piecewise | g/t snippets & drabbles

all in (multi/f) | snippet #6

[You scared of me, Mr. Jones?]

The man with the yellow tie chuckled nervously. [Don't worry Jonesy, I don't bite~]

He cleared his throat, ignoring the miniature contestant in favor of the camera lens a ways away from their faces. "Welcome to Size-"

[At least, not at first!]

He gulped, his face reddening by the second. Claudette giggled as he stumbled past the introduction, kicking her feet up as he recovered:

"Size N' Sides!"

[Sounds like a restaurant, doesn't it?] She asked the camera nearest her, and was surprised to find her face and comment live on the broadcast.

"Of course," the host recovered, and Claudette cursed at his ability to improvise, "but this isn't your average kitchen! Today we'll be sliding these side pieces to Claudette for 7 lightning rounds worth of speed dates."

[Mmm mmm MM!!!] She said, being sure to savor the imaginary taste as James Jones's eyes widened. [I can already taste the fresh meat now!]

"A-anyways," he tried, the borrower noticing the beads of sweat on his brow and hands. "Let's bring out the contestants!"

She swiveled in her golden chair, eye-ing the gargantuan entrance as it made way for her potential love interests. If she were completely honest, she was more into messing with James for the night, but what better way to torment him than to torment his guests, too? She grinned evilly as Contestant #1 stepped into the limelight.

"Name's Adam," he said, and there was a puff of arrogance with it. Her smirk only widened. Fresh meat. "28, home inspector, and ready to wreck your walls."

[Love the enthusiasm.] She said, rolling her eyes a bit. [But don't think your vertical advantage does anything for you down there.]

He blushed, and instantly Claudette felt a bit more at ease. Despite her excitement for torment, it was hard to forget that these people literally towered over her. Befriending the crew definitely helped her chances, but if the giant had reacted aggressively toward his emasculation, this episode would hands down be one for the books. Adam sat down in one of the five silver seats, occasionally catching her eye with a boy-ish grin.

[Next caller!] She said, tapping the mic that was close to her face.

"Hey," a voice called, and she was surprised to see a taller man attached to the shyness. He was tall even by human standards, but the awkwardness gave Claudette room to play still. "I'm Yoseph, but you can call me...yours."

[Corny.] She dismissed, then remembered her objective. [But your aura intrigues me. Guess those lines are still used for a reason, huh?]

He stammered, and Claudette grinned back. Easy as Sunday morning, she thought to herself, already sensing the tension that grew thick between Yoseph and Adam. Leaning further into her chair, she waited for the giant of a man to plop next to Adam to call for the next.

"Hi Cee!" A man said, grinning far too wide for Claudette's tastes. "I'm Aries, and I heard we were written in the stars."

[How can you hear writing?] She teased, doing little to deter Aries's smile. [You and Yoseph will have to brawl for the cornball title, but I'm pretty sure Adam's not rooting for either of you.]

"Damn straight," Adam said, looking more relaxed by the second. Guess he got over that quick. Claudette thought, her smile returning a bit wider. 

[Although...] she teased, leaning in the direction of the host, [I wouldn't object to a certain Jones making that call for us instead.]

Her satisfaction only doubled when Mr.Jones looked like he wanted to be anywhere but on set, his eyes bugged out until he internally calmed down enough to remember where he was. Claudette suppressed a giggle as he called for the next contestant, not even waiting for Aries to sit down to go through them all.