When Emma Falls In Love

𝟬𝟳. 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗚𝗿𝘂𝗱𝗴𝗲

( Emma's POV )

In any good old fashioned Disney Princess Tale you'll find that the story starts off with Once upon a time and ends with Happily Ever After, but what happens in between the two? I like to think that life as I know it currently is the bridge in between. I'm endlessly hoping and yearning for that Happily Ever After to come real soon. After all, I'm almost seventeen and 2024 doesn't feel so faraway like it used to four years ago.

'You're On Your Own, Kid' blasted from my headphones I placed back on my head gently. I was supposed to be studying for my English Exam, which will be held tomorrow for fourth period, yet instead I was listening to my Spotify playlist while scrolling through my notifications on Wattpad. Yeah, I know I should seriously be studying instead of vibing to my favorite songs and reading Rini fanfiction, but let's just say I can't help it.... Damn my short attention span when it comes to school work.

Honestly, my true calling lies in songwriting. That's what I like and that's what I'm meant to do in life. I love music so much, I just referenced a Bruno Mars song to prove how much I adore music. I even managed to rhyme, thanks to my songwriting skills I've developed since I was twelve years old.

'You're On Your Own, Kid' reminds me an awful lot of myself. Taylor Swift has done it once again and released another relatable song for me to sob at 3 am. It also doesn't help that in my household, I really am on my own. However, thanks to Taylor, I'm reminded that everything I lose is a step I take. 

Not only that, but to keep and savor all the friendships made and to never forget to live in the moment. At the end of the day, I've got no reason to be afraid cause I know that I can face this. I can do it! There goes my inner Rose The Riveter. Would it be weird or awkward that my mind literally lol-ed at that dry joke? I've lost my funny juice these days, it's quite tragic.

" Emma, get over here and get dinner started already! " My mom called out from the living room, which was right next door to my room. I hesitated to even answer back due to the fact that these days things between us have become so tense.

 Exactly, what do I say to the one person who is the reason I endure emotional pain on a daily basis? Am I supposed to just put on a fake smile and pretend that that toxic behavior is totally okay? Well, that's the show I put on for her every single day, or else it could all be worse than already it is. I much rather suffer internally then put up with more bullshit. There's only so much I can handle and sometimes I feel like I might combust from bottling all the emotional abuse in.

" Emma, what the fuck are you doing that you won't get started on dinner? " She bellowed in the same angry tone that sends petrified shivers down my spine. " Please don't tell me that you have another stupid boyfriend already. "

There she goes again, being heteronormative, assuming that the reason I spend so much time on my phone is cause of a boy, when in reality it's someone else who makes my heart skip down 16th Avenue. I guess you could say that she's unaware of my pansexuality, all for good reason. I wouldn't want to deal with any snark remarks that would trigger my internalized panphobia anyways...

I'm basically just 'out' to my friends at school, but not really to my family. I know that makes no sense and being 'out' at school is a bad idea right? Well it's not like my mom is actually homophobic and the rest of my family is generally chill with LGBQT+. I'm simply just not ready to come out to them yet, that's all. I also fear that my mom wouldn't understand my pansexuality and deem it as false and not legit.

She's one of those people who thinks the only two genders in the world are male and female. She once rudely made a comment on the term 'Latinx' and Gen Z putting the X at the end to make it modern is 'stupid'. She seems to be oblivious to the fact that other gender identities besides Women and Men exist. Or maybe she just refuses to believe so. Only God knows what goes on in that woman's mind.