CONRAD POV CHAPTER 8 "WE'LL ALWAYS HAVE SUMMER"

CHAPTER 8 CONRAD POV

Conrad POV, Counterpoint to Book 3 Chapter 8

I am exhausted. Adam sent me a plane ticket to come home for Christmas. Funny that he had made sure that my car would be at the airport but didn't manage to change his plans to pick me up.

Dad and Jeremiah are still in New York; don't get me wrong, I am so glad that Adam has been showing up for Jeremiah. With me in California and majoring in Pre-med, I have almost officially escaped his orbit and he leaves me alone. I stay in California, and I am doing okay. I see Aunt Julia and Skye even.

It is late, due to travel delays and the moment that I get off the plane, I decide to head to the Summer House in Cousins.

I send a text to Jere while I wait for my luggage and dig my coat out of my backpack.

I always feel the happiest in Cousins. "Beck House," my mother's house. 18 months ago, I had been unpacking the house after Aunt Julia had tried to sell the house but by some miracle Adam decided to buy her out. He had initially said he would sell the Boston House, but it turns out that he never lived in Cousins full time. He got a Condo in Boston. I honestly don't think that he wanted to be reminded of Mom full time; not that he ever really lived with us. Adam was always out of town on business.

18 months ago I almost lost my Mother's house and I did lose my girl. It was the last time that I had seen Isabel.

It is much colder than I remembered; California has amazing weather and excellent surfing. Stanford is intense but school has always come easy to me.

As I pulled into the house, I flash to the time I picked up Isabel and we drove to Cousins. It snowed on the beach, and she made us the worst Hot Coco. In her defense, it was hard to tell how long the powder had been in the pantry and we did not have milk. We giggled like kids. It was the first time that we were truly alone, no Laurel and no Steven. ENOUGH—She is Jeremiah's! I gave her a chance to be happy.

I recognize the car immediately-Pennsylvania Plates. Steven. Kinda odd but maybe he and Taylor snuck away, too late now, I'm staying the night.

I start knocking on the door, "Steve, open up. It's me"

The door opens after what seems like forever.

But it isn't Steven or even Taylor. It is Isabel, my Isabel—NO, Jeremiah's Bells.

I want to scream but instead, "What in the world?" I said, trying to seem unbothered but my mouth must have been open because my candy cane falls out of my mouth.

She is hugging me, holding the fireplace poker. She feels so warm, like home, I have to say something, I need to put distance between us. "Why are you holding a poker?"

She explains that she had thought that I was a burglar.

We move into the living room, this is worse. I see the fireplace and her pile of blankets on the good couch.

I explain about Adam sending the plane ticket and she said she had been bored at home in Philadelphia. I wonder why Jeremiah did not include her in his Holiday plans, but I keep this thought to myself. I remember that Laurel is on her big trip.

I find myself staring at her, I don't even want to look away.

"What?" She is asking.

I try to come up with something, some excuse to have been starring, "You have chocolate all over your face." I say, "Did you have chocolate covered pretzels?" I notice she is embarrassed; I need to change the subject.

"Want me to start a fire?" I ask.

"Yes! I couldn't get it going for some reason."

"It takes a special touch," I say trying to sound confident but now I am thinking about the last time I lit a fire at this house.

Isabel and I had been together. I was so in love with her, and we were here in this place where we had... I just can't be here. This is too much. We are here where we made love; really made love, not sex. "It is too late for a fire. I think I'm just gonna go crash." I say and stand up and quickly head towards the staircase. "Wait, are you sleeping down here?"

"Yup" she says, "Snug as a bug in a rug."

All I can say is, "Merry Christmas Belly, it's really good to see you."

She calls back, "You too."

I grab sheets from the hall cupboard and make my bed. I tell myself that I will leave in the morning. I love this house; I feel my mother in this house but the girl that I love is in this house. I barely sleep despite the previous day.

In the morning, I hear her stirring downstairs and then I hear her crash. I ran to her, and she is flat on the ground by the staircase. She is wearing the flannel sleep pants my mom had gotten her. I know because my mom had gotten me matching ones.

Isabel was slow to get up and I ended up carrying her to the couch. She was in my arms, her arm around my neck and my mind and body were not helping.

I offered her some Advil but I need to not be touching her. I love this woman, and I always will.

We share lunch, I try to read at the kitchen table, but I am so distracted by her. I do start a fire, but I go for a run. This is a bad idea.

She is watching "It's a Wonderful Life" and "Casablanca," My Mom would approve of her choices. I know this girl, this woman. I feel as if I have made a study of her, and she is a creature of habit. I have been reading the same page for 20 minutes when I see tears in her eyes. I can't help but speak to her. I want to convince her that she is making the right decision. I tell her that she is with the right brother.

This is when it happens, when she stops me and says, "Conrad, I owe you an apology." She pauses and says, "Conrad I don't know how everything went so off the rails that summer. I mean you and I could not seem to get it together and Jeremiah was there being all Jeremiah like. It was easy and fun and you and me, well we couldn't get it together." I know what she means, but I don't want to hear how happy she is with my brother, even though that is why I have made all the choices to be out of her life. I don't want to have some big conversation where I question every decision that I have made. I am not even supposed to be here, she isn't mine.

"Belly, you are with who you should be with, I am okay, we are friends. Right?" I hope this sounds believable.

"Conrad, I am happy. I just..." her voice trails off and she looks outside, it is snowing, but we don't acknowledge it, we don't run to the beach in borrowed clothes, we have seen snow on the beach and its magic is not for us. I look down at my book again.

"I am happy Conrad. I want you to be happy too." She says.

"Belly, then I am happy."

I need to leave in the morning. It is time to go back to reality. This house offers magic but it is not for me.

I text Jere and tell him that I have seen Belly and It turns out that he and Adam will be in Boston early the next day.

I can't sleep and end up leaving in the middle of the night. The time difference between the West and East coast is in my favor.

I come downstairs; she is sleeping. I take a moment and take her in. This woman who seems unaware that she holds my heart. I try and memorize her features; I don't know when I will see her again. I feel like a voyeur and leave quickly, leaving her in the house.

Agnes will know what to do about this.