Luna's fight with Anorexia Nervosa (true story)

9

May 2010, 13 years old
POV Maria

With a cup of coffee in my hand I'm sitting on the couch looking at the garden. Vaguely I register what a beautiful day it is. The sun is shining and the roses are already blooming in the garden. The funeral yesterday was difficult for all of us.

Luna who didn't know what clothes to wear and Naomi who has the flu but still went anyway. Robert who remained calm and friendly, but asked a lot of effort from him. Neither of us wanted to push Luna to eat yesterday, it was so sad for her too that her grandma passed away.

Today, with breakfast she refused to eat or drink again. When I put a cup of tea down for her she slid it far away. I made up a cleaning task at the kitchen counter so wouldn't have the feeling I was watching if she would eat something. A moment later I hear her walking up the stairs. I feel anger and worry rising up, mixed with doubt wether I should have intervened or not.

Behind her bedroom door I hear movement. Carefully I open her door. Luna is in the middle of room waving with her arms and doing knee bends. 'What are you doing?' 'Nothing.' Stubbornly she looks away from me. 'Exercises to stay fit for hockey.' 'Without eating or drinking anything?' 'I couldn't swallow it.'

'When was the last time you ate or drank?' She is shrugging her shoulders. And suddenly I realize that she probably hasn't been eating since yesterday. I sit on her bed and pull her next me, close to me. 'Lun, you know what can happen if you don't eat. The doctor explained it to you very well. Your blood sugar level drops so low you can go into a coma. With permanent brain damage. Why are you doing this?'

Her eyes are getting really dark. 'You don't understand anything about me.' Silently I stand up, walk out of her room and close her door. Very soft, so that I don't throw it or scream. Calm down first, I say to myself. I make coffee and drink a few sips.

Luna's blood sugar must be extremely  low again. I know how dangerous that is. 3 times I breathe in deeply and out slowly. Then I grab my phone.

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POV Luna (from her diary)

24 may 2010
I've been having a hard time lately.
It was not going well at home, at day treatment I kept noticing that I was the youngest and I felt insecure about all the clothes I was wearing.
At day treatment, they never have time to talk and I couldn't manage to eat at all.
At my grandmothers funeral I was wearing clothes I was uncomfortable in and it was a big problem at home.
I had breakfast and dinner alone that day.
So I didn't eat.
The next day I was hospitalized again.

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POV doctor Robinson

Although at the first hospitalization I saw that we were dealing with a seriously ill girl, Luna seemed to be doing pretty well right away. Quickly, tube feeding was no longer needed and she ate herself again. Her weight increased, there was room for treatment.

For parents it's quite hard to understand that in the first place we mostly focus on normalizing eating behavior. Not only because sometime there is a life-threatening situation, but also because we know that the lower the weight, the stronger the voice of the eating disorder. The eating disorder takes up too much space when extremely underweight. The patient is not always accessible for therapy. Coaching and motivational conversations are of great importance in the phase.

Fortunately, Luna could already go home after 2 weeks in combination with day treatment. Right from the start, at every medical check up with me or my coworker she complained about being by far the youngest in her group. I understand that it must feel horrible for her.

Treatment in a clinical environment is far from ideal for such a young girl. It would be better if more help could be provided for the family itself and that she could just go back to school, but there are not many possibilities for that yet.

Unfortunately, Luna is getting worse now. In addition, it is very difficult for the family. Luna's grandmother just passed away, all things alway come at the same time, it must be difficult for the parents to also accompany their daughter at her eating moments during this time.

Luna's eating disorder is turning out to be more powerful than I initially hoped. This time tube feeding is much longer needed. Fortunately her mother is a nurse, so it is decided that Luna can, with high exception, go home with a tube.