Dwellings On The Past ~ (Lorraine's daughter)

Just breathe

"Honey, you have to come back." I open my eyes, my chest is moving almost as fast as my pulse and I can feel my heart racing. It's hammering against my chest so strong it almost hurts. I look around, my eyes aren't finding anything to settle on.

Everything is a blur. There's no up or down, no left or right. It's just me in the darkness all alone. "Ed, pull over!"

There's so much air I'm breathing in, I don't know why I can't get any oxygen in my lungs. I can't breathe, I feel like I can't breathe. I'm gasping for air, desperately trying to fill my lungs, but I can't. I cannot breathe.

Finally my eyes land on someone. My mom, I'm looking at my mom. She's holding my face in her hands. "Linda, it was just a vision." she says firmly. My eyes keep their focus on her, but I still can't breathe. How long can a body go without oxygen? Can I die from this? I mean, what else will happen? If I can't breathe? My brain gets all dizzy. What if I black out? That's what happens, right? That's what happens when the brain doesn't get oxygen and then you die.

"C'mon, focus on me. Hon, look at me." the voice of my mom gets through to me. I look at her. "Breathe with me. Sweetheart, breathe." she commands. While she takes a breath in I try to do the same. My quick breathing is interrupted by the deep breath in.

"In and out, Linny." my mom instructs while I keep looking at her. I take deep breaths in and out, finally I can breathe again. Finally my body is getting the oxygen it needs. "Yes, like that." she says and I can feel her relief. She removes her hands from my face and wraps them around me. While I hug her back gently I look up to my dad. He's standing behind us, next to the car. He looks so concerned.

"How do you feel?" my mom asks when she pulls back from the hug. I can see her scanning my face for a lie. "Are you sending me back if I tell the truth?" I wonder out loud. I only wanted to think that. Crap.

My mom chuckles softly. "No, hon." she says calmly. "You never have to lie to me. You can tell the truth no matter what." she reassures me. I look between my dad and my mom. "So, you're not sending me back even if I told you that was the worst vision I ever had?"

"Well, you only had three in your whole life, right? That doesn't have to mean too much." my dad reasons. My mom smiles to herself and I can't contain my expression either. "Mh, yeah. Something like that." I mutter. "What do you mean by that?" he questions confused.

"Linny, if you really still want to go to that house, we won't stop you. But it's totally okay if you don't want to." my mom tells me. "It's up to you." she adds before standing up. She was kneeling on the ground, that was probably uncomfortable. My dad walks over to her and hugs her from the side. As often my mom leans her head against his chest. "It wouldn't be a problem to drive you back, okay?" my dad offers.

I'm not quite sure. I still want to go and help that family and I know my parents would be with me, always. "I'll stay with you. I had a vision, so what? That's why I came with you. Also, I think that vision was about where we're going." I say, a little unsure. My mom notices my withholding. Of course she does.

"Having a vision is not nothing. Especially not what you saw." she says calmly. "But you're right. I'm here to protect you and I can explain things to you. Do you wanna tell your dad and me about that vision?"

I nod faintly. "Mh-hm, yeah." I say and my dad walks back to the front of the car. "But, uhm. Mom." I say quietly. I'm surprised she even heard me. She stops walking to the front of the car and turns around to me. "What is it, hon?"

I take a deep breath, I don't want to sound like a child. "Can you sit in the back with me?" I request. She smiles kindly and walks over to me. "Yeah, of course. We have to drive straightforward for a long while anyway. Your dad can handle it." she reassures me as we both get in the back. I sit close to her so I can rest my head on her shoulder and she strokes my hair.

While telling her about the vision my eyelids feel heavier and heavier. I really don't want to fall asleep, but I really can't help it. My mom's still stroking my hair when I fall asleep. It's really comforting.

"That's so not funny, Ed." I hear my mom laugh when I wake up. I don't open my eyes yet, but it's not completely dark around me anymore. "If someone were to tell me you got lost getting home from the supermarket, I wouldn't be surprised."

"Oh, okay." my dad's laughing as well. "That's not fair now. That's just mean." he defends himself. I have to watch out not to laugh about him myself. It's not that my mom's right, but she kind of is...

"It's okay, I still love you." my mom says. I know she's trying really hard not to laugh. When I open my eyes I can see my dad smiling widely in the rearview mirror. "That's good, because I love you, too. Even though you're mean."

My mom laughs again. "Ah, alright." she laughs. "That's really good to know, too." she tells him. "You have to turn left soon." she instructs. When I look out of the window I only see trees. Firs to be exact. A whole lot of them.

Only now I realize my mom's sitting in the front again. When did she change seats? "Then right. It should be there." my mom says before folding the map back together. I can barely see the sky through the trees, but the sun is just going up. At least that's what I assume, because the clouds are colored a light pink.

My mom and I make eye contact through the car mirror, she smiles once she realizes I'm awake. "Good morning, sleepy head." she says and my dad glances at me. "We'll be there very soon." he informs me.

"She knows." my mom tells him. I smile at her while sitting up a little straighter, hoping the aching pain from my neck won't hold on for too long. "How would you know that now?" my dad questions.

"Don't you know the woman you married, dad?" I tease him. My mom knows almost everything, most of the time. I'm not even sure if it's because of her clairvoyance, maybe she just observes a lot. If she does, I inherited it from her.

My dad sighs while turning left. "I won't get an answer that actually makes sense, right? Like not just for you two, but also for me." he says. My mom and I just smile at him. I'd be lying if I said I don't enjoy teaming up with my mom like this. "Ed, remember, a right now." my mom instructs.

When I look out of the car window I see how the forest clears up and the road gets less civil. At the end of the way is a huge house, it looks old, but like it has been taken care of. "That doesn't look like a haunted house at all." I say, not being able to take my eyes away from the building.

"Okay, Linda." my dad says. His tone changed since the last time he talked. I once was in a lecture my mom and him gave at a university. They're doing them because they hope that, through their lectures, they might discourage people from exploring the occult. A lot of non-believers do that and endanger themselves unnecessarily. His voice sounds like when he's giving lectures now. "Lesson number one: Don't say those things about haunted houses. There's no typical look for one and you can't make assumptions because of it."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that."

"It's alright, hon." my mom reassures me. "Ed, she knows." my mom says, glaring at my dad. "Just remember what we told you, okay?" she turns back to me. Her voice is a lot softer now. I nod carefully.

The car stops and my dad is the first one to get outside, my mom and I follow him quickly. He's walking straight towards the house, not going to get our things. "You dad and I do the talking, alright?" my mom asks once she slows down to walk next to me. I nod faintly and of course she realizes something's off.

"Are you okay, hon?" she asks. I nod again, but I know she feels something about this place same as I. "Let's go inside, hm?" she suggests. I nod again, talking seems too much. I feel like the things I perceive in this place are pushing me down. Or pulling me down, I'm not quite sure.