one hundred sleepless nights // joel & alex

chapter 5

Alex's pov

on the plane, everyone is either listening to music with eyes closed or they're sleeping. there's no babies crying but there's a few people talking, so it's not dead silence here.

Niko is heavily sleeping besides me and i don't understand how he has the ability to sleep with a blink of an eye. Joonas too.

i don't have insomnia like Joel and i never took one sleeping pill in my life, but i can't sleep so fast. sometimes it takes me 10 minutes and other times, i find myself drifting off to sleep in half an hour.

funny thing how me and Joel are the only ones awake of our friends. i watch him angry pealing off a banana and taking a bite. i once read that eating bananas on an airplane can help you sleep. he rests his head back on the chair, closing his eyes in the process.

i balance my head on my hand, letting the music take me away. people don't think you can fall asleep to metal music, but i can confirm you that's wrong. right now, not even white noise would help.

i turn to catch Joel staring at me. he's put the banana down. he doesn't look away and i can see how tired his eyes are. even after sleeping for the whole flight, he still looks exhausted. ever since i met him, i have never seen him sleeping so much.

it made me smile in relief. that kind of smile you have when you let your little brother win in a game, because he was a kid and kids should be winning games and run around with a big smile on their faces.

i had this kind of smile today. finally, he's getting some sleep.

"how many more hours until we land?" i hear him say, rubbing his left eye while doing so.

i stop the music and take off one earphone. i check the time on my phone. we have around 2 hours till we land home. flights from america to finland are insanely big, up to 15 hours. 15! i don't know how i haven't lost my mind yet.

"about 2 hours. you were sleeping for... 10 hours, yeah." i say, watching him widen his eyes and nodding in an impressive way.

"i did?" he asks and i nod.

his face reads, 'then why am i so tired? jesus christ!'

"no, don't have that face, your sleeping med-" i begin but he cuts me off.

"there's no meds, i cut them off. i just take my ADHD ones now." he says.

"that's even better, then! you were asleep for 10 hours without medication's help." i say in a positive tone, but he feels no different.

"i just wanna go home." he suddenly looks very young, vulnerable, child-like.

Niko moves to his right shoulder now, facing Joel. we keep it down because we don't want to wake him up.

my phone buzzes in my palm and i see the screen reading 'Hokka 🤘🏻' and there's a message under his name.

J: Do you sometimes have the urge to hide in a black hole and get away from everyone? Not forever just for a few hours... 2-4 days maybe

my lips part and my mouth feels very dry. i look up at him, but he's back on his seat, staring down his phone.

i text him back.

A: why? do you feel that way?

he replies immediately.

J: Yeah

A: i have felt that way but what this has to do with anything?

J: It doesn't. I was just curious

A: joel