☀︎ his sunshine | chanlix

chap. 13

felix knocks on the white door of chan's apartment, scuff marks littering the paint. he waits outside the door, swaying where he stood in a slightly nervous way, not quite knowing what to do with himself. usually, he'd continue knocking until chan opened the door with a groan but, at the moment, felix was unaware of wether chan was still angry and the last thing he wanted to do was upset the older boy further. He played with the ring that adorned his finger to try and ease his nerves, gold with a sun printed on the band, matching with chan who had a silver one with a moon. he could do this, it was just chan, the man he had known since he was a kid.

when the door opened, felix looked up through his bangs to his best friend. chan looked, as nicely as possible, absolutely fucking awful. he had deep, purple bags under his eyes from a lack of sleep, his pale skin was impossibly paler, making him seem like a corpse. his hair was knotted and messy, his natural curls sticking up. felix pouted, it was clear chan was having a tough time and it pained him to see his bestfriend like that. with a small sigh, he stepped forward and wrapped his arms around the older boy, uncaring of the way stronger, bigger arms didn't hold him in return. "talk to me, channie. please." he pleaded, looking up at the boy who refused to look back down at him. "inside." the older replied shortly, coldly. fuck, did he really hate felix?

felix stepped back and wrapped his arms around himself as he followed chan inside the apartment, sitting down on the couch, his eyes trained on chan who moved slowly towards the couch, sitting down hesitantly, his tired eyes staring holes into the floor. "i just want to know what's bothering you, chris.." felix starts after the realisation that chan won't talk unprompted. "you haven't spoken to me since we smoked." the younger says with a slight whine to his words.

chan digs the heels of his palms into his eyes, shaking his head lightly as he mumbles a response, "you're going to hate me."
"i could never hate you.." was felix's reply, shuffling slightly closer, placing a hand on the elders back. finally, chan looks at felix, his bloodshot eyes connecting with the others sparkling ones. "remember when i pushed you off of my lap? i got hard.. because of you. and i don't know why but i decided it would be a great idea to jerk off in your bathroom. and the worse part is, i haven't stopped thinking about it since, it feels like every time i think about you i'm begging to get hard." he says with a dry chuckle, ripping his eyes away to stare at the ceiling. "fuck, felix. i'm sorry, i know i'm disgusting and perverted, i understand if you want nothing to do with me." he continues, it was obvious shame was eating him from the inside out but felix was at a loss for words, his mouth parting and closing in an attempt to say something. but not in the sense he was disgusted, in fact he was the opposite, the fact his attraction to chan is mutual at least to some capacity caused felix's brain to short-circuit and his heart to beat irregularly.

instead of words, felix takes a hold of chan's cheeks and tilts his head towards him, pressing his lips to the elders in a short peck, pulling back quickly. "i could never hate you.." he finally manages to say, dropping his hands, slightly embarrassed that that was his solution.

chan stares in shock, his mouth slightly agape. felix just kissed him??? sure, it was extremely short and chan didn't have any time to react, positively or negatively (although he knew for a fact he could never react in a negative way towards felix). and, this may be one of the most stupid decisions of chan's life, hell felix might be regretting the kiss more than he has ever regretted anything before but chan couldn't let this opportunity slip through his fingers, he had felix in his grasp and, as long as felix didn't refuse, chan wasn't going to let go. with a gulp, he cups felix's cheek and leans in, his slightly chapped lips brushing against felix's much softer lips.

realising felix isn't going to pull away, he pushes closer, connecting their lips fully, felix's strawberry chapstick coating chan's lips in an addictive way. if felix's lips were a drug, chan would be plummeting into addiction. he felt felix's hand slide up to rest at chan's shoulder, his fingers digging into the muscle slightly as their lips move together in sync. they fit perfectly together, like yin and yang, a harmony of gasps of air and fingers digging into skin, almost as if they were trying to become one.

chan's the one that pulls away first, bringing felix's lower lip in between his teeth as he does so, an attempt to get one last taste of his boy. "felix, i've liked you since we were kids. i've pushed it as far back as possible but i can't just keep on denying my feelings." chan confesses, his chest rising and falling rapidly.

felix looks at chan, a glimmer in his eyes. "i've liked you for as long as i can remember, channie. you've always been the most important person in my life though, so i never told you. i didn't want to lose you." felix replies with a blush, tearing his gaze away from chan.

"you could never lose me, my felix."

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hi.
not proofread i'm lazy
wc: 952