The Mourning Mail (final release candidate #7)

Chapter 3

Dad had kept those letters and made that recording. That suggested there might be at least a decent human-interest story somewhere in them. That he was worried about a potential homicide suggested it might be darker. But certainly, something.

It was time to dig into the other contents of that legal file folder. The second through fifth set of pouches contained the original letters Dad retrieved. They were in order by date. Dad had placed the pages of each letter together in a manila folder along with its corresponding envelope. Most of the writing was on lined white letter-sized paper. But sprinkled among them was the occasional card commemorating a birthday or holiday. These were most often blank except for their invisible ink contents.

The sixth through tenth pouches contained printed photos of the letters captured under black light – those explained the light fixture in the box. Also ordered by date, Dad had paper-clipped the page images of each letter together. In the margins were sporadic notes, some lengthy, in Dad's handwriting.

I didn't want to risk spoiling the originals until I knew what I was dealing with. I began by printing Dad's black light photos of the letters. The prints would become my working copies. The author addressed each letter "Dear Sis," followed by the month and date, nothing more. "I miss and love you, Bubba," or sentiments very close to that, signed off every letter. The handwriting was distinctive. It randomly but regularly switched from readable cursive to block lettering and back. Pronounced shifts in style often happened when he tried to make a point or express an emotion. Several apologies started the series off:

"I am so sorry I screwed up, Sis. My landlord was hassling me for the rent. The grab was supposed to be a quick in-and-out. It was the first time I ran into that Ring home security system with drones and everything. I always thought I was safe from alarms or someone being at home as long as I cut the phone line. I guess the new systems don't need a telephone wire. They use the Internet.

"It's always something. I guess that's a message. I should have listened. I'm trying to learn to make better choices. That's how they talk about it in the sessions at the halfway house. So, they want me to admit that my B&Es were wrong even if I hadn't gotten caught. I still don't know what they expected me to do to make the rent."

I suppose you'd have to give Bubba credit for paying homage to the conditions of his parole. But he seems a little lacking in the sincerity department. He still thinks the option they took away from him was the best one for discharging his debts. Still, he'd endured his fair share of bad news:

"Thanks for coming to the trial and everything. I know it was hard for you to travel with the new baby.

"Hearing about your accident made me cry. I hoped you'd come out of the coma okay. Or at least the doctors wouldn't pull the plug until the court released me. They wouldn't let me spend time at the hospital with you. I couldn't get a pass in time to attend the funeral. But Letti sent me some pictures. She says she and Joe are taking care of Mikey now. That's good. She's a great mom. The funeral pictures looked nice. Lots of flowers and people crying that you wouldn't be here anymore. All your friends were there, which made me feel a little better.

"But it's sad to think I won't ever see you again. When I got out, it didn't seem real, and I kept looking for you to pop up in different places in the neighborhood. Sometimes I can't help it; I wake up at night bawling my eyes out when I have a dream about you."

His mistakes and poor judgment drove many of his problems. His environment and associates caused others. The letters often referred to a hard-knock existence. One of his earlier letters read:

"I don't know why I ever believed Sheila was anything but a ball-buster. You tried to tell me. I thought I was proving something by taking her away from Giorgio. But later I found out she was bleeding him dry. She ran up $20,000 in credit card debt. The word on the street was that her leaving Giorgio was the best thing that could have happened to him. I saw him at a rave and was sure he would punch me out. Instead, he just nodded and said, 'Good luck.' And I think he meant it. Like he knew I would need all the help I could get. She won't let me see Casey because I'm too far behind in the child support. I told her she couldn't do that. But she said she'd take me to court. She'd tell them I'm a bad influence because I keep getting arrested.