Its been years now, all tears gone dry but my heart remained scarred.
My ignorance in love poisoned my heart and alter the beats of it.
Those nights I sleep with marionette on my lips, with the thought of being loved by the same person until the very end. Those were like dreams that I romanticized, dreams I believe could happen— I'se wrong.
Sometimes, we believe that we made our dreams walk into reality, forgetting how cruel reality is. The world enjoys watching us being hurt by our own joy.
I sheltered myself for years.
This time, I am confronting pain and will bring happiness. I am ready to fix the broken vessel I made of, so that I could move forward with happiness in my heart.
It's him— Joe, walking in the aisle.
I wanna congratulate him, pat him in the back and say "Congratulations! You're gonna be a husband!" with a wide smile.
But I can't— yet.
"If the world is about to meet its end, I want my last memories be with you. Your face is the last memory that I'd like to see everytime I close my eyes." His vow brings deja vu, those were the same exact words he told me.
"Love" He looked at me, his eyes glitters like before. Then he looked back at his bride.
"It's you that I always wished..." His voice cracks and he gently looked at me again.
"Mia..." I can't watch the entirety of the wedding, so I get out of the church and cry outside. I wanna go home, the scene, the ambiance, and the thought of this event is killing me from within.
"Rico" It still gives me butterflies. His voice still a music to my ears.
I looked at him and gently smile.
"Thank you for coming" I am not sure if I am seeing joy or pain in his eyes, but his lips twitched like someone about to cry.
"Thanks for the invitation, Joe" Pilit kong itinatago ang sakit na aking nararamdaman, ngunit hindi ko na kaya. My tears already run through my cheeks like water of the flowing river.
"I love you" The moment I utter those words, I knew that would equal to goodbye.
He never say a word, he just hugged me.
"I am still in love with you, Rico" I know those words. Those were only meant to comfort me.
"No, I want you to let go of your love from me." I said, he looked at me with tears in his eyes.
"Those memories we make are gifts we gave for each other. It's not a torment to remember. I want you to go forth and love the gal you chose. She's a precious soul and a fragile vessel of heart." I added
"It is still you, Rico" He said then tried to kiss me.
I closed my eyes and softly pushed him away.
"Please..."
"I am happy we met... "
"But please don't be selfish to her. Love her not the way you love me. I want you to love her the way she deserves and treat her like the man he ever imagined. Marami na ang nagbago, marami na ang nangyari but you'll always be a part of me no matter what. I've moved on, but it does not happen overnight, it takes to be completely broken to move on bits by bits— but I am fine now."
I don't know how to look into his eyes, and bid a permanent goodbye. So, I just turn around and walk on my way far from him. The moment I reached the end of the corridor, I knew this will be the last time that I will see him.
The last time, our eyes could possibly meet and the last time we're not a stranger with each other. Because, the next time we'll ever met, we will now be a known stranger.
"If we ever met again, that time— we're no longer a lover, we are just known strangers with shared memories."
I loved him and will still be loving him, but our story ends where it is meant to be.
