Feelings

Unexpected

Sophie put the phone down, her mind reeling from the conversation.  She hadn't expected that in a month of Sundays.  When the phone had rung, annoyingly in the middle of her favourite quiz show, she hadn't recognised the number.  Normally not answering random numbers was her go-to response, but given the number of job sites she'd registered with in the last 24 hours she thought she better.

"Good evening, Sophie Goodman speaking."  her best telephone voice, it always made her smile as she did it.  No harm in a little self-promotion!

"Hello Sophie - please - please don't hang up!" 

She'd recognise the voice anywhere.

"Emma! Good God woman, it's been a while!" she said with the understatement of the century.

"Yeah, it has hasn't it." there was an awkward pause "Are - are you free for lunch tomorrow? I know it's a bit out of the blue " Sophie smirked, you could say that again, " And I will understand if you just want to tell me to go to hell but, well, I think it's time I cleared the air between us - and yes, that does mean an apology. From me, not you." Sophie was, to say the least taken aback.   She was nothing if not open to the idea.

"Okaaaay. If you'd like to?  Where and when?" she crossed her fingers it wouldn't be too far or too expensive.  She had to watch her budget now!

"Well, if you want we could go to the Chinese on the canal near Regent's Park?  I'm staying... visiting someone for a couple of days,  near there. I thought it would be a nice walk for both of us round the park after.  Would that be easy enough for you to get to?" she sounded absolutely terrified and even after all the harsh words, Sophie found herself feeling sorry for her.

"Yeah, that would be fine.  To be honest, I've always wanted to see the inside of it.  1.30 suit you?  I've got an appointment in the morning so that would give me plenty time?"   She didn't really, she just didn't want to sound like a complete loser who had nothing and no one straight off the bat.  There would be time enough for that to come to light tomorrow.

"Great" Emma sounded genuinely relieved.  "Do you want me to book a table for two or shall we chance it?"  It was an odd thing to say, the number of people, but it struck Sophie that she might be confirming her brother would NOT be joining them.  Thankfully.

"Let's live on the edge, let's chance it eh?  We can always get something from the park café if worst comes to worst!" Sophie smiled, genuinely smiled. There was something comfortable about Emma's voice.  Something that reminded her of warm summer days and lying on the grass making daisy chains.  Giggling over secret in-jokes and yes, laughing at Tom.

Emma agreed and they said their goodbyes, or rather their adieu's.  At least this parting was on better terms.  As she stood up to close the curtains, she looked out the window down the street.  Being on the first floor meant that nobody nosed in and she could nose out in relative secrecy.  Especially with the "snooper blinds" as her so-called friend across the landing had laughingly called them one day as they both did exactly that.  

Karen had been funny and kind and a good friend.  She'd lived opposite her for about three and a half years before she moved on to pastures new.  The occasional postcard - she was old school, still had a Nokia phone from nineteen dot -  from around the world was the evidence that Karen was definitely living her best life.  Her replacement in the flat was a dour woman who looked like she was born at sixty and a good laugh would kill her.  They only ever said good morning and good evening. The only reason she knew her name was Mrs A Dempster was because she'd taken a parcel in for her. Mrs A Dempster had merely smiled tersely and accepted the bag then closed the door with a curt 'thanks'.  Now, Mrs A Dempster was just a voice off stage, a bit like Howard's Mother in her favourite comedy show.

As she looked out over the falling dusk, despite herself, she began to think about the last time she had seen Emma.  Not in the house by the sea, no.  In a college dorm, at a party of a mutual friend where they'd tried - and failed - to talk to each other for the first time in about ten years.  It had started badly and just gone downhill from there.  Alcohol and regret do not make for a good reconciliation.

The last words she spoke to Emma were burned into Sophie's memory.  It was like something out of a film.  One of these remarks that you normally think of half an hour after the event, when no one is there to hear your pearl of wisdom.  But, contrary to that, this time she'd done it.  As she'd walked away to re-join the main body of students laughing and joking and generally wasting their grant money, she turned and fired both barrels.

"You know Emma, you think you're the best thing since sliced bread don't you?  Because your SOOO much more mature than Tom.  But do you know something? Even then, and still now, he will always be a better brother than you EVER were a sister - or a friend." and she had stalked off, leaving Emma open mouthed and virtually in tears.

Now, all these years later, she would have to face up to what she'd done.  She only hoped Emma was more forgiving now than she had been then.

As she went to bed that night, Emma looked at the dogeared photo in her purse.  It was two little girls and a lanky, if slightly round faced, boy standing in a garden.  They all had tennis racquets in their hands and had just won the mixed double versus single at Back Garden Wimbledon 1992.  They beamed with pride and posed up a storm. Emma smiled as she remembered it was one of the few days they'd all gotten along, all day.  If only it could be like that again.

A noise to her left disturbed her and she dropped the photo.  Bending down to retrieve it, she was beaten to it by a long fingered greyhound.

"What's this?  Oh good GRIEF! I remember that day as clear as a bell!" Tom smiled, "Come on sis, don't tell me you carry this around with you all the time?"  his face was a picture as he realised that yes, she actually did!

"So what if I do?" she snatched it back and put it in her purse.  "It was a lovely day.  You, me and.. Sophie." she said trailing off as she saw the look on her brother's face.  "You've messed up Tom, again.  I can help but only so much.  The rest? Well that's up to you."

"Don't know if it's worth trying sis.  I don't think, underneath it all, anything has really changed.  She still hates me." he flopped into a chair and put a hand over his eyes, rubbing them tiredly.  "There's nothing anyone can really say that will convince her I'm not a twat!"

"Now, THAT brother dear, is where you're wrong." she came and sat on the arm of the chair, resting her elbow on his head as he leant against her.  "Not that you're not a twat - you are, that's just a fact. But I happen to know she hasn't hated you for a VERY long time.  I'm not convinced she ever did."

"What do you mean?" he sat up, a puzzled expression on his face.  "But she - you - she..." he was lost for words.

"Put it this way, tomorrow will not be our first meeting since we were little.  We met, just once, about ten years after the vase incident and let's just say that dog's wouldn't have licked my blood when she was finished with me, but you? Well, you - and I quote - were a better brother than I was a sister or a friend." she swallowed and looked at him. "And you know something?"

"What?" he could barely comprehend what she had told him. 

"She was right." Emma felt herself well up, and Tom got up and hugged her tightly. 

"No, not right.  So very not right.  You've been an amazing sister and you will always be my amazing sister.  We just got muddled for a little while, but you and me? A team - and Sarah of course, but she's off being amazing half way around the world so she can't be in our little gang." 

She looked up at him and smiled a watery smile. "She's right you know, Sophie.  You ARE a perfect big brother." for a second there was silence then they both burst out laughing and pretended to gag into their hands.  There was nothing quite like a sibling to bring you back to earth.

"Come on Superman, time to get a snack and then bed." she walked to the kitchen as he followed moaning at her.

"EMMA ! HOW many times have I told you Superman is DC! I'm MARVEL! Honestly woman, you're useless." he held his hands up in despair.

"I'm useless?  What about you?  NO idea how to work the washing machine.  I'm surprised you don't walk about naked with no clothes left!" 

Normal service had been resumed....