APEX

Ch. 11: On the Edge

Rhys

It had been way too early in the morning for such an intense conversation. If it happened at a more civil hour, I wouldn't have found myself so invested. Instead, I'd done something extreme to prove myself to someone who was never going to view me in a favorable light.

What had I been thinking?

I escaped out of that stifling office and away from Calla, opting to head up to the rooftop where I could regroup. Tracing the spiraling towers of Sury with my index finger held out to the sky, I let the familiar pattern of architectural design soothe me.

My discussion with Calla had not gone to plan. I'd arrived in the morning confident that I would have the upper hand with her, and at first, I had. But her accusations penetrated deeper than expected. They should have bounced off the surface like rubber bullets. Instead, I felt like I was bleeding internally, each misdeed she'd blamed me for nicking a crucial artery.

It irked me that I cared what she thought of me. Aamon would have said it was better for her to believe me capable of bold action as long as it instilled fear in her. I could hear him now, had I told him what transpired with Calla.

"Good," he'd say. "You're the most powerful Alpha of your generation. She should feel that truth whenever she gets within one hundred feet of you."

I wanted her to feel my power, sure, but only if it was accompanied by arousal and a sense of respect—not fear. And so, I'd made the stupidest move possible: I opened myself up to her, providing a psychic link she wasn't entitled to in the hopes that she'd witness my true self. This was not only stupid but dangerous because I'd never allowed anyone besides my family this connection, and certainly not to a woman from outside my own pack.

The vulnerable position it put me in was terrifying but also...exhilarating. Not only did I open myself to her, but I also allowed her the opportunity to do the same.

That's where it should have ended. Me making my stupid mistake, and Calla rejecting my efforts. Instead, and against all odds, Calla had let me in.

Not a lot.

Not for long.

But she had.

She'd taken what I had to give her, and she'd considered it. And in that consideration, I could feel from her something almost as shocking as what I was feeling from myself: She liked it. She wanted it. Whatever I'd been experiencing, it wasn't as entirely one-sided as she made it seem.

At that moment, I wanted a hell of a lot more than her half-hearted declaration that perhaps I wasn't a homicidal monster. I wanted to open that tenuous channel I'd created—open it as wide as it would go. Then, I wanted to dive in, find the deepest, darkest recesses within her and plunge down, and I wanted her to let me, to hold me there.

I didn't ever want to come up for air.

I brought my hand down from the sky and clenched onto the clear plexiglass barrier that prevented Apex's drunken VIPs from tumbling to their deaths. This was beyond a bad idea. Calla, of all people, didn't deserve to see a side of me I rarely even showed myself. And after all that, she still hadn't fully believed in my innocence.

Anger provided much-needed clarity. I'd given her more than she'd given me. I'd extended an emotional connection to her only to have her revert to her same off-putting self.

"Fuck this." I slapped the wall. If she could keep herself in her own little emotional corner, then so could I. And what other choice did I have? I'd drown in her if I wasn't careful.

My phone buzzed and I took it out of my back pocket to find a text from Calla.

Come back so we can prep for the conference.