Stannum Cor

I was walking in a path with a familiar color. With a clueless girl, a scarecrow and a lion. But something is different. I can tell by the way I was breathing, It sounded more like a hush of a steaming kettle. My vision is blurred too. Hazy and distorted like a drunk's point of view. Confused, I tried to talk to the others. But none of them ever looked back, like they haven't heard a thing either.

So I followed them, simply because I have no other choice. With each step I took, I left a rusty print on the bright yellow brick road. And from that point  it got weirder and weirder. My so called "companions" turned their necks at me with grimaced facial expressions.

"I will never have the courage"

"I will never have a brain"

"I will never get home"

"We will be lost forever"

As these characters keep repeating everything instantaneously, my chest cracked open. I felt my eyelids widen and my tin hands tremble. I turned my back as blood clots showered out of the hallow cavity, but there was no heart. No heart pumping. No heart connecting the veins that were hanging out of my iron junctured body.

I felt nauseous so I fell. The clammering thud, the sound I made as my back hit the yellow bricks did not help at all. Burdened, I raised my heavy chin up just to look at their early expressions.. turn into laughter.

***

I was relieved by the fact that the next time I blinked I saw my old beatles poster still taped at my ceiling, though I gasped for more air when I realized I am already on the floor. Another unexpected dream i guess, another subconscious effort.

Lazily, I stood up struggling to find my mobile that is somewhere on or below my well organized bed. Then as I found it, a smile appeared on my face crookedly. As I read her name on my inbox waiting for a reply early Saturday morning.

Then I began my old fashioned way of starting a day. I took a moment staring at my tongue at the mirror, brushed my teeth, ate, then brushed it again after. I took a bath in cold water because the say shivering is healthy. Well, in one way or another.

I took my uniform, got them on, grabbed my bag and jolted off to school. With uncombed and wet hair, I greeted the old man selling balot and penoy at the corner of our street. He ignored me, like the day before. But I smiled anyways, I guess it shows how much I've matured.

As I entered the jeepney, I recalled that she texted me first. So I thought of something cheesy to reply, just to tease her at the end saying she's fat and ugly. Eventhough both of us knew the truth. That I adore her for her beauty.

But I don't love her because of lust. It's too shallow to define such phenomena. I love who she is and what she represents. I love her smile, not her face. I love the way she talks, not the very voice that I hear. The way she gracefully moves, not the curves of her body. The emotions that she expresses, not the laughter not the tears. I love the warmth of her presence, not the hugs not the kisses.

So after I sent the message, I gave the driver my fare, leaped out of the rusty silver(colored) carriage with a smile on my face and a wind blown hair. Now I remember where my heart is. It's with her everyday.