Kyle and the Princesses of Power

Chapter One: Mornings in the Horde

Anyone who didn't read the trigger warnings here they are! Warnings for: Bullying, depression, self harm, suicide and self hatred. I promise it will not all be bleak. There will be happy moments for Kyle too!

Mornings in the Horde were the worst part of the day for Kyle which was saying something because every moment was awful.

Mornings were only the worst part because that meant the reset button of another day trying to find one small thing to be happy about. Most days he didn't succeed. In a rapidly increasing faction morning wasn't even that anymore because often he didn't even sleep in the first place. Those days were worse. At least if he got some sleep that was a blissful few hours of not dealing with the painful thoughts that came with consciousness.

The alarm that woke them all at 5:00 jolted him from a broken sleep and for a moment he lay completely still, hands clenched into tight fists by his side, shivering slightly. A couple of weeks ago Lonnie and one of her friends had taken the thin piece of fabric used as a blanket and his pillow. Now all he had was the hard mattress, making him icy cold from before falling asleep to the moment his eyes regrettably peeled open. Moving would mean warming up. Kyle still didn't move though. Breakfast was at 5:30 but he didn't get the point of going. Maybe he could use the time for twenty minutes alone. Twenty minutes to not get hurt, ridiculed or mocked.

He could hear the others – Lonnie, Rogelio and three other cadets (Jarl, Erik and Cora) – getting ready. There used to be twelve of them in the room but one died on a mission, two had gotten too badly injured to be any use to the Horde. Adora had left them (he couldn't blame her for that) and Catra now had her own room being Second in Command. A part of him couldn't help but wish he had been the one who died instead. Everyone else certainly thought that, reminding him of it on a regular basis.
"Kyle!" Lonnie yelled, making him jump. They all noticed and snickered. "Stop lazing around and get up!" Kyle sighed and sat up, stretching his tense arms slightly. So much for some time alone.

As he jumped down from the top bunk Jarl stuck out his foot. It knocked his landing off balance and he fell to the ground with a painful thud, a stinging pain shooting through both his wrists as Kyle tried to break his fall.
"Ow..." he whimpered slightly but he wouldn't allow himself not to cry. Not in front of them. He had made that mistake enough times.
"Seriously, Kyle?" Lonnie mocked. "You're pathetic." Kyle didn't say anything back, just let out an awkward chuckle and stood up, brushing himself off. He could feel a trickle of blood run down his knee. That wasn't anything new. "Tsk, c'mon guys." They went out without another look, even Rogelio who Kyle had once wrongly thought was his friend.

Kyle swallowed the painful lump in his throat.

Life in the Horde had always been difficult for him. As everyone said he was weak. Weak and useless and pathetic. It had gotten worse after the weird alternate reality they had been in because after that they had rechecked cameras and found out that Kyle wasn't just weak and pathetic but also a traitor. He had given the rebellion the information that they needed to rescue the princess and escape. That was also the incident that had gotten Entrapta into the rebellion who had too also recently betrayed them.

The beatings had got worse, Rogelio no longer wanted nothing to do with him and he had been locked in a tiny room worse than the one Shadow Weaver had been imprisoned in for two weeks. He still wasn't sure why he had been released and not sent to Beast Island. In a way he wished he had been. Survival there was astronomically slim after all.

Before heading to breakfast – he was up after all – Kyle made sure the bandage around his wrist wasn't dripping any blood. It wasn't and the bandage was clear of any stains. The marks must have scabbed over again. He didn't take it off though. If they reopened he needed something to slow the blood spill in case someone noticed. Kyle yanked his sleeve down and ran his fingers through is mess of fluffy blonde hair to try reassure himself. It didn't work.

Walking to breakfast he kept his head down and did so when getting his breakfast ration bar. He sat as far away from the other cadets as he could but inevitably Lonnie came over, flanked by Erik and Cora. It felt both like yesterday and decades ago that the three had challenged Catra over seeing the new princess with how everything was both the same and yet also so painfully different. She snatched the bar, like she did with a good 2/3 of meals. Kyle sometimes argued. Now, more often, he just let it happen. He wasn't sure which made them more disdainful.

"Lonnie's right, you are pathetic," Cora sneered. "Can't even stand up for yourself." He just shrugged.
"What, forgotten how to speak or something?" Erik taunted.
"You're just not worth talking to," Kyle muttered.

Silence. Dead silence that lasted a good ten seconds. Kyle felt the blood drain from his face. He did not just say that. There was no way he was stupid enough to have just said that. Once they had taken that in rage, visible and hate-filled crossed Erik's face. In a lightning quick movement his fist connected with Kyle's cheek so hard that he fell to the ground. He could taste blood and he had to fight the impulse to spit it out.
"Well look at that," Lonnie said. "The little traitor has bite." She nodded to Erik and Cora who dragged him to his feet and held him still whilst Lonnie cracked her fists. People watched but no one did anything. Some seemed to be taking bets on how long it would take for him to cry. Given how much he had screwed up and how Lonnie was quite strong... probably not long.

"Woah! Guys! Let's break this up!" a familiar voice said. Scorpia rushed over. They listened, letting go of his arms. Kyle rubbed them. That was more bruises to add to his ever growing collection. "Lonnie, give him that back." It was weird seeing her be serious and listened to but it was also one of those moments that showed she was Force Captain for a reason. And, in his opinion, a better one than Catra. She understood you couldn't push people and do nothing else.

They did but Lonnie gave him a calculating look. One that said he would really be getting it later.

Scorpia gave him a friendly smile before dashing off to do some task for Catra. Kyle...was confused on how he felt about her. Sure she was nice some of the time but she had also jumped on the 'blame Kyle' trend. It wasn't fair, that time hadn't even been his fault.

He ate his ration bar although he didn't really have the appetite for it. His stomach churned and he felt sick. Then again most mornings he felt that way now.

Once he was done he headed to training, standing a bit away from Rogelio and Lonnie. Catra stood in front of them her expression icy with a cold calculating look on each of them.
"All of you are pathetic," she began. Her gaze landed especially on Kyle with that. "Out there you may be attacked by multiple princesses at once whilst engaged in combat. Today you will be doing one on one fights whilst bots are attacking you. Up first, Lonnie vs...Kyle."

Lonnie smirked at him. Kyle swallowed. Uh oh.

Still, he stepped forward, wishing he ate more often or had slept better. That would help him stand a chance...Well no. Not really. What they all said was right. He was weak.

Lonnie lunged with the charged weapon and he managed to dodge. She did a neat flip and landed slightly behind him, kicking him hard in the ribs. He was nearly knocked into a robot's blast but he scrambled up and dodged but he had lost his weapon. She came at him again and he side stepped but his back connected with a bot. He squeaked and quickly moved from another blast into the path of Lonnie who managed to get him in the side with the weapon sending a sharp volt of electricity in his side, sending him sprawling to the ground. For a moment black spots danced on his vision and he coughed violently as pain shot through his body.

Somehow he managed to get up. He could tell form the surprise on Lonnie's face that wasn't expected. Nor was him lasting as long as he had, even if it had only been a couple of minutes. She went at him with it again and he dodged, only to realise a second too late it had been a feign. Her fist connected with temple and foot with his chest, sending him head first into the bot with a painful crash.

He was vaguely aware of blood running down his head and his vision blurred again. He shakily lifted his hand to his head, fingers coming away red.
"...Didn't mean to hit him that hard," Lonnie muttered. She looked concerned for a split second but when she saw him looking at her she scowled. "You lose. Again."
"He always loses," Catra said, giving Kyle a baleful look. "At this point he's a meat shield for the Horde." Don't cry. Don't cry. Don't cry. "Kyle, watch Lonnie and Rogelio. Maybe you can learn something about not being entirely pathetic."

That hadn't worked in his entire lifetime but maybe it was worth at least a chance.