Terrible Things ~ Larry Stylinson (AU) {ON HOLD}

Chapter 5

I'm not going to beat around the bush, I'm not going to lie, and I'm not going to pretend. I liked Harry. There was something about him that was so interesting. Fascinating... Even beautiful. He'd been through this rough part of life, and I could tell he was trying to pretend it was all fine, but we all knew it wasn't. And he knew that we knew. I just don't think he wanted to admit it to himself, or to anyone.

The next day I went back to Niall's place to check on him, I wanted to make sure he was okay. Niall let me in and went back to watching TV with Liam. I wandered up the staircase slowly. If he was still asleep, I didn't want to wake him. As I pushed on his bedroom door, it swung open quickly, Harry standing in the frame. Naked. 

"Hey." he smiled casually and walked through to the bathroom. I stood silent for a moment, in shock. I'd just seen him naked... Like... Fully naked. Right in front of me. He came out of the bathroom in sweatpants but no shirt. "I left these in the bathroom by mistake, sorry 'bout that." 

"Oh, uh.. No problem." I shrugged.

"Thanks for looking after me yesterday. I'm a bit of a tosser when I'm ill. Mum told me I acted like I was dying even when I had a cold." Harry smiled and his eyes lit up a little when he mentioned his mum. Then when he carried on thinking, his face turned sad, probably with the realisation that she wasn't around anymore. 

"You're welcome, it was my fault you were ill." I laughed. I looked back up from my feet into his eyes, which were now teared up. "You okay?" 

As I said the words, I immediately regreted them. Tears overflowed his eyes and fell off of his cheeks. He didn't even try to hold them back, he just put his hands over his face. I walked forward and wrapped my arms around him, holding him tightly. I felt him shaking as he cried. It was horrible. I wanted to get to know him so that I could try to help fix his problems. The problem was, I just didn't know how. No one did. He took his hands away from his eyes and wrapped his arms around my waist too, hugging me back. I felt my shoulder become damp as his tears fell onto me, and he buried his face into the crook of my neck. His curls tickled me slightly, but I didn't mind. I rubbed small circles on his bare back. 

"It'll be okay, Harry." I whispered.

"No it won't." he sobbed, shaking his head into my shoulder. "I can't do this on my own. I need them."

"It will. You have--"

"I have nothing." he spoke louder than before, but he was still quiet. I didn't know what to say back. I couldn't think of anything he really had. He had us, me, Niall, Liam, Danielle, Kate... But he needed more than just a few college dropouts. He needed his life back, but none of us could give him that. "There's something you have to understand about me, Louis. There's a lot of stuff you don't know."

"And what's that?" I asked as he pulled out of the hug.

"That I'm just a deeply, deeply unhappy person. I'm fed up of having to take a break and breathe for a while before I speak. Because if I don't I will break down and cry. It's gotten to the point where I can't look in the mirror, because all I see is the boy who killed his own parents and sister. Everyone's telling me to just 'be happy' but I can't. They judge me before they know me, they think I have no reason to be this way. But how can you judge something you don't understand? I don't get it. I don't see anything clearly anymore, whether it's because I can't see through the tears or if it's just because my brain is completely fucked up - I can't tell what's real and what's not." he spoke fast, almost like his emotions had been compressed for so long, and he was now exploding, but I heard and took in every single word.

"What do you mean what's real and what's not?" I asked quietly.

"I see things sometimes." he looked down at the ground, almost ashamed. "I see them. I see mum, dad, my sister... They just stand there and smile. It's nice for a while, but then I get sad because they disappear and I know they're never coming back. Unless I see them again. In my head." Harry pushed a hand through his curly hair as he spoke, his eyes no longer leaving the ground.