The Day You Saved Me

16.

Chris had been pacing back and forth the hotel room for about an hour and half. His phone held tightly on his hand, while a video call played on the background of his laptop. The whole JYP PR team, trying to solve the mess you two are in. "Yes, sir. I know, I know", was all he had been saying at everything JYP was yelling in his ear.

You were actually worried his pacing was going to leave an indentation on the floor, his sleepers dragging against the carpet, his hair curly and messy from all the times he has been running his hand through it. You have not said a word the whole time, still trying to process that your face is all over the internet.

Never in your life had you had this much attention, and honestly it was scary. People could be mean and cruel, but what scares you most is they could find out about everything you've been trying to bury the past three months you've been away from home.

Chris finally hangs up and closes his computer, you're sitting by the end of the bed, and he joins sitting next to you but letting his upper body fall back in the bed, his right arm coming up to cover his face. "Well, that gave me a fucking headache", he sighs, rubbing his other hand up and down your back.

"I didn't mean for any of this to happen", you say in a whisper. Your hands coming up to run over your own face, this whole deal was making you very anxious and insecure. "C'me here, sweetheart, gimme a kiss", he reaches for your hand, trying to pull you back, towards him.

"Christopher! This is not a joke, your career is at stake here and not only that, the other boys too, the group", you say worried, getting up from the bed and walking away, picking up your things. "Hey, hold on! It's okay... It's not a joke for me, but you're also important to me", he holds the back of your head and hugs you, trying to calm you down.

"I can't, can't do this. What if they find out about the accident or about Yunho?", you let go of him, waking back, your breathing is fast and desperate, and suddenly you feel like the walls are closing in on you. "Yunho was right, I never should've left Korea, this is all my fault, they're gonna...know... figure it out", you continue your mumbling and spiraling, and Chris identifies that you're going through a panic attack, he takes the things you're holding in your hands and guides your through the room, sitting down with you on the bed once again.

"It's alright, angel. You're okay, I'm right here", his arms are around your body, holding you and trying to help you through it as his hand follows your jagged breaths around your ribcage. "Can you name a few things you see around you, darling?", he is trying to ground you, bring you back and out of the haze of the panic.

"I.. laptop, suitcase...", you can identify a few other things, but it is hard to put it into words and try to regulate your breathing at the same time, "That's right, good girl. What's else?", he hums, waiting patiently, "The window, the bathroom, and...you. I can see you", you place your hand on his cheek, only now realizing you're shaking, the rush of adrenaline still present through your veins.

"I see you too, angel. You're back", he smiles softly, holding you against his chest, still giving you time to recover, "Deep breaths for me, please. Yeah?", there's a few tears rolling down your cheeks, wetting his shirt a little bit. "None of this is your fault. It comes with the job, being an idol can sometimes mean giving up my privacy, but I'm not gonna let this affect you this way, okay darling? You're safe and you're not going anywhere".

You spend the rest of the night there with him, but as soon as you go back to work the next day, reality hits you. It's the closing night of the tour, and the backstage of the venue is packed, everyone is running around getting everything ready. Seungmin is sitting in your chair, you're doing his makeup, trying to highlight his eyes a little bit more, but he keeps moving around, jerking his face away, or tilting it down to look at his phone.

"Seungmin, please. We're already late, just let me finish", you say, grabbing his jaw softly, but his touch is far from soft. He throws his hand over yours caressly and you flinch. "Oh yeah, sorry. I forgot you were too busy trying to end our careers, to actually be on time to do your job", he says looking straight into your eyes, gritting his teeth to make his voice come out lower, and gets up from the chair in front of you.

That is just the first of many comments you hear about yourself in the hallways, the rest of the staff looking down at you, whispering, and laughing at you whenever you are around. The rest of the night, after the concert starts you try to keep your head low, picking up your brushes and supplies, and getting everything packed for your trip back to Korea the next day.

The boys come backstage a few times for wardrobe changes, but you're not allowed near them, getting distracted by one of your coworkers or your manager. "Mrs. Park a word, please", your skin crawls at the sound of his voice. You know who is requesting your attention, you knew he would be there for the last concert, but you never imagined he would want to talk to you directly.

"Walk with me, please Mrs. Park", JYP leads the way out of the backstage rooms, and through the hallways of the venue. "You see Mrs. Park, I understand you've been through a tough time, and we've been there for you. We fired one of our best producers to protect you, we've covered your medical bills, and your stay at hotels. And we will help you with your divorce settlement, but now Mrs. Park, I need you to help me."

He stops walking and places his hand on your arm, stopping you so you turn to look at him, "This group is very valuable to me, they are reaching the peak of fame, and Chan, he has been with us since he was a little kid, and never once had he been involved in this type of scandal", you feel your hands sweating, the wake of another panic attack coming.

"So please, Mrs. Park, I need you to be so kind and stay away from him. I'll let you continue to work with his team, but not him", he smiles wickedly and waits for your answer, "Of course, I will", you say softly, because you have no other choice, these rumors could've not gotten out in a better moment than this. Just as the tour is over and just as you have to go back to your house where it all happened.

As soon as the last song starts playing, you grab your things and leave the venue, knowing Chris would come and try to find you, but need to put distance between you and him. Suho goes back to the hotel with you, and you get your things ready to catch the first flight back to Korea, before the rest of the staff. Suho offers to stay with her until the divorce is settled and you can get a new place.

Just as you are about to turn on the airplane mode on your phone, you get his texts:

Chris:
"Darling, where are you?"
"I've been looking everywhere for you"
"Angel? Answer me, please"

You text him back: "I'm sorry, Chris. This can't be."