"How many days?" My bestfriend, Carter asked.
"How many days what?" I asked back trying to act like I didn't know what she what talking about.
"Jordan Marion Freeberry, don't you dare lie to me, or act like you have no clue what i'm talking about!" she screamed.
But I was already to deep in thought, thinking of what a odd name I had, I mean who has the last name Freeberry? I knew what she was talking about. She was talking about me. cutting myself. I didn't want to tell her, I didn't want to see the disappointment in her eyes.
I looked back at her, "Zero days." I said, and turned around and keep walking. I could hear her stop, and then the heavy pounding of her feet running to catch back up to me. When I looked at her I could see tears in her eyes.
"This is all my fault!" she yelled and stared crying."Maybe if I just talked to you sooner, or I don't know. Got you help sooner!" I felt bad I really honestly did.
But I was still mad at her. She had told her parent that I cut myself. She had told. I had trusted her, I don't trust many people. I had been hurt to many times, yet I still let her in, I had told her everything about as to why I cut, to why I don't trust people. I told her that I didn't eat so I would get skinny. She knew almost every thing about me.
I was hurt that she would tell, I didn't want help. I might need it, but I didn't want it.
"How bad?" She asked finally, understanding I wasn't going to talk, unless she asked me something first.
"Look i'm sorry, but i'm not in the mood for this." I said, a little more harshly then I wanted to. I looked down the hall way of school to see Thomas, AKA Tommy, standing there with his arms open, waiting for I hug. I was no longer in the mood to be around Carter so I took off in a full out sprint and ran right into his arms. Carter was fast, but I had been in track since 4th grade. I could still out sprint her. Shortly after I heard her run up.
"Hey Thomas." she said. Tommy/Thomas just looked at her funny.
"Who were you talking t...oh me? Just call me Tommy like everyone else." He said. Carter and Tommy had just meet last week, one the first day of school. I had known him already because he lives right next to me. I have know Carter for, well since I moved to this school in 2nd grade. Tommy was new this year to school, he had just moved in over the summer.
"Tommy can I go to your house today? Edward,won't be home till 10:30 tonight." Edward was my brother, also know as Ed for short.
"You can come home with me!" Carter yells.
"Sure, my mom already loves you." Said Tommy. Ignoring Carter.
-*Ring*- went the 3 o'clock bell.
We could finally leave. Our teacher would let us go into the hallway at 2:45 as long as we didn't leave till 3.
I walked over to the candy machine. "I want a cady bar." I said to no one partical.
"Let's go! were going to miss the bus." Yelled Tommy.
"But I want a candy bar!" I yelled, kicking the machine. I grabbed my bag and ran over to Tommy.
He was chucking at my childish act. "What? Are you laughing at me?" I asked.
"No.."Tommy said, dragging out the 'O'. I could tell he was lieing, but I didn't care. By this time we had gotten on the bus, and took a seat. I felt bad now for not saying anything to Carter. she was only tyring to help after all. I Don't know how long I was lost in thought but by the time I realized I had got lost in thought, it was time to get off the bus.
"Let me run to my house first." I said to Tommy. He nodded. As soon as I was in the house and the door was closed. I just fell to the floor, crying. I try to act so happy with other people, but really I was dead inside. I no longer had the will to live. Look down and my arm I noticed my sleeve had come up, I could see the bottoms on my cuts peaking out. Seeing my cuts made me mad. It made want to cut, to scream, to die. I got up from the floor and went into my room. I walked calmly over to my bed and got out my razor. One cut for being fat. One for being ugly. One for not being perfect. One for not being strong, and not cutting. One for all my scars I already had. I sat there and cut, and cried for I don't even know how long.
"Jordan?" I hear Tommy ask? How long was I in here? I looked down at myself I was covered in blood. There was no way out of this. Tommy was going to find me. He would be mad at me. We are probably going to get into a fight. I want Carter right now. She never got mad. She would just help me clean up, and try to cheer me up.
"In here Tommy." I called. I could hear him getting closer and closer to my room. Any second now, he would open the door. I looked down at my arm. What would he think? Would he think its his fault for letting me go home alone? What's going to happen now?
"Oh god, what happen Jordan? Are you okay? I'm going to call the cops." Tommy said as soon as he seen me.
"NO! Don't . I'm okay, I did this to myself." I said in a low said voice.
"Why whould you do that?" He asked. He didn't seem to get it. He seem lost in space.
"Call Carter." Was all I could say. I just keep saying it over and over again. Finnaly after what seemed like hours Cater came rushing into my room. I know I had been mean to her, but she was my bestfriend. That didn't make it right, it just meant that she whould forgive me and not judge me.
"Your come back to my house." Carter said. I didn't argue.
I got up from the floor, and went to the bathroom. I turned on the cold water and washed all the dried blood away. I then took a towel a dried my arm. I seen it was still bleeding in some place. I didn't care. I just droped the towel in the floor. I whould have to pick that up befor Ed got home. He dosent know I cut. No one knows but Carter, and well, now Tommy.
I didn't like to tell people. They whould just tell me to stop, or act like it was their fault. But in the end it wasn't anyones fault but mine. They didn't cut me. I cut myself.
As I walked out of the bathroom Carter came out of my room with my bag, my phone and my phone charger. "Thanks." I said blankly. Takeing everything from her. Shoveing my phone in my in my back pocket. I put the charger in my bag. I follwed Carter out into the main part of my house, towards the front door. I seen Tommy. I stoped walking and just stared at him. Her had his head down, and looked almost like her was cring.
"I'm sorry you had to find out like this. Know this isn't your fault,and please don't tell anyone." I said to him, and then walked outside. I trusted him not to take stuff from our house. And even if he did, ther wasn't much to take.
___________________________________________________________________________________
This is SUPER short but I need to know if you like it first...so do you like it?
