Uncertain Love!

Falling in love. (School's Chapter)

There you have an another part of me that want to stay alive forever. 🫠

School was only fun during my 12th standard. Before that it was so boring. It was fun because I had someone with whom I can have fun in recess and eat together with. My 12th and her 11th standard started during the COVID 19 pandemic, and it was during the opening phase of the world. During that time very few students were coming to the school. So our maths teacher used to merge the 11th and 12th standard together and teach us common topics. So she was also a maths student, and she used to sit behind me with her friends. Whole class were shocked why the heck all the girls of 11th standard sitting behind me. They used to tease me by calling me "Pushpu" in front of the whole class.

In our school students of 11th and 12th are assigned a duty to check uniform of all the class present at that time. Students were assigned because there were only 5 classed were there (2 class of science and commerce, and 1 class of arts). So this duty rotates between classes. So after 12th science, next turn is for 11th science. And I got to know that 11th science will have to start there duty from Tuesday as this duty has been changed Monday to Monday. So they didn't know about their turn, so I told her about it as she used to come for the checking of uniform. And on Monday 11th science's class teacher asked her that why haven't you gone for the duty, and she replied that Pushpu told us that their duty will start from tomorrow onwards. And every teacher at that time knew me too well. So the teacher exclaimed, PUSHPU !!! You mean Pushpendra right? And that day the whole staff room got to know that girls of 11th standard called me by the name Pushpu. That teacher said that all students of 11th standard should call my batchmates bhaiya (big brother) and didi (big sister). And the whole class started laughing.

At the time(around November 2021) when we were just good friends,  a girl from 11th Arts proposed me. I was that guy who cares about everyone's feelings so I told her that we weren't meant to be together. But that girl didn't listen to me and started forcing me to get into the relationship. I bluffed that I love someone else. That girl asked me the name of that girl I love. I told an ex-student's name, and coincidentally she was My girl's friend. After that I just started ignoring that girl. This matter started spreading in the whole school like a "wildfire" (and also the teacher got to know about this matter). On the same day when I went in the parking area to get my cycle, that girl was also there. She asked me out again. But this time I refused. That girl was so mean, she screamed that if something happened to her, then I'll be the reason behind that. Many students and teachers were also there (including my teachers). They all started staring at me.

On that day when I was walking from school to home with her(my girl), I told her about this matter. She got so angry that she told me that she would warn her to stay away from me. The next day during recess, she straight up went to that girl and started fighting (verbally). I watched that fight the whole recess from the 2nd floor. And when the school was over for that day, I was waiting for her so we could leave for home. When she came  to me, she just slapped me in front of the whole school.

I can still remember the feeling of her hands on my cheeks, gentle yet firm. It's like a soft whisper of warmth that stayed with me. But right after, there was the sharp sting of her slap, a sudden reminder of how complicated emotions can be. This memory is like a mix of sweetness and pain, showing how love and intensity can collide. It's a real, raw moment that captures the complexity of human relationships, with all their tenderness and strength, making it something I can't forget.

Right after that she asked me about the ex-student of our school whose   name I had given to that arts class girl. I wanted to make her jealous so I told her that yes I had a crush on that  ex-student of our school. She got upset. After about 3 days I confessed to her that I had crush on nobody. The glow on her face after listening to this was so beautiful. I assured her literally 10 times. And that is when I got to know that she likes me. No she hasn't told me at that time but by this action I knew that something was fishy. I asked her why you fight for me with that arts class girl. She replied to me that I meant so much in her life that she can fight for me with anyone.

After few days that arts class girl started again to force me. She follows me everywhere during the recess. I started running in the corridor. She also started running. Finally I entered the staff room and told my maths teacher and my class teacher the whole story. They said they will complain about this to her class teacher. That girl's parents were called next day, and her parents and her class teacher try to make her understand that it's not possible if we both are agree to be in relationship. FIRST OF ALL, IT WAS MY MISTAKE THAT I TEASED HER THAT SHE HAD A MOUSTACHE BIGGER THAN THAT OF MINE. AND SECOND OF ALL I SHOULD HAVE SAID HER NO STRAIGHT UP. These two were my only mistake.

The next day I took a rakhi with me. During my physics lab (my class teacher took that lab). She was so frank and understanding that her and other students started teasing me that many girls are after me. (Honestly speaking, I enjoyed some of that but when the topic was about that arts class girl then I hated it.) I told my teacher that I have rakhi with me please ask her to tie it. She said jokingly that if I wanted her to tie me the rakhi then I had to make all the girls of school my sister. I said that's not fair.  Then she started teasing me again that I like someone from 11th science as she saw me everyday with "her". This kept going on for 2-3 weeks. (I kinda enjoyed the rumour about me liking someone from 11th science).

A guy from 11th commerce started hanging out with her(my girl) during recess. I don't know why I felt so bad. On the same day when we were going home I havent said a single thing to her. I was just giving her dry replies. She got it that something is wrong. I told her why you didn't come to me during recess, she replied that this guy wasn't leaving from there. I said it's ok. She saw the disappointment on my face. And started ignoring that guy.

Spoilers: In future chapters you'll find the same guy proposing her, when she was my girlfriend. (Sorry for ruining it.)

We used to play volleyball together in same team. It was so fun. The girls of her class were so good they (including her) spent more time with me then my classmates (except 1. You'll get to know about him in future).

After my teacher had found out that there is something going on between me and her, the teacher, from then stops her from playing with by all means (in Hindi se call it SAM DAM DANDD BHEDD). This made her so mad that she went home alone crying till she reached home. I was walking 100 meters away from her and I saw her crying. I ran to her and asked what happened, but she didn't replied. She told me to leave but I didn't listen to her. And stayed till we reached home. On that day that teacher invited me to her tution class for studying. I went there and I asked the teacher that I saw her crying. And she replied that she just wanted my name to be clear as there was my rumours about me as a FUCKBOY of the school. ( Bruh  I can't even talk to a girl properly and the entitled me as a FUCKBOY! WTF!)

After that tution session, I ran to the garden, where we meet after school, and saw her crying again. I said to her that I know why she is crying. And she just spilled all everything which was inside her kill her throughout. She said it's unfair to keep her away from playing during the games period. Really it is unfair, her parents were also paying the same amount of money to the school, dispite of being financially weak.

Oh! I forgot to mention about her sister I also used to meet her during the break. And sometimes, I come home by cycling with her. Both sisters were too much talkative.

I enjoyed that time so much that I wish I could turn back the clocks and go to that part of my life where I was genuinely happy.

I don't know what I had done for her that she stopped doing those things from which I get hurt or the things I don't like.

And till the present, I'm still wondering what I have done to deserve this. This love and pain at the same time.

Goodbye.........