I could just lie here ....Say it's Okay When I want to rip all the doors off this place set it on fire and just walk away So I can feel anything else but this weight ....Cause I let you in when u needed space and you crossed the line when I pushed you away how could youuuuu ,HOW COULD YOU" -Jessie Murph comes to mind when I go over my life I can't think of one person who was ever really there for me but my boyfriend I always go above I always go beyond and mfers wouldn't even run to me.I spend most of my days high aaf numb asf mind gone because when I sit and think I cry when I fuss back and forth my mind obsesses .I can never say idc about any situation I've ever been in because I gave every situation all of me I cared more then a lot of people and I regret no situation meeting my baby fathers?nah The manipulation the rape the lies I learned so much I needed them tears I needed to have a reason to be grateful of all the little things .I battle with myself everyday about picking the wrong men tho my daughter will never be that true daddy's girl with her twin she will never be stuck at his leg she will never see the big headed nigga I seen at kasa the sweet nigga who kept throwing paper balls at my chair until I gave him my number who was there when I didn't feel myself I hate that for my baby .To my son he will never experience seeing me get beat the fuck up seeing me cry because I'm getting cheated on over and over again .I love that for him ....His father wasn't all bad but the bad out weighed the good for sure .Ive contemplated Suicide I've wanted to run I've wanted to just escape the thought still crosses my mind but I will never leave what I created.The difference between me and my baby father is He announced when he got me hit this don't call for no announcement be well until your not !
