Mindset Metamorphosis: Transforming Your Life Through Thought Mastery Mindset

Grief

Grief. A huge trauma, ruining lives, taking lives due to suicide or turning to drugs. It is a huge shift in a persons life, and yet we are expected to take a few weeks off of work and come back as normal.

Someone on reddit wrote a plea online stating: "my friend just died. I don't know what to do". I could easily resonate with this in the death of my father. He was and still is a huge part of who I am today. Everything I do I see him. I look in the mirror and I see him. He gave me his eyes, his hair, he even gave me my name. I am him and he is me. And yet, throughout his two very uncomfortable weeks of his body deteriorating Infront of me, I didn't shed a tear. I avoided seeing him, I didn't know what to do, as if there was something that I was supposed to do. Any death in my life I have experienced since, never hit me as hard as maybe they should of, I already lost my most important person. I wish I could say you get used to people dying, the truth is you don't. and somehow, I don't want to either. It will always tear me up when someone dies, but it always takes me back to my father. I've lost friends, relatives, work colleagues, grandparents, aunts and uncles, students, and even a cousin. I cant imagine the pain it is to lose a child however, but here is my two cents on grief.

Although painful, you must go through it. Every scar it causes, every tear you shed, shows that there was love. It should not be something that just passes. My scars are a testament to love and to be loved. If the scar was deep, so was the love. So be it. Be loved. Love hard. We can't live in fear that the person we love is going to die before us and we will suffer. We all die, it is inevitable. We deserve to love hard in the short life we have. It is a gift. The scars are a testament that we can love and live truly and deeply. We can be cut, gouged and ripped apart, but we can heal, continue to love and continue to live. Scars are a testament to life. As for frief, it comes in waves. When the ship is wrecked, you feel like you are drowning. No one can hear you or see you. Its dark and cold. You can see all the wreckage around you. Everything around you is reminding you of how perfect it used to be, how they were. And all you can do is float around it, and just, exist. Everynow and then, you use a piece of the wreckage to cling onto, maybe a physical gift they gave you, an picture or a memory. For a while, that's all you do, hang onto it and float.

At the start, the waves of the ocen are 100 feet tall, and when they come, you feel you are drowning all over again, they crash on you without mercy. They are 10 seconds apart, and you never think you will breathe again. After a while, maybe weeks or months, the waves might still be 100 feet tall, but they come further apart. They still crash all over you, and you still just hang on, and float. But inbetweeen them, you can breathe, you can function. You never know whats going to trigger the wave, could be an anniversary, a the smell of strong black coffee. The waves keep coming, but there is life inbetween. Somewhere, later on, the waves get smaller and smaller, and you know you will breathe again. They come further apart as they get smaller and smaller. Sometimes you can see them coming, maybe before Christmas in my experience anyway. You see it coming, and most of the time youb can prepare yourself, but avoiding them is never the answer. You must face them. But this time you know you will come out of them, soaking wet, still hanging onto wreckage, but you come out.

In my case, and everyones really, the waves never stop coming, and you don't want them to either. It shows the love is still there, not forgotten. They still live within you. You know you will survive them, and other waves will come and you will survive them too, and if you are lucky, you will have lots of loves, lots of scars, and lots of shipwrecks.