| Natasha Romanoff x Y/N Stark |

Chapter 10

It's been a few weeks since I crashed the avengers meeting.
It's been a few weeks since my training started aswell.
There weren't any unusual events, I had training three times per week, mostly with Natasha.
I got real close with the twins and Bucky, we were hanging out a lot and having lots of movie nights.
My training did go well, I trained with my knives mostly alone at night, but Natasha was teaching me some real good weaponless skills and Barton showed me a few cool tricks with his bow.
Wanda is convinced that I crush on Natasha but I already told her that I'm not. Or at least not anymore, was what I told myself. But Wands and my mom get along really well and sometimes we go shopping together. We also tried to invite Natasha but almost every time she declined.
But besides that the redhead gave me slight insight in some points of her private life, but until I actually know her as a person it's gonna be a loooong way. We talk sometimes but not about any deep or personal topics. You could compare it to friends from school you never meet in your freetime. We sometimes meet in the lab and talk for a bit at night.
It was about midnight on a Tuesday when I decided that I'd go to the roof.
I had my music box and my phone with me to turn up some soft and relaxing music and right now I was walking past a Wanda's and Natasha's room to get to the elevator that ends actually on the roof.
It was the only elevator that goes up the whole way since almost noone needs to get up there.
Of course I was minding my own business, not caring what happens in other's bedrooms but that was only until I heard how a glass broke.
It was in Natasha's room so I carefully opened the door and peaked into her room.
It was dark, there was no moonlight in cause of the rain but I could figure some silhouettes. The glass probably stood on her nightsstand before it fell down. Or to be more precise, before she kicked or threw from her nightstand. Luckily there weren't many shards, just a few big ones that I put aside before kneeling down infront of her bed.
She was moving, hitting imaginary things.
As I moved closer I saw that her body was covered in swear and she mumbled a few things, the last thing was "Please... don't.... let her go....NO" before she hit me in the face during her movements.
I caught her arm afterwards, holding it in it's place and tried to wake her up.
With my free arm I shook her gently and stroke her hair out of her sweaty face.
It took me quiet some time but after a few minutes her eyes shut open and she sat apruptly up, hitting me with her free hand once again right in my face.
Ouch....hope this won't get a usual thing because in that case I'm gonna need a helmet.
I sat behind her and wrapped my arms around her.
"Shhh it's ok. It's just me Tasha. Just me. Y/N. Just calm down, everything is alright, we're all alright"
At first she tried to escape my embrace but she stopped as she realized that it's actually just me.
She was shaking violently, her heartbeat was rapid and her breathing was unsteady but she leant back and let me hold her.
I knew how she feels. I've experienced a few times just by myself.
"Just breathe. In and out. Breathe in and hold it a few seconds of you can, it'll help. I'm here for you and I won't go. I'll be there for you whenever you need me Tasha. Just let us calm down, ok?"
She nod careful and tried to breathe as slow and steady as her condition allowed it and by now tears were streaming down here face. But she didn't sob, she wasn't screaming or crying out loud. As if she always cried in silence so nobody would discover it.
She turned herself so she sat on my legs and could hug me back.
I drew small patterns on her back to calm her down and it seemed to work. Her breathes became more steady, the tears became less and her heartrate slowed a bit down. It was a start.
She sat up again and took a deep breath
" 'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you or something"
I shook my head and smiled even tough I wasn't sure if she could see it.
"No, it's ok. I was on my way to.... somewhere. Somewhere where I go if things are getting too much and I don't want to work in the lab, you know. I didn't mean to poke around it's just the way to the only elevator and I ne-"
I shouldn't justify myself right now. It's not about me. She needs me...or at least something else than her room and lonely silence "I mean... I could show you? If you want. It's pretty calm and you can relax without this...darkness"
I actually like darkness itself but there's this comfortable darkness that hugs you when you need it and there's this....scary darkness that stabs you in the back if you don't watch closely. Closed rooms definitely contain scary darkness. But on the roof... If you lay down there for a few minutes and just look up you begin to see the stars, when your eyes get used to the dark sky.
I smiled carefully and to my relief she nod again.
I took her hand since I know my way around here pretty well but she would've needed light which I didn't want to turn on. I led her through my family kitchen, grabbed two cokes, two chocolate bars and we finally reached said elevator. We were going up in comfortable silence but I still watched her careful to be sure she's at least a bit ok.
We reached the roof and I walked her to my place.
I made my way to the shelf where I kept a few blankets to lie on the ground. I layed them down and gestured Natasha to sit or lay on them, what she did. I gave her one coke as I realized that she was only in her classic tanktop. She shivered as if she could read my mind but I already made my way back go the shelf since there was another sweater of mine, from last time I went up here.
"Thank you... you really don't need to-" Natasha began but I interrupted her.
"No. It's ok. You can stay here as long as you want... It can be our little safe space. No one needs to know you're ever up here. Noone knows I'm ever here. I showed it to you because I wanted to, not because you pushed me or anything."

She smiled and nod again "Thank you"
I took a sip from my coke and layed down after I put some calm and quiet music on.
Soon enough she layed beside me and we both just looked up waiting for our eyes to get used to it.

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words: 1221

Soooo I'm back
I hope you're all doing fine
Have a good week and till next Monday ❤️