my heartbreak

my secret

your under my skin and in my blood you can barely say anything and it could make me smile or cut me deep... You have no idea what control you have over me... I look at me and you, not seeing why you would ever give me a chance... Then I think maybe its all a cruel trick you are playing on me for a quick laugh... You make jokes but those jokes hurt... Are they really jokes or are you telling the truth... Telling me im pretty and beautiful but im not... Why do you worm your way into my heart if your only going to break me...

Im scared of losing you, I look at you and try so hard to find flaws so I could hate you or dislike you even a little bit... but I cant hate you..everything I see makes me fall for you even harder... I dream of being with you in your arms forever... cant sleep unless your curled by my side, your arms wrapped around me. I give you all of me, doing everything I can to make you happy only to get your back... You are holding the knife in one hand and my heart in the other, will you protect it or slice it to pieces like the rest before you.. Are you different I want to think bad of you that you will cheat and break me but you make me feel so safe..

I trust you and im not sure why, you have all the power to destory the very person I am. When I look into your eyes I see home, I feel safe. Are my fears well placed or am I trying to find a reason for me to push you away.. I want you to want me the way I want you.. I can honestly say I have never felt this way towards another person.. Im so scared you will drop me, that you will break my heart and soul. You dont judge you dont care about my past and that is comforting... Please dont hurt me I cant take the pain that will come from you turning away from me. You have a pull that pulls me towards you all I want to do is be with you.. You push me away , you say you care, you say you dont want to hurt me, you say you wont dump me.. Yet you still hold all the power...