Queen of Shadows - Azriel

Chapter 4: The Surprise

Trigger Warning: suicidal thoughts, violence

I trudge back to my room limping still. I had been forced to fight tonight. Yet unlike the past 10 months, it wasn't a volunteer fighting me. All these arrogant fae have been so eager to come down and defeat the weak little girl but all failed miserably. It's not my fault they can't predict my fighting style.

Though a few did come close to besting me with their magic. The closet was some disaster of a male from autumn. The high lord's second son was so eager to prove himself and after seeing my winning streak he thought I would be the opportunity. By the time he had lost a hand and I had backed into the corner, I had some minor burns on my arms but I didn't kill him like all the others. His older brother jumped into the pit and threw a fireball. I tried to dodge but he was too fast and I now have an ugly burn covering the majority of my thigh.

I don't blame him. I would have done the same for Bellamy. But Amarantha, she cared. He had dared interrupt her little game, her entertainment. The younger brother was spared though one less hand. The older brother, who I now know as Eris, he was taken to the dungeons and wasn't seen again for a week. Or so they say, I've been stuck in bed in agony only hearing gossip from servants bringing food. I was stuck until tonight when she forced me back out.

I lucked out in some ways that my opponent tonight was forced against me. They were just fae with no training whom Amarantha wanted dead. I didn't bother to learn why they were being punished. I don't think it would have helped. With my leg how it is, I would have died going against an experienced fighter.

But in other ways, this was the worst fight I had. I lost another part of myself. I would have thought after the dark years I had already done the worst thing I'd ever do. Tonight, though, I killed a fae female cowering in front of me crying. It is so much easier to kill arrogant assholes. They wanted to come down here and I didn't have a choice. I either fight and kill or I die. And now I'm not sure I want to fight. Is the happiness promised truly worth the pieces of my soul?

I had finally made it to my room. After every successful fight, I get another little luxury added. I'd gotten the room first, then a bed, then a bath, and eventually other little things like soap. Last Saturday was the only night I didn't. In some sick way, I was hopeful for what it might be.

I opened the door and groaned. I had a brand new settee. I also had an asshole High Lord lounging on my settee reading a book.

Rhysand didn't even look up, "Oh don't groan I think it's quite comfortable." I just rolled my eyes and continued in. So far I was only really forced to deal with him at parties. I get he helped me a little when I first arrived but I'm not in the mood for his arrogance gith now.

"Why are you here?" I ask through gritted teeth. I just wanted to come back to my room and cry for a few hours.

Rhysand finally put the book down. A smirk forms on his lips and I swear his eyes sparkled with mischief. Internally I let out another grown. "If you're going to be from my court we need to solidify some more of your backstory."

I roll my eyes and walk to my bathroom to get undressed. "Haven't we been through this enough? My name is Octavia, I'm the granddaughter of honorable General Octavius. General Octavius was the first General of the Illyrian armies to serve your father High Lord Cronas. He perished during the last war and left behind only a daughter. The daughter is my mother, Alya, and she married and moved to Ravenswood from Windhaven. Ravenswood is very remote and that is why no one knows of me. Since Cronas only had a daughter he trained her to fight and she trained me. The Illyrians are in general sexist pigs. Did I miss anything? You made it pretty damn detailed."

I walked back out clean of blood in only a loose tunic. I just cross my arms and stand in front of him waiting. "Very good don't think we need to add anything else right now. But I do need to teach you how to shield your mind so no one finds out we're lying" Rhysand says smirking at me.

"As in to keep fae from doing whatever it is you do to annoy me in my head?" I question.

Rhysand just gave me an annoyed look, "Yes."

Now it was my turn to smirk. "Perfect I've been wanting you out of my head." I cross the room and sit on my bed criss-cross facing him. "How do I start?"

"Well lucky for us you already have some strong walls you just aren't aware of them" Rhysand begins.

"Aware of them," I ask.

"Yes I assume you made them unconsciously and that's why you aren't aware of them but I can sense them. But since you weren't actively guarding your mind I'm able to slip through the cracks. Once you become aware you can learn to sense other's presence, fill cracks, and trap people inside." Rhysand explained. "Now reach out to the farthest corners of your mind and try to feel for them."

I did as he asked. It was kind of weird trying to attempt but I just try to quiet my thoughts. Then I get this mental picture of a cave. The cave opening in front of me was covered by a boulder door and out a thick forest. I can Rhysand on the other side of the forest calling out to my mind "Now I'm outside your overly extensive walls. Most people just have like just a wall of stone, not a cave and a forest. Your unconscious is a diva."

"Your conscious is a drama queen. Just teach me." I grumble to him aloud. He just chuckles and continues explaining. God, he had me arguing like a child. He continued teaching me for a couple more hours.

"I'll give you a break for now before your headache gets too bad. But I do have something for" Rhysand says standing up from the settee. He just held out his hand and suddenly a little jar appeared. I managed only to blink instead of flinch when it appeared. Magic still unnerves me at times. I'm never expecting it.

"It a healing salve specifically for burns" Rhysand starts some shyly. Probably the only time I've seen him close to shy. He continues, "A close friend of mine needed to use it for a while but he said it helped him a lot." Rhysand then had a look of realization and kind of chuckled looking up, "Although since he was not that talkative at the time it is just as likely he was just so grateful for my Mother's help he just told her whatever he thought she wanted to hear."

A smile graced my lips. It was sweet to hear him talk about his friend with so much love. "Well I'm hoping for the first one but maybe it's both."

Rhysand looks at me with a rare real smile "Me too."

It wasn't until he left that I realized why he really came. He came to distract me from the past few hours of pain. I think it might have worked. Maybe I'll fight one more week. 

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I hope y'all enjoy! Remember just fight one more week.