How Do You Sleep (when you lie to me)?

1

 "Did you have to do this?
I was thinking that you could be trusted
Did you have to ruin what was shiny?
Now it's all rusted
Did you have to hit me where I'm weak?
Baby, I couldn't breathe
And rub it in so deep
Salt in the wound like you're laughing right at me."

~ Bad Blood (Album: 1989) by Taylor Swift

The first time the former Director I-am-Nick-but-call-me-Fury of SHIELD had approached Tony, he had been both impressed and annoyed, in equal measures, at the audacity of the man for not only daring to break into his house after he went on live television and announced himself as Iron Man, but also for hacking JARVIS's security system.

Well, he hadn't succeeded at cracking J's code so much as he had been given the impression of having done so.

Sometimes, people could be so gullible, it was concerning .

He had, naturally, declined the then Director's ill-mannered invitation to join his super — pun intended — secret boy band.

Fury had, sadly, taken his rejection to heart and had, like a good toxic ex who couldn't let go of the chance to hold the reins of Tony Stark's life, attempted to manipulate his way into Tony's life when he had been at his most vulnerable.

Classic gaslighting.

The whole fiasco around Natasha "Natalie Rushman" Romanoff had been so transparent, it was laughable.

However, dying as he was, he had allowed the obvious spy to infiltrate SI's ranks and slither her way up top to become Tony's PA. It had been amusing, honestly, to watch her poorly disguised attempts at reading him.

As if. Had he been such an open book, 'eccentric' wouldn't have been an adjective used as frequently as it was in his regard.

The only reason why he hadn't sued her — and SHIELD's — ass to the moon and back was because, albeit connivingly, they had been able to help him, even if it was with materials that rightfully belonged to him and which they shouldn't have had in the first place.

Even then, though, he had refused yet another impolitely-kept offer to join what Fury had been calling as 'The Avengers Initiative' .

Contrary to what Rogers believed, Tony describing his intellect as genius wasn't a boast without substance; it never had been.

He would be the first to admit that geniuses could be quite dumb at times, but that wasn't the same as being unobservant or naïve.

People often forgot, but he had served as SI's CEO for nearly two decades, and even though he had had help in the form of Obie Stane, the over-the-top smart weapon designs and the decisions, that took his father's multi-million dollar company and converted it into a multi-billion one in the span of a few years, had still been him.

He wasn't impulsive, his brain was just fast.

Hence why the numerous exploitation tactics had fallen flat. They had been trying to appeal to his ego, and while he did have one the size of Mount Everest, it was just as hard to climb.

So no, it hadn't been him playing hard to get when he had refused SHIELD's proposals for Iron Man to ally himself with them. It had been a plain case of disinterest, something that the agents had struggled to understand. He suspected if they had ever been told no in its strict meaning and not as an underhanded attempt at changing the power dynamics.

He would have, honestly, kept on with his nonchalance had it not been for the Battle of New York.

May 4, 2012. The day that changed everything for him as he knew.