Special? Fuck Off He's Autistic

Im going to hell.

Logan wakes every night now,  complaining about his back, neck, eyes, butt, tummy ect.

"Mickey!" Logan sits up sobbing and rubbing his eyes

"Huh?....wha? Fuck sake." I sit up turning my lamp on.

"Tummy hurted, hurted lots." He sobs spitting everywhere.

"Aww poor logey." I say in a ridiculously high baby voice, logan doesn't have the social cues to know I'm mocking him but I place him in my lap nonetheless.

"Yeah....poor...logey." Logan sobs harder in self pity.
I stroke his little belly.

I would take any excuse to rub his tummy, it's so chubby but he hates his belly. He was quite malnourished as a teen and when I started feeding him right he gained a little belly, he was once super into the gym but he got obsessed with it, more obsessed with how much weight he was losing than the activities so I stopped it.

It's harder now than ever to get logan to be active as he's a little lazy shit now, all he wants to do now is cuddle and go to the Cafe. Well, I'm exaggerating a bit, logan has a fair bit of separation anxiety from his dad coming and going and his mom not even being there so he never wants to leave me, and I don't go to the gym, fuck that.

But logans not just rotting in bed all day, and no way does he own an iPad, he owns a phone but abusingly I have parental control on it as people with autism can very easily become dependent on them for stimulation.
Logan does work his little butt off, constantly with his label and team, and when he's at home he runs around the back yard and plays, he can swim, no idea where he learned but he can and it scares the fuck outta me as I can't swim.

I'm like a plate in the sink, I sink.

But logan runs around and does "hunts" which is causing genocides to ant hills or spiders. logan is always jumping around the house I don't think he knows how to walk, he skips and bashes through things.

I cradle logan, cupping his tummy, usually he slaps his hand away but he let's me stay looking up at me, his big blue watery eyes studying everything, I can tell he's focused on something as his mouth is wide open.

"You're staring at that one pimple aren't you?" I try to joke but logan doesn't respond.

He then goes to poke my eye but I stop him.
"Hey! You're gonna make mickey blind!" I laugh and criss cross my legs.

"Sammy go?" Logan suddenly snaps out of his trance.
"You're really not happy, huh baby?" I was never gonna let Sammy just go, logan had to acclimate to things too, but logan deserves to be at ease.

"We will see what happens ok?" I stroke he cheek and watch his eyes droop asI kiss his little face and lay him in bed, covering him with the blanket.

His tummy was indeed not sore.

Three hours later.

I can't sleep, my back HURTS like a motherfucker so I go out to have a smoke.

At my second cigarette I hear a pitter patter behind me.
"How the fuck do you always know I'm smoking?" I say and turn around to see Sammy.

"Oh hey, buddy whats wrong? Is cold!" I say smiling at him.

"Hello." He says in his usual monotone voice.

I take logans coat off and wrap it around Sammy.

"There! Nice and toasty, huh bud?"

"Yes."

"Oh ok..whats keeping you up?"
"The moon."

"Oh.." I smirk
"The moon used to keep me up when I first moved here too." I chuckle at our likeness and hoist Sammy onto a pot so he could see over the balcony.

"This is one of those things you need a stool for Sam." I ruffle his hair and hear logan wake up.

"M..mickey!" Logan shouts urgent.

"Where the fuck do you think I am?" I shout whisper and logan comes out looking like a basketball player.

"Hey honey." I say as I lean my head on logan.

"Hey." Logan holds the back of my head.

"Gimme that." Logan screeches his voice stealing my smoke.

"Hey! He has my coat!" Logan says, in a much better mood.

"Hmm...it's fine.." I say, much more tired now as logan holds me.

"Why act like girl and boy?" Sammy asks
In the most monotone voice.

"Oh." Logan manages to say.

"Uhm." I wake.

"Because...me and your dad are boyfriend and boyfriend." I say like it's no big deal when it actually is.

"Husband's! You prick!" Logan swats my head.

"Oh shit! Yeah uhmm why do you ask Sammy?" I say feeling dumb as fuck.

"Why?" His voice not so monotone.

"Look! Mickeys about to fall asleep! Shhhh, shhhh" Logan picks me up like I'm a baby and places me gently on the bed, covering my face because I'm laughing.

"Time for bed! Let's go Sammy!"Logan picks Sammy up, his 16 year old son, so keep that in mind.

When logan returns he massages my back.

"Does it really hurt?" He says as he kisses it tenderly.

"Hhmm..fuck..yeah hurts like shit, gonna...fuck! Careful there logan." I shout hitting logans face out of habit of hitting faces.

"Ow!" Logan holds his cheek, tearing up.

The damage is already done, and logan has triggered some sort of anger issue I have.

"Fuck off logan! You have no reason to cry." I say angrily, watching his sad confused face just sink under the blanket makes me more angry, at myself.

I get up and leave, as to not make logan even more sad. I do that sometimes, one thing can tick me off that makes me have a reaction, like getting physically hurt and it embarrasses me, making me take it out on logan to embarrass him so I'm not feeling so bad.

I'm going to hell.