two red cards | F4 Thailand : MJ

11. stay numb and carry on

"can't change it that's just how it is"

It felt as if I had just gotten run over by a semi-truck.

Thyme had to be lying—it had to be a lie. There was no way that we were siblings or related at all. We couldn't be, I could not be the sister of someone who bullies and tortures others. Of somebody who has been tormenting me. I wanted to break down in tears, this could not be happening to me. The fact that they probably already knew I was adopted made this so much worse. It had to be some sick joke, I wouldn't put it past Thyme to do something like this. I wanted to scream, to shout at him for thinking this was funny. But I couldn't get myself to speak up. Who knows what he'd do if I did.

I've never wanted to be at work more in my life.

Thyme was rich, he had all the power in a situation like this or any situation for that matter. My mind and body felt almost numb. The news that had been thrown at me, my mind just couldn't process it. All the emotions that were starting to build up inside me made me want to burst. That's what it honestly felt like, a bomb waiting to set off causing an explosion. In this case, it was an explosion of emotion. But if I let myself succumb to them, then I couldn't act as if it didn't phase me. Even if it actually did phase me I didn't want them to know it, let him specifically know it. The only person I ever truly opened up to was Kanya and she wasn't here right now. But how I wish she was.

But why if my biological parents were his, why did they not want to keep me? Surely, money wasn't an issue whenever I had come into the picture. Even the thought of them not wanting me despite being well-off, it hurt. Maybe they wanted to save me from the likes of Thyme. Though, if we had grown up together perhaps the situation now would've been different. But there was no use in changing anything now. I couldn't bear to look up and face him, Kavin, or Ren. I would say MJ too but he wasn't even here right now.

The door had swung open and my gaze flickered toward it, "What's going on?"

My hands clenched the fabric at my sides when I heard his voice. Of course, right when he crossed my thoughts MJ appeared. Kavin made his way over to him and clapped him on the back, pulling him over to their little half circle. He looked as confused as I was emotional and numb. After what happened between us earlier, I truly did not want him here for this or to even find out what was happening.

Kavin snickered, "Thyme here, just shared something very important."

His response had only made MJ seem more puzzled. I swallowed, here it was the thing that I don't want to hear again. What I can't hear again, I cannot. I feared that I might truly explode if I heard it again.

MJ pulled his friend's arm from his shoulder and looked directly at Thyme, only after glancing at me. My eyes went back to the cement floor.

"What?" MJ crossed his arms, waiting.

"Ila here," Kavin walked over and patted his hand on top of my hand. Before shaking the drying goop from his palm. "Is our buddie's sister."

MJ's head flicked from Kavin to Thyme and then to me, back to Thyme. His arms fell to his sides, "What?"