The Edge

Gideon: Part Eleven

The wind let up eventually, and Gideon's phone signal came back as it did. That meant a barrage of texts and voicemails. The texts were all concerned, but with varying degrees of threat mixed in. He chose to respond to the sibling group chat instead of addressing everyone individually. Safe. Heading back. Though it was going to be difficult to get up when Sam had decided to camp out there.

"Sorry," Gideon said as he started rising slowly, giving the cat a chance to jump off before he was dumped off.

"He'll get over it, don't worry." John kept a respectful distance, only stepping close to pick up Sam when the cat finally jumped down. "He's, ah. A very forgiving boy."

As if on cue, Sam started purring again and rubbed his head against John's chin. "He's sweet," Gideon noted with a small smile.

"Yeah. I'm lucky. D-do you need help getting back?"

"Are you okay with being seen in public?"

John hesitated, a slight look of guilt settling onto his face. "Not really...I wuh, I was gonna call Matthias..."

Fair enough. Gideon appreciated the offer, but he wasn't sure he could handle Matthias's intensity today. He'd been through enough with John. "It's okay. I think I can find my way back." Gideon looked up at the tiny windows. There was still a bit of sand, but nothing he couldn't travel through safely. "Thank you for offering, though."

"You're welcome. And tell everyone t...to be safe."

"I will. Thank you." Gideon hesitated. He wasn't sure what else to say. Already, their conversation felt like a weird dream, something that had happened and shouldn't be discussed again. So, instead of trying, he repeated himself: "Thank you."

John smiled. It made him look so much less tired, even like something approaching the charismatic figure people made him out to be. "I'm glad I could help. Uhm, if...if anything turns up, if you...the broadcast has contact information. For whatever that's worth."

Gideon nodded. "I wish I could give you some advice on your...fans, but it seems like Matthias has that covered."

"Yeah, he does a good job." John smiled like he was thinking of an inside joke. "You'll find her. I know you will."

I hope you're right. John said it with such a casual, secure certainty that made Gideon want to believe, but there were still a few roadblocks in his mind. Too many doubts, worries, uncertainties.

But he wanted to believe it. Maybe that was a good enough first step.

Gideon could feel John's eyes on him as he left the apartment. It almost felt like a shield, like that gaze was granting him one last bit of protection for the long journey. He glanced over his shoulder as he left, catching a glimpse of calm gray. Then the door shut behind him, and the moment was gone.

Outside, the town was starting to wake back up. Doorsteps were swept free of sand; people stuck on the streets emerged from their makeshift shelters, blinked in the light of the sun, and tried to find their footing again. The clarity of the day felt disorienting, especially when combined with the clarity that came with the conversation he'd had.

IT was strange; nothing John had said was wrong. THere was a part of Gideon that clung to it with both hands. But doubt wasn't far behind, either. It was so easy to second-guess those words, no matter how much gentle authority they'd been spoken with. A side effect of his trauma, if he had to guess. It was so hard to believe that he wasn't something monstrous, no matter who was saying it.

Maybe I just need some sleep, Gideon thought. That was usually the correct, if difficult, answer. Maybe things will thin in after that.

The thought kept him pushing forward. It was a bit of a relief that he could focus on it, that he could put aside his doubts enough to focus on a solution. It carried him all the way to the ship.