As long as you love me

Shattered Resilience

The alarm clock blared at 2:30 am, piercing through the silence of the small apartment. I dragged myself out of bed, careful not to wake my two little angels sleeping peacefully in the next room. John, my husband, had already stumbled out the door for his early shift as a gasoline boy. It was a routine I'd come to dread.

As I prepared breakfast for the kids, a sense of guilt lingered in the air. The money John earned vanished into the bottom of a bottle, leaving us with barely enough to make ends meet. The girls, my precious daughters, deserved a better life than this. I had to do something.

That's when Suzy's Diner came into the picture. With reluctance, I took on a part-time job as a server. Suzy even offered me a full-time position, but I declined, knowing I had to be home before John returned, drowned in the stench of alcohol. His unpredictable temper and the demons lurking in his mind were a constant source of fear.

Every day, I juggled between being a server and a mother, rushing home before John could unleash his wrath. In those precious moments before dawn, I cleaned the apartment, prepared for the day, cooked for the kids, and tried to impart some education—reading, basic math—to my daughters. It was a makeshift school at home since I couldn't afford to send them to one.

One evening, as I buttoned up my uniform and prepared to leave for work, my eldest daughter, Anna, tugged at my apron. Her big, innocent eyes stared up at me.

"Mommy, why can't we go to school like the other kids?" she asked, her voice carrying a weight too heavy for a five-year-old.

I crouched down to her eye level, taking a deep breath. "Sweetheart, Mommy and Daddy are going through a tough time right now. But I promise, I'll do everything I can to change that. You and Lea deserve the best."

Anna nodded, her understanding beyond her years. "I'll take care of Lea, Mommy. You go to work and make money for us."

Tears welled up in my eyes as I hugged her tightly. "I'm so sorry, Anna. I wish things were different."

She looked up at me with a determined gaze. "It's okay, Mommy. We'll be okay. Just come back soon, and we'll be right here, waiting for you."

And so, with a heavy heart, I left my daughters in the dimly lit apartment, hoping for a better future. The dialogue between Anna and I lingered in my mind, a reminder of the sacrifices we made and the resilience of a child forced to grow up too soon.

The diner's back door swung open precisely at 9:30 am, allowing me a brief respite before the day's whirlwind began. With a shift from 10 am to 5 pm, the diner conveniently stood within walking distance from our apartment, granting me a crucial window to return home before my husband's arrival.

"Woah, Lina! That's one impressive makeup job you've got there!" exclaimed Tom, the diner's skilled cook and Suzy's husband.

"Emergency, Aunt Suzy," called Jess, Suzy and Tom's niece who worked alongside me as a server.

"It's nothing, really," I replied, attempting to conceal the bruise on my cheek from John's violent outburst the night before.

"It's far from 'nothing,' Lina. I can see that bruise from here," Suzy remarked as she emerged from her petite office space. "You can't serve with that face."

"It's fine. Let's switch places," offered Ryan with a cheeky wink. Suzy and Tom's only child, he usually manned the dishwasher. This wasn't the first time we'd shuffled roles, especially when I needed to keep my battered face away from prying eyes.

The diner, a familial haven owned by Suzy, operated as a tight-knit community of relatives — except for me. Despite the kinship, I was keen on keeping my struggles at arm's length.

"You really should leave that husband of yours. He can't take care of you and your children. Yes, he only hurts you now, but what about in the future? Are you sure he won't hurt your kids?" Suzy's concern echoed through her words.

"I'm trying, Suzy. Just until I've saved enough to move to a new apartment away from here, and we're leaving," I explained.

"We've told you, you can stay with us. If you save enough, then move somewhere else. You don't have to stay with that sick drunkard," Suzy insisted, her offer a recurring lifeline.

"I appreciate that, Suzy. But I don't want you to get involved. We don't know what my husband can do. He has nothing to lose if we leave him, so we can never know what he might do to you."

"You could say the same thing for yourself, honey. You can't be sure he won't find you when you move."

"I'll figure it out by then."

The day unfolded in a relentless blur. The diner pulsed with a relentless stream of people. While I wasn't weaving through tables as a server, my arms ached from the relentless onslaught of dirty dishes. It was a welcome pain, a stark contrast to the wounds inflicted by my husband.

After bidding farewell to my colleagues, I stepped out through the diner's back door on my way home. The night air was crisp, and the distant hum of the city surrounded me. As I walked, lost in my thoughts, a sudden grip tightened around me from behind. Before I could unleash a scream, a harsh hand clamped over my mouth, muffling any sound. The next thing I knew, I was being forcibly ushered into the backseat of a car, its presence unknown until that moment.

Am I being kidnapped? Panic surged within me, fueled by the realization that no one would be there for my kids. My husband, indifferent and callous, wouldn't care if I were abducted. Even if ransom were demanded, I had nothing to offer.

Adrenaline coursed through my veins as I began to struggle. I shouted and kicked with all my might, but my abductor proved stronger, relentless in his hold.

"Stop," the commanding voice ordered. Something in me froze at the command, my heart included.

A strange mix of fear and anticipation swirled within me. It wasn't just the threat; there was an inexplicable undercurrent. His breath grazed the nape of my neck, sending shivers across my skin. I felt the heat radiating from him as he held me from behind. It was an odd sensation – not just fear, but something I couldn't quite pinpoint.

"Yes. I know you feel it too," he said, his lips tracing the space between my neck and shoulder. A surge of electric sensations coursed through my body, and, against my will, I found myself leaning into his touch.

"Mine," he whispered, and in that moment, my world crumbled at his feet. The fear of the unknown intertwined with a strange allure, leaving my resilience shattered.