Chapter I

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Life. Living. Breathing. Eating. Sleeping. It's all tiring. I hate it all. I get tired. I get unmotivated. I feel like drowning in a sea, and never being found. The world has its way, with humans, but does it really? Or is it all in our heads? You know I was living life, until I started taking pills for fun.

Fun? For Fun? Yes fun. I don't know why I thought it was fun, but I got addicted I felt like Rue in euphoria. I don't want to end up like her. I ruined my life with one little pill. Size of a smarties. I don't know why. I don't. I want to know why.

Why Lisa? Why? Why did you have to take that pill. You fucked up your life.

I know. I hear these voices in my head, I feel like they're real people talking to me.

Now here I am at a strangers house, hiding from my best friend.

Let's just say my best friend Elise is a killer. She killed my boyfriend, now she wants to kill me.

Lisa just run away to another state or country even.

I have no money to run cause I spent it all on drugs. I spent it all on drugs. Drugs. Drugs. Drugs. It's all I want. It's all that pleases me.

Why? Why does it please you? I don't know, I wish I did.

I will never understand why Elise wants to kill me, but I do know that I could get away.

But my only way of getting away is talking to my mom.

I moved out when I was 18 to live with Elise. Now I'm 19 basically homeless and moneyless.

When I moved out me and my mom had just gotten into an argument. I haven't spoken to her since.

It's been a year, and I still haven't called her.

I don't know how I will ever get the guts to call her.

Now this man that I'm staying with. He is rich, and 21. He is a little old, but my plan is to steal his money.

How will I do that? I'm not sure, but I'm good at turning I'm not sure into a master plan.

I was laying in bed, and this man finally comes upstairs with breakfast made for me.

I always think maybe I want to marry this man and move across the world with him, but I still want to go back to my mom.

Maybe I don't want his money,but his love. He is sweet. Funny. Kind. Wonderful personality.

I think I love him, but I'm not sure yet. Hint I'm not sure yet!

"Good morning my love!" He said with his French accent. "Good morning Jay!" I said as he kissed me.

Kissing? I know yes I kiss, but it's all part of my master plan on if I decide to steal this man's money. Oh and yes he is from France, he does business in California though. He has lived in France since he was about 4, and came to the states when he was 20. So he has a strong accent.

"What are your plans for today?" He asked. "Well I was thinking about doing a self maintenance day!" I replied. "Oh I love these days, je ne peux pas attendre," he said. translation: can't wait. "Je vous aime." I replied. Translation: and I love you.

I know a little bit of French, because my mom is Haitian, and she speaks Creole and french, which are both very similar.

He left the room, and got into the shower. I sat in bed and ate my breakfast and watched some tv, before I went into the shower.

*buzz buzz* Jays phone was going off. As I thought about telling him I realized that this was my chance to see what he be up to.

I tap the phone screen so I could see the notification bar, and just as it popped up a text from some chick named Céline popped up.

I couldn't see the text of course, but the name sounds French so I'm assuming it's a family member, but I was thinking about confronting him.

I heard the shower turn off. I quickly placed the phone back where it was, and headed into the shower.

As I walked past him, he said, "unfortunate that you didn't join moi in the douche." He said with a sudden giggle.

"I guess I just wasn't up for it," I responded with attitude.

As I showered I couldn't stop thinking about that Céline chick.

I just wanted to know who she was.

I got out the shower, and did my body care then put my robe on.

"Mon amuor why do you seem so upset?" He asked seeming genuinely concerned.

"I just have a lot on my mind," I replied. "Talk to me what's up?" He asked.

In this moment I wasn't sure if I wanted to tell him what was really going on, or lie.

"Well your phone went off, and I was going to tell you, but I took a peek and seen some girl texted you, and her name was Céline." I said. "Oh," he said laughing. "Mon amuor that's my cousin," he said laughing some more.

I felt so embarrassed. I just wanted to punch him in his face, because he was laughing at me.

"I feel so embarrassed. I'm so sorry," I replied.
"Don't be I understand you don't want a cheater," he said giving me a kiss on the forehead as he walked out the room.

I didn't want to see Jays face ever again. Of course I'm kidding! That's my man for life!

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⏰ Last updated: Feb 08 ⏰

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