fantasy (oitnb// nicky nichols)

six.

it was the next morning,  nicky was next to me asleep. i wasn't able to sleep. so many things were going through my mind. i was gay. i finished, for once.. a girl made me finish. wow. god how am i supposed to tell alex that i'm gay?what if she thinks i'm doing it for attention?

i figured it would be best if i didn't tell my sister. besides, i didn't want to make things awkward between alex and nicky.. they've known eachother for years. i didn't wanna mess things up between them.

it was breakfast time. as soon as they opened our cell doors i left the cell. i don't know why, but i felt guilty.... maybe i was starting to regret it.

i met up with alex in the library again. "al, can i tell you somthing?"

"yeah, of course. is everything okay?"

"i um... did it with a girl. i don't know what to do. i feel guilty but it was nice. i just.. have a sick feeling in my stomach that won't go away."

"are you gay? or are you just experimenting." she asked me

"well i was talking to this girl and i told her how i've never finished and so she helped me. i guess i'm just experimenting. i don't know alex what do i do."

"if your gay it's fine i have no room to judge you. who was this... girl."

i was quiet, barley a whisper "nicky.."

she smiled "nicky stole your lesbian virginity?! oh my god!"

i laugh "yeah. she did."

"so. are you guys like a thing now? what's going on?"

"it was last night. she slept after and she was sleeping when i came here so we haven't talked about it yet."

"she's a good one ella. she will treat you good."

it was later in the day when i got back to my cell block. nicky was waiting for me in our cell. i sit on the bottom bunk next to her.

"you were gone when i woke up" she said

"yeah, talking to alex. she says hi.."

she slightly smiles. "yeah?" our fingers were intertwined, we were facing eachother. "ella, it's fine if you didn't like what happened."

"no.. no nicky it was amazing. it's not that.. it's just that this is all new to me."

"thank god, i thought you were mad at me." she smiled, turning into a small smirk.

"no. no i'm not mad at you. just thinking."

she kissed the top of my hand, gently.

a guard entered our cell, telling nichols that she had gotten a new job assignment. "nichols. your new job assignment is ICE kitchen, red requested you. we're still one short so red told me that you can pick another inmate. van leaves in 15 minutes, be ready with who you choose." he leaves the cell.

i look at nichols.. "who's red?"

"basically my mom. took care of me when i first got to prison. she's more of a mother then my real ma." she replies

i nod. "god, when am i going to get my job i'm tired of doing nothing all day."

"red said i could pick someone. why don't you come work over there with us? it'll get us out of the prison for a few hours"

"yeah, yeah that would actually be very nice."

"come, put your shoes on so we can meet up with the others."