Need - Jude Bellingham

thirty-nine

I woke up with Jude's arms wrapped tightly around me as we laid in my bed even though I had no recollection of us walking back up here. I shuffled in his grip, turning so I could face him, just admiring how beautiful the guy actually was. And he was my boyfriend? What the actual fuck.

"You good?" he mumbled, burying his head into my shoulder as I stifled a laugh.
"Yeah, it's late you know?"
"Training got moved. I don't plan on leaving here until I have to," he pulled the duvet over us more, making me finally erupt into laughter.
"What happened to you being a morning person?"

"That never fucking happened. I was forced."
"Forced might be a little bit dramatic."
"I was forced," he repeated firmly, making me laugh and realise we wouldn't be having a reasonable conversation for another few hours.

I played with his hair whilst he drifted back off and I replayed yesterdays events in my head. I needed to talk to Marcus today. I appreciated that he wanted to back me but he has to know that, especially in that situation, he was just making it worse. I also wasn't angry at Jude anymore but I needed to make sure I won't just forget about it. The attitude he gave me- in front of all his friends- in the changing rooms and obviously the shit with Tiyrah.

I had to be careful now, in any other situation I would've beefed him so quick he wouldn't be able to explain and just left but I'm being different. I'm gonna do the personal shopping thing, I'm gonna quit weed and self harm for good, I'm gonna make something of myself. I don't care what my parents think of me anymore but Bukayo, I'm gonna make him proud.

I slipped out his grip, still wearing his hoodie and my joggers, walking to the room next door and knocking repeatedly to be annoying.
"Bruv," I heard Kayo complain and soon the lock undo before he faced me, "Man what?"
"Morning to you too," I pushed past him, collapsing onto his bed.

"I was kinda busy-" he started, sitting on his desk and tapping the surface of it nervously as I raised an eyebrow.
"Busy?"
"Yeah," he looked everywhere but me, his eyes lingering on his phone, at the end of the bed charging, all too often.

We both lunged for it at the same time.
"Ayodele please man," he pleaded, trying to get it out my grip.
I laughed loudly, "I didn't even care until you started moving all bookey, what's happening?"
"I actually beg," he tugged at the phone again, "Just leave it man come on."
I finally let go, not caring enough to argue, "Tell me what's gwaning bruv."

He put his tongue in his cheek, debating whether to tell me or not.
"Come on man, we tell each other everything do we not?"
He groaned, kissing his teeth, "Talking to a girl innit?"

"Oh my god!" I grinned widely, jumping up, "How old is she? Is she pretty? Has she got bants? Will she match my banter? Is she chavvy? Has she got a job? Are you-"
"Shush!" he groaned covering his ears with his hands, "One question at a time man."

I looked to him pointedly, making him sigh.
"She's nineteen, she's pretty, she's got bants, she ain't chavvy and kinda got a job. Happy?"
I ignored his reluctance to tell me these things and pressed further excitedly, "What's her name?"

That made him crack a smile, "You know her."
"You what?" My eyes widened as I racked my brain for who it could be but I barely spoke to anyone before I got here, "Only girl I can think of is Kayla and she's none of them things."
He snorted, "It's definitely not that prick."
"Fuck," I thought harder, "I dunno man, just tell me."

"The name Maddie ring a bell?"
I furrowed my eyebrows, "No."
"Oh my fucking god," he burst out laughing, "You're actually a liberty."
"Bruv who is she?"
"You literally had a full conversation with her!" he continued to laugh as I sat there baffled.

"Maddie. The team photographer?"
My mouth formed an 'o' as I remembered, "Oh my god, yeah her. Shit my bad, I completely forgot. But she just disappeared though what the fuck?"
"Nah, she weren't cut out for it I don't think," he laughed to himself and I caught on, memories of her unprofessionalism returning.