Better Off Dead

Chapter Seventeen: Are You Going to Call the Police?

I meandered a little, just in case I thought of somewhere else I'd like to visit one last time. Or maybe just to see the town and experience the atmosphere a little.

I wandered to a shadier part of town, and over to a dive bar. I don't go in bars. I don't have a photo ID, and although revealing my identity would show that I'm old enough to be allowed in, it would give them reason why I should not. I tried that once since you'd think a bar is somewhere that people wouldn't be afraid of me. Didn't work out. Running and screaming ensued.

I was walking past the alley when someone pulled me off the street. Great. Disguise failed, again, and someone was going to attack me with hardware store weaponry, again. Flung against the wall, I looked at him. He was pointing a pocket knife at me, which was a little wimpy, but has been known to happen.

"Give me your wallet." The guy said.

"What?"

"Wallet. Now." He moved the knife a little bit to draw attention to it.

"Are you... trying to mug me? Me?" Was this guy for real? Or was this just another way people wanted to mess with me?

"Yeah, you. You see anyone else?"

I just started laughing. Guffawing, really. He looked a little freaked out but didn't move. "Oh, man. Mugging me? Wow. That's amazing."

"I'm not playing around." He was getting seriously agitated, and was making minor jabbing motions with his puny weapon.

"Neither am I." With my terrifying tentacle arm, I grabbed his hand and broke some fingers. Maybe all the fingers. This guy made a bad choice. He made some whimpering sounds that really didn't go with his ' tough bad guy' persona. That's usually the case. People feel a lot less tough when you break their bones. Something I know from experience.

"You know what?" I said, in an overly mocking way that I do not regret. "You give me your wallet."

"You can't do that!" He actually sounded serious. Like there was some legit reason why it was physically impossible for me to turn around and mug my own mugger. This loop does not compute within the fabric of the universe. Oh, how his view of reality was shattered. Just like his finger bones.

I grinned my half-grin, and as it turns out, Liam was totally wrong. Smiling at people did not make them feel better. But I was having a great time.

"Are you going to call the police?"