Fire and Ice

Chapter Four

A couple of hours into my impromptu birthday party and I was already buzzed. No matter how many times I said no to Jade, she begged until I took a shot with her. And then she did it again and again and by this point, I was four shots of soju in. My body felt warm, not only from the alcohol, but also because there were currently nineteen people occupying this space and it was starting to show.

Seungmin and Jongho were singing a ballad together, their laughs filling the air every time Jongho got the lyrics wrong due to the amount of alcohol he had consumed. San, Wooyoung, Changbin, and Felix were horsing around. Minho and Jisung were eating while Hyunjin watched Seungmin and Jongho. Mingi had stepped out to use the restroom and Yunho was talking to Bonnie, Jade, and Jeongin. Chan and Hongjoong were deep in conversation in the corner. They both had their phones out and I saw them look at each other's devices from time to time.

Seonghwa was just chilling by himself and watching things unfold. Typical Mom status, if you ask me. San was nowhere to be seen and Yeosang left an hour ago due to being sore. I don't know why. He didn't elaborate and I didn't ask. This was my first time hanging out with an idol group and as excited as I was, I was not going to ask any questions. If they want to tell me, they will.

I took the moment to step outside and get some fresh air. I will admit, having everyone here and celebrating my birthday was nice but I couldn't help but think about the reason I don't usually do anything on this day.

When I was nine years old, we were living in America and there was this girl I was close to. She was my best friend. We were practically joined at the hip. We did everything together and when I say everything, I mean everything. She was my platonic soulmate. The day of my tenth birthday, her family was on their way to my house when they got into a car accident. None of them survived the crash and after that day, I vowed to never celebrate my birthday. Anytime the topic comes up, I change the subject and I never tell anyone when it is.

Thinking about the connection I lost killed me. Losing her changed me and I'm sure it wasn't for the better. After that, my parents started treating me differently. A few months after she died, my parents moved us to Korea, and we've been here since.

I had been sitting on a bench outside for about ten minutes when I felt someone slide onto the bench next to me. I wiped the tears off my face before looking up and gasping lightly. Chan sat next to me with his focus forward. He didn't say anything and neither did I. What was there to say? He didn't like me, and I didn't like him. Simple as that.

I didn't need any bullshit from him, so I stood up and went to walk away. Before I could take another step, Chan grabbed my arm and turned me around to look at him. He didn't look at me as he dropped his hand.

"Happy birthday," he grumbled, his eyes still focused on anything but me. I sucked my teeth, "Thanks."

I turned to walk away yet again but was stopped by his voice. "Are you okay?" he asked softly. I looked at him as if snakes suddenly sprouted from his head. This is new.

"Uh, yeah. Peachy," I breathed as I looked at him. Chan nodded his head but didn't respond so I walked back to the booth. When I walked in, everyone was still doing the same things except Hongjoong was now singing and dancing with San and Jongho and Seungmin were seated, a bottle of water in their hands as they watched the two older males perform.

I walked over to Jade, who was now talking with Jeongin about how hot she thought Jisung was.

"Yeah, yeah, I get it, noona," Jeongin spoke as he waved her off before turning to me and giving me a concerning look.

"Are you okay?" he asked, and I had to hold in my annoyance at being asked again.

"I'm fine, Innie," I answered before turning to Jade, who was drunk as fuck by the way, and saying, "Jisung is hot, though."