Bekaraan [Limitless]

4. Standstill

To know the secrets of life, we must first become aware of their existence.

-Albert Einstein

There come moments in our lives when everything comes to a standstill. As we stand and contemplate our life, we are not sure which way to move to. Everything becomes a blur- like a cobweb we have no idea how to get out of. A dark tunnel where we cannot see anything but know only one thing- to trudge forward and see where it takes us. To test the waters and keep on going and see for ourselves if the path leads us to salvation or destruction.

This was exactly that moment.

The clock struck 3:30AM when she walked out of the shower while grazing her damp hair with the towel. The room was bathing in the soft glow of orangish hue but was devoid of its owner. Not that it had any effect on the other occupant as she busied herself in drying out her hair.

That's how their relationship or lack thereof had always been. It had never reached the point of one feeling the other's absence. They had always been known strangers to each other who'd run into each other sometimes. Other than that, there was no connection between them. Just two people who couldn't care less about each other.

So, when Mahrukh Zanjani found the room empty, it didn't have any effect on her either. Because for him to have that effect, first he needed to have an impact in her life which had never been there. And she was sure there wouldn't be any in the future either.

How right she was, only time would tell.

After drying out her hair, she put the towel back in its place and sliding the door to the balcony, stepped outside. The air of late August was as humid as it could be as she held the railing and darted her eyes over the Margalla Hills standing tall and proud at a distance, somehow there was a sense of freedom she felt with it. Be it due to leaving that God forsaken Haveli or something else, the fact stood, right now standing here under an open sky, away from the Haveli, Mahrukh Zanjani felt a sense of freedom she had never before.

The moment, however, was short lived because now a big question mark of her future stood before her. Now what? She had come to Islamabad- not under the circumstances she wanted to- but the point was, she had come so far. However, even after coming so far, the distance between her and her dreams hadn't shortened. At this point even her own identity had become a question mark to her.

Bilal wasn't with her. Her dreams had shattered. Nothing she wanted had gone according to the plan. She had a dream of building a home with Bilal and making her niche in the IT world. But right now, standing here, with shackles of henna imprinted on her hands, that too for the man she had never liked, everything had come to a standstill. She didn't know which way to move or if there was even any way left for her to even begin with. But she had to keep wading through and see where her destiny led her.

But then again, she was also so tired of running away from her reality while her fate never exhausted of not letting her rest. It had always been after her, like a plague whose only work is to spread and ruin. Whatever she did, it was there to ruin everything for her so there was no point in eluding it now. It was high time she threw her weapons against it and let it do its work, they had no chance against her cruel fate anyway.

Then her thoughts drifted towards Hamail. If he had eaten dinner or not. Was he asleep? Would he be able to after tonight? No matter how much he was trying to hide his pain from her, she could see through it. She was, after all, his big sister. The one with whom he had spent the most chunk of his life. He was an imbecile for thinking he had succeeded in concealing his agony from her.

As if on cue, her phone chimed. Scowling, she walked out of the balcony and towards the dressing. She picked up her phone and her scowl only broadened on seeing Hamail's name flashing. She looked at the clock. It was too late. Was everything okay? She answered the call immediately.