Erkenci Kuş: Bad For Me

Chapter 20: In Which Can and Sanem get married

Sanem's heart hammered in her chest as she sat in the waiting room of a therapist's office, the smell of coffee and leather wafting through the air. Can sat beside her, his hand covering hers in reassurance.

"Are you sure about this?" Sanem whispered, leaning closer to him.

He turned to look at her, his gaze warm and unwavering. "I'm positive. We've been through so much already, Sanem. I want to make sure we start our marriage on the strongest foundation possible."

Sanem nodded, her mind flitting back to all the obstacles they had overcome together - from their first meeting at the Opera House and subsequently at the agency to their tumultuous journey towards love. It was only fitting that they took this next step together as well.

The therapist's door opened and a middle-aged man with kind eyes beckoned them in.

As they stepped in, the door closed with a soft click, leaving Sanem and Can in a room that felt too sterile for the raw emotions they were there to unpack. The couch they sat on seemed to absorb their tension, its plush surface a stark contrast to the unease in their hearts.

"Shall we begin with discussing any apprehensions you have about marriage?" Dr Erol, the counsellor, offered, his pen poised over his notepad.

Sanem hesitated, exchanging a glance with Can before taking a deep breath and beginning to speak. "I think... it's whether I'll be enough to keep Can," she said quietly, her fingers tracing patterns on the fabric of the couch.

Dr Erol nodded thoughtfully, jotting down a few notes on his pad. "That's a valid concern," he said. "Can, what about you?"

Can ran his hands through his hair, his expression troubled. "Mine is about abandonment," he admitted. "Wondering whether I'll be enough for Sanem to stay."

Dr Erol nodded understandingly. "It sounds like you both have similar fears, but they manifest in different ways," he said. "Do you think these fears are rooted in your past experiences?"

Sanem and Can exchanged a look before nodding. Can spoke up again. "I've been left by everyone I loved before," he said. "I don't want to lose Sanem."

"I understand," Dr Erol said empathetically. "And Sanem, how about you."

Sanem's breath hitched as she struggled to hold back tears. "When Can abandoned me, it shattered my self-worth into a million pieces," she choked out through clenched teeth, her voice trembling with raw emotion. The pain of not feeling she was enough consumed her, leaving her hollow and broken inside.

Dr Erol leaned forward, his eyes filled with compassion. "Sanem, it's completely understandable to feel that way after such a traumatic experience," he said softly. "But it's important to remember that you are not defined by someone else's actions. You have inherent worth and value, independent of anyone else."

Can nodded, his eyes locked with Sanem's. "But we don't want our fears to define our future," he said firmly. "We want to work through them and build a strong foundation for our marriage."

Sanem nodded, tears slipping down her cheeks. "I know... intellectually," she said, her voice barely a whisper. "But emotionally, it's hard to shake off those feelings of inadequacy."

Dr Erol reached for a box of tissues on his desk and handed them to Sanem. "It takes time and healing to overcome that pain," he reassured her. "And Can, your fear of abandonment is also deeply rooted. It's important to find ways to address these fears together as a couple."

Can took a deep breath and looked at Sanem with determination in his eyes. "I don't want my past to dictate our future," he said firmly. "I'm willing to work on this and support each other through our fears."