?" the woman teases him, eyeing the man on the verge of embarrassment.
"Stop" he grumbles again, crossing his arms over his chest and avoiding our amused looks.
"Oh Carol, don't be mean" I scold her affectionately, putting my arm around her shoulders.
"Do you need something?" I ask her.
I can't stop smiling.
And it hits me.
I haven't felt so relaxed, so comfortable in a long time.
These people I just met managed to bring some calm back to my wounded heart.
I will never be able to thank them enough, not even if I lived a thousand more lives.
Subconsciously these people did more than they were supposed to do.
"Yeah.Breakfast is ready.You need to eat.Both of you need it"
My stomach growls loudly at her words.
I forgot the last time I ate.
Between Shane's mess, Sophia's search and the accident I lost track of time and my needs.
"You almost died, both of you.Now you have the duty to get back on your feet.Let's go" continues the woman, standing up and leaving the tent.
"I'll give you five minutes.Hurry up!" she yells before walking away.
I smile again shaking my head.
I have to get used to feelings like kindness and receiving care and attention from others again.
When I look for Daryl I find him staring at me.
His eyes, blue as the ocean, shine with a light I have never seen in them.
His lips are curved in a small smile.
"What's up?" I ask, embarrassed by his insistent gaze.
The archer shrugs.
"Uhu nothin'.Yer really pretty when ya smile.Ya should do this more often"
His half-hearted compliment awakens a sweet warmth in the center of my chest.
This grumpy and unfriendly man is truly adorable.
I scoop near him pressing a light peck on his beautiful lips.
"The same goes for you.You're really beautiful when you smile, pookie" I murmur bringing my lips to his again.
Daryl huffs but doesn't reject the kiss.
I smile against his lips.
"I think it suits you.On the outside you're grumpy like a bear but on the inside you're really soft" I tease him and without giving him time to reply I quickly kiss him again and leave the tent and head towards the camp where everyone else is.
The first to notice me is Shane.
The man stands slightly apart from the others.
He glances at me briefly and then returns his attention to the plate in his hands.
Strangely, his gaze wasn't full of hate as it often is when it's directed at me.
Maybe, since I got shot less than 48 hours ago, he decided to cut me some slack.
Good.
Carol smiles at me and tilts her head towards a chair.
I sit down smiling at the rest of the people.
Rick, Lori and Carl are sitting together enjoying their breakfast.
As soon as Carl sees me he gives me a shy smile which I return with a wink, the boy laughs in amusement attracting his mother's attention.
Lori nods her head a little.
I think she still feels embarrassed about what she asked me to do but the fact that she finally talked about it with her husband seems to have made her relax a bit.
Rick watches her, his crystal clear eyes are an ocean of fear and confusion.
At the moment Lori seems to be fine and mentally I breathe a sigh of relief.
I feel so fucking guilty for getting her those damn pills.
I really hope that the little one is okay.
T-Dog is helping Carol by the fire.
It looks like they are cooking eggs.
Great.
My stomach rumbles again as their delicious scent reaches my nostrils making my mouth salivate.
Andrea is sitting in front of me busy smoothing the large blade of a hunting knife, her sister Amy, sitting next to her, is also observing her carefully, waiting to receive her food ration.
Glenn and Dale are next to each other and both exchange weird looks.
Glenn, unlike other days, seems particularly tense.
Nervous I dare say.
He shifts his weight from one foot to the other uncomfortably, casting a fleeting glance towards the porch of the Green house from where Maggie is watching us.
Her expression is too serious.
Maybe the two lovebirds had some spats.
Who knows.
My thoughts are interrupted by heavy footsteps.
And I don't need to turn around to understand who they belong to.
Daryl's scent reaches me before his hand gently rests on my shoulder.
"Take it.It's cold today" the man mutters, handing me a blue checked flannel shirt.
One of his shirts.
My heart jumps into my throat and begins to beat in a completely irregular way.
I actually didn't pay much attention to the weather when I left the archer's tent.
Today the gray sky is covered with large clouds and a light wind makes me shiver.
My t-shirt is certainly not appropriate.
Daryl sits down next to me, giving me a brief smile.
I blush as I slip my arms into his shirt, a shirt that is full of his intoxicating scent.
"Oh wow!This shirt has sleeves.I didn't think you had one" I whisper teasing him and getting an adorable amused snort from him in response.
"Thanks" I whisper with my cheeks still burning, resting my head on his shoulder for a moment.
"'S nothin' " he shrugs giving me a gentle shove with his elbow.
Our little exchange of effusions ends when Glenn clears his throat a couple of times.
I observe him carefully while he walks back and forth with an agitated pace.
What happens?
It's not like him to behave like this.
Glenn is always sunny, always with that sweet smile on his face, but this morning he is different.
His eyes are surrounded by the hint of dark circles as if he's had little sleep and his lips are curled into a serious line.
Something's wrong, I can feel it under my skin.
"Um, guys" he mutters, nervously running a hand over his chin.
My eyes immediately search Daryl's.
The man returns my gaze with his equally worried look.
He too realized that there is something strange in the delivery boy's attitude.
We both turn our fullest attention to him.
"So...theburnisfullofwalkers" he snorts in one breath.
Immediately ten heads snap towards the barn.
Ten pairs of wide, disbelieving eyes turn their attention back to Glenn.
I feel panic gripping my guts as in a completely involuntary gesture my hand goes to squeeze the forearm of the man next to me.
My eyes full of terror are reflected in the archer's incredulous ones.
His hand gently squeezes my fingers which are unconsciously squeezing his arm.
Unceremoniously Rick and Shane are the first to quickly walk towards the barn.
Everyone else follows them.
Everyone except me.
I feel as if my legs are paralyzed, a general tremor radiates along my limbs.
"C'mom sunshine, everythin' will be fine" Daryl urges me.
I turn towards his voice and find him standing next to me, my hand still tight on his arm.
My nails are digging little half-moons shapes into his tanned skin.
As soon as I realize this I immediately withdraw my hand, bringing it to my lap and muttering an apology under my breath, my eyes lowered to my knees.
Daryl kneels, bringing his face level with mine, his hands are a delicate caress on my thighs.
From the knee they slowly move up along them and then repeat the same reassuring movement over and over again.
"Hey!Will everythin' be good, alrigh'?C'mere" he whispers, bringing his face close to mine and kissing me lightly on the lips.
I feel the blush arise from my neck to the tips of my ears.
I look around nervously and then return my attention to the man kneeling in front of me.
"Daryl!Someone might see us!" I squeak in panic.
Daryl huffs in response, standing up and holding out his hand.
I look at his large, calloused fingers and with a trembling hand I accept his hold.
"I don't give a damn 'bout others.Do ya care?" he asks without looking me in the eyes.
Our fingers intertwine and together we walk towards the barn from where we can already hear the agitated voices of the others carried by the wind.
Before we can reach the others I stop, yanking the archer's hand who, looking at me furtively, stops.
"I don't care about others either" I smile shyly.
And it's the truth.
I could never be ashamed of him.
His gesture definitely took me by surprise, I must admit, and for a moment I feared what others might think.
My arrival has already caused several problems and tribulations in the group and I wouldn't want my closeness with the handsome archer to be a further reason for arguments between him and Shane.
"Good" Daryl grunts and I could swear I saw him blush as we start walking again with a determined pace.
I beam at his back while I can't take my eyes off our fingers locked together.
Rick and Shane are facing each other while the latter points a finger at his friend's chest.
"You cannot tell me you're all right with this" Shane hisses out.
Rick's gaze hardens.
"No, I'm not, but we're guests here.This isn't our land" replies the officer.
The sharp tone of his voice seems to make Shane even more angry.
The man takes a few steps away, bringing his hand to his face and rubbing it nervously.
"Oh God.This is our lives, man" he shouts.
From the barn, increasingly insistent moans and growls follow one another.
"Lower your voice" I invite them, pressing me close to Daryl.
The hotter things get, the more the walkers seem to get agitated.
Shane gives me a mean glare but, perhaps seeing me clinging to Daryl's arm, he decides not to say anything to me and simply shakes his head.
I exchange a quick glance with Glenn.
Anxiety seems to be eating him up.
Andrea lovingly wraps her arm around her sister's shoulders, as if she wanted to protect her from what's in that damned barn.
"We can't just sweep this under the rug" the woman vehemently explains her opinion, immediately earning a hint of approval from Shane who immediately after her adds "It ain't right.Not remotely"
Then he starts walking back and forth again.
His body radiates nervousness from every pore, making me more and more nervous.
Next to me Carl squirmed slightly, hiding behind his mother.
Lori grabs her boy's hand and tries to silently comfort him.
"We either got to go in there, we got to do things right, or we just got to go.Now we have been talking about Fort Benning for a long time" Shane says confidently but his words clash with the determined frown of his best friend.
Shit.
Would they really want to leave this place?
What if the group decided to head towards Washington?
I can't even think about it...
I squeeze the archer's fingers tighter and his gaze immediately falls on me.
I think he sees the panic all over my face because, reciprocating my grip around my trembling fingers, he whispers "Don't worry.We found a way"
I nod, chewing the inside of my cheeks until I taste the coppery taste of my blood.
What a fucked up situation!
Why would Hersel keep all these walkers imprisoned?
Does he not realize the risk he places his own daughters in?
"We can't go" Rick barks, gesturing nervously.
Of course he can't.
His wife is pregnant and leaves like this blindly without a real and safe destination is unthinkable.
"Why Rick?Why?" Shane shouts with his eyes almost bulging.
But before anyone can respond Carol advances with a determined step alongside Rick and facing Shane.
"Because my daughter is still out there"
Her eyes are full of tears.
How could we ever leave this place without first finding Sophia?
It is an absolutely impossible option to take into consideration.
Unthinkable.
Shane scoffs by burying his face in his hands.
His reaction activates every cell in my body.
I am fully aware that if Shane says the wrong words I will lose my mind.
"Okay, okay" Shane murmurs, moving closer to Carol.
In a completely automatic gesture I let go of Daryl's hand to move closer to Carol.
"Okay" the man sighs "Okay, I think it's time that we all start to just consider the other possibility"
"Fuck you Shane!We're not leaving Sophia behind.We're so close" I snap, pressing my hands forcefully on his hard chest, making him move back just a few steps.
Daryl approaches immediately trying to calm things down but now it's open war between me and that piece of shit of Shane.
I put my hands on my hips, daring him to respond to my words.
He snorts in response, rolling his eyes.
"Daryl and I found his doll two days ago"
The man chuckles sarcastically at my words.
"You found her doll.That's what you did.You found a damn doll.You almost died for a fucking doll.Do you understand, kid?" he yells a few inches from my face sending shivers down my spine.
I feel myself being grabbed violently by the arm and before I can understand what's happening Daryl comes dangerously close, screaming too.
"You don't know wha' the hell ya talking 'bout"
"Man, look, I'm just saying what needs to be said here" retorts Shane.
I feel like my head is exploding so I decide to take a few steps away, leaving the shouting and arguing behind me.
I'm too nervous and too angry that I really could have hit that idiot if I had stayed there a little longer.
I approach the barn door, peering between the boards.
Inside it, dozens of walkers walk aimlessly, grunting and bumping into each other without any logic.
Something brushes against my shoulder making me jump startling in fear.
When I turn around I have Glenn's tired and heartbroken face in front of me.
"Shit dude.You scare the shit out of me" I scold him with my nerves on edge.
"Sorry" he apologizes, lowering his gaze and digging his hands into the pockets of his jeans.
"It seems like lately whatever I do doesn't work out right"
My friend's words make my heart ache.
"Hey" I call him hugging him.
"It's not your fault.We are all nervous.Sorry"
Glenn returns the hug with much more force than usual, burying his face in my hair.
"I had to say it.Even though I love Maggie, you are my family.I couldn't stay silent.You understand me, don't you?" he murmurs in my ear, continuing to hold me in his arms.
Poor Glenn.
I'm sorry to see him so torn between his love for Maggie and his loyalty to all of us.
"You did what you thought was right.Don't blame yourself.Maggie is a smart woman, she will understand" I try to console him.
Suddenly all hell breaks loose behind us.
I abruptly break the hug in time to see Daryl lunge at Shane.
And it's chaos.
The two are pulled back by several hands, each trying to prevent the two men from being able to hit each other.
Without thinking twice I run into the fray, standing right in front of the archer's body, catching Shane's fist right in my face.
I stagger a few steps, feeling a heat dripping from above my eye.
Grunting, while the screams get louder and more excited around me, I put a hand to my face.
A hand that is immediately tinged with a bright crimson shade.
Fuck!
I stagger a few steps, tripping over my own feet and ending up with my ass on the ground.
"Shit" I cough as my back hits the hard ground.
Immediately afterwards some hands press against my forehead but when I try to rebel a voice immediately silences me.
"It's me.Stay still"
T-Dog's friendly voice reaches my confused brain.
The man takes a rag out of his pants pocket and presses it right to my left eyebrow.
I hiss as the fabric touches my broken skin.
"Don't worry.It's the eyebrow, it's normal for it to bleed a lot.A couple of stitches and you'll be as good as new" he grunts as he takes my weight on himself, passing my arm over his shoulders and helping me stand up.
And even though my vision is blurry and I'm currently seeing double I can paint the picture of the situation in front of me.
Rick's arms are wrapped around Daryl's torso as Glenn tries to help calm him down.
Lori protects her little boy with her body, an action that Andrea is also carrying out towards her little sister.
Shane's chest rises and falls rapidly, his body shaking with uncontainable anger.
Carol and Dale try to bring sanity back to the group but they're all too busy yelling at each other to realize it.
"Would you take me to Hersel?" I ask, receiving a nod from T-Dog in response.
I'm too tired and too confused right now to deal with them.
With limping steps we finally manage to reach the porch of the large white house.
A thoughtful Maggie is sitting on the steps and as soon as she notices us and the state of my face she reaches us with a couple of quick strides.
Without saying a word she takes us inside going to call her father.