Their Eyes On Me

The Trio From Hell

  My prince, his hoe friend and his Manger son suck up friend. I got drunk and we cuddled. I admitted my crush on him and admitted it was my first time ever cuddling someone I liked. I also spilled other secrets and hid my face from embarrassment. I had never acted like that when drunk. Meanwhile, he was trying to go through my phone. I told him to bring me alcohol since he was already of age and he brought me water instead. The whole time he was there I whined for his attention. It felt so good, him caressing my hair while being close. Whispering it's okay to me with his sleepy voice. "I'm here. It's okay." He played with the scrunchie on my wrist and I felt so loved, and so very drunk. His voice calm and attractive speaking to me was like liquor.
  They were watching of course, they love to watch after all. That's why they're called the audience and me the entertainment. When I finally got the courage to open my drunk eyes. I turned around and booped him on the nose multiple time and said, "You're a prince! You're SUCH a prince!" And I even took his glasses and tried to look through them. I then proceeded to say he's a very blind prince and since I got dizzy from the prescription he took them back. When he had to leave cause it was nearly 3am, I held onto the bottom of his shirt and told him not to go. He said, "but I gotta be up at like 7am in the morning for school" He was a digital art major, lucky ass. Having enough money for college. I ended up feeling bad and saying, "I'm so selfish but I want you to stay and cuddle" he did end up leaving regardless.
  After that night we would make jokes about how my drunk self acted and we would text a lot. We grew closer quicker and quicker. I should've realized he most likely did just wanna take my innocent happiness away. My carefree self who had never kissed, never done it, never experienced a close relationship. Well he took my body and lips. However he wasn't emotionally open with me and would mention things I hate. In an argument he even went around asking people to help him cheat on me. Meanwhile the whole time we were together his hoe friend that was a girl would say he's so handsome and such. The whole relationship was bullshit, so early in February when I was excited about him being my first valentine. I noticed him acting strange after getting back from his couple weeks away. Him and a girl he knows I hate were both acting weird. Plus with all the other shit that had gone down, the pregnancy I couldn't tell him about but the stalkers at my work knew about. I just couldn't anymore.
  I came to the realization I was happier alone. I couldn't trust him and our values were different. Not to mention he said he hated the idea of children. The managers son called Braden, who basically was a separate version of the ex prince, seemed the most active stalker. Him, and all the others picked up on the early pregnancy. Even my mom when she had visited me during the cold months seemed to have known. Meanwhile I was wondering what had made it so obvious. Cause in no way was I super fat. Sure I was bloated a bit, moody but I always was, and it was far more difficult to bend down and such....however it just baffled me. I didn't even mention the cravings to anyone. Anyways, regardless of the situation I decided I would raise the baby on my own or just plain deal with it on my own. I should probably mention I found out I was pregnant during a break with my ex. Yes it was his, but I also didn't plan to tell a soul about it. Besides of course..my small discord tarot community. Maybe like 7 people with only 4 other active members. I'm not sure if this is common but always during a break or argument my ex would get his hoe friend and Braden involved to make me the bad guy.
  Braden and his hoe friend knew I was pregnant. Cause stalking of course. However when I was on dish, Braden pushed a heavy dish tray on bars at my stomach. Maybe that also gave it away. The panic on my face. I had sensed it. It was a face I couldn't have covered up quick enough. Even the hoe friend who was standing there had gotten onto him for doing so ,but I guess my prince at the time had put him up to the task. "Check if she's actually pregnant by any means possible" Jokes on them I guess. Cause it turned out to be just a chemical pregnancy. An early fetus that became a miscarraige. Even though I had done specific exercises and ate foods for a miscarraige, (Cause I knew I couldnt financially afford a child, but also didn't want to ask my mom how to get an abortion), it still hurt like hell.

  I still couldn't help but think of the child that could've been. I wanted her name to start with an M and sound delicate. (I later found out my cousin had a baby girl and named her Mia like a month later.) I remember how beautiful the world looked when I was pregnant. Just the sight of the snow falling had made me cry from its beauty. Foods tasted either so much better or so much worse, and my heart was even more full of love. However, I knew I couldnt face him no matter what. His constant talk of dabbing and stuff and him never being open with me....I couldn't even trust him as a lover let alone a father. I waited until the moment where he and that girl were acting suspicious and I broke it off. I was sad of course, but I couldn't even talk to him about that devastating miscarraige and that made my decision clear. Little did I know, him and his 2 friends would send my life back into hell even worse than before.