Call It What You Want To - Style

04. King's Bar and Grill

Gossip in a small town gets around fast, so Kenny is only a little surprised to hear Bebe tell him that Annie heard from Red, who heard from Lola, who heard from Nichole, who heard from Jenny, who heard from Jenny's younger sister, who heard from Jenny's sister's friend, who heard from Kyle's little brother, Ike, that Stan and Kyle are "totally boyfriends" (whether that's Ike's word or Bebe's he's not sure) and kissed in Kyle's bedroom. That's the part that surprises him most: they're fake dating, and yet they're kissing? Alone? Bebe says that Ike said they're going on a date after school at that new hotspot restaurant called King's Bar and Grill. Really, he hadn't expected Stan to listen to him. He was only half serious when he suggested it. As soon as he hears this, though, he knows he needs to find Eric.

When the bell for the beginning of the last period rings, he pulls out his phone.

Kenny McCormick: Bathroom right now.

Instead of turning down the hall for physics, he goes the opposite way and heads towards the men's restrooms. On the way there, he passes Stan, who was presumably getting to class late from walking Kyle to his. Stan looks at him and Kenny can see a little thought bubble pop up above his head wondering why Kenny isn't going to class, but he keeps walking and takes a sharp turn into the bathroom.

When he walks through the door, Eric is already there waiting. "Dude," Eric says as soon as he hears the door creak. "Stan and Kyle fucking kissed."

Kenny nods sharply and repeatedly, unzipping and throwing his parka hood off. "Yeah!" he says, mouth open wide and eyes wider. "And," he says, "they're going on a date tonight!"

Eric's jaw hits the floor. "What?!" he exclaims and the noise bounces against the walls of the confined space. "They're going on a date ?!" He looks like someone just killed his family in front of him the way he's so shocked.

"Yeah, at King's," Kenny says. He hoists himself up onto the sink countertop, feet dangling over the edge. Eric is still sitting there in shock. "You didn't know?"

Eric unfreezes, crossing his arms. "Kevin's fake ass didn't fucking tell me," he mutters, shoulders tense and hands digging into his own arms. "That dick !" He leans his shoulders back and throws his backpack on the ground with a loud thud.

"I told Stan that they should go on a date," Kenny says. He kicks his feet back and forth absentmindedly. "I was kinda kidding, but..." he trails off, letting the sentence finishing itself with a shrug. Eric leans against the wall and slides down it, now sitting on the floor. He's staring at his hands and chewing the side of his mouth. Kenny can tell he's thinking. For the first time , he jokes to himself.

All of a sudden, Eric's head whips up. "Dude." He looks at Kenny, eyes lit up. "You know what we gotta do now, right?"

Kenny's head tilts. "What?"

Eric leans in, seriously. "We have to fucking spy on their date," he says, darkly.

"Wait, really?" Kenny pushes himself off of the countertop and grabs at his backpack straps. Eric picks up his own off the floor.

"Get Craig and those guys," he nods. Kenny realizes that most of the time Eric spent thinking was planning for this stupid movie cliche of an exit, because Eric takes a hold of the doorknob before looking over his shoulder and saying, "We have a mission to commence." He leaves and Kenny lets the door close behind him before he bursts out laughing.

"Do we really have to do this?" Craig asks as the boys slip into the waiting area of King's Bar and Grill. "If Stan and Kyle are dating, it's really none of our business," he says.

They'd figured that 5:30 would be a good time for a date, so Kenny, Eric, Craig, Jimmy, Tolkien, and Clyde crammed themselves into Eric's tiny sports car that he had begged his mother for and made their way to the restaurant.