Sanguine || Astarion x Reader

Found Myself In You

In which you and Astarion part after defeating the Netherbrain for Astarion to find himself and you meet again at Withers' reunion party.

.

.

.

.

You weren't exactly sure when you'd see Astarion again. It's not like you parted because of bad blood, that was definitely not the case.

After the events of defeating the Netherbrain, Astarion found himself cast into darkness again, now that he was without the protection of the tadpole.

You spoke to him at the Elfsong Tavern that night, a melancholy look about him, as you asked about his plans for his future.

He sighed deeply then, feeling the weight of the world once again on his pale shoulders. His ruby eyes were down cast, curtained by long ashen lashes, as he thinks of his fate.

"I... I don't know, honestly," Astarion admitted. "Who knew having so much freedom would feel so... daunting."

You smiled warmly at him in reply, hoping to reassure him, and placed a careful hand on his cheek. He leaned into your touch, finding solace in the warmth of your flesh.

"Perhaps," you offer gently. "You need some time to figure out who you are and what you want outside of our relationship."

Astarion draws back from your touch, his red eyes frantically flicker to and from yours. "Darling, I already told you I—"

"I know," you whisper softly. "I know you said you wanted me, you wanted whatever we had, but what about the things outside of us?"

Astarion remains silent, the corners of his mouth tugging into a sad frown. You hate seeing him like this, and you could only imagine how wretched Astarion feels upon the realization that he doesn't know what he wants besides you.

You're the only thing in this godsforsaken world he's sure of.

"You're right," Astarion breathes. "As much as I dread it, I think I have go and figure things out on my own— if that's alright with you." Finally, he graces you with his gaze. His crimson eyes so open, uncertain, and vulnerable. They're glassy with unshed tears.

You offer him a soft smile, your own eyes welling with tears of pride. Even when he needs to achieve something for himself, he cares enough to consider your opinions, your emotions about the matter.

Gently, you tilted his head down to press a kiss on his forehead. Astarion sighs at the affectionate gesture, something in his chest clenches in response as he yearns for more of your love like the greedy thing he was.

And when he lifts his head up from your lips and sees that wet look in your eye, he swore he wanted to weep at even suggesting to part with you.

"Of course, I'm alright with it," you reply eagerly, even when your own heart hurts to say it. It's for his own good, for him to heal, for him to discover himself outside your relationship. "I want you to live, Astarion. As much as I know you enjoy our time together, I don't want you to feel trapped in your choices. Be free, my love. Fate will bring us together again, I'm sure of it."

Astarion sears your smile into memory as he unknowingly goes half a year without seeing it.

He knows he shouldn't feel so giddy upon receiving Withers's invitation in his current lodgings in the Underdark.

As Astarion opens the letter, he only registers two words, pretty much: reunion and companions. If his undead heart could beat, it would be hammering in his chest right about now.