Lovefools (BWWM)

5.

Friday, November 8th, 1996

Dhakirah's P.O.V.

My little sister Renée's sixth birthday is on Sunday. I haven't seen her since August, and I decided to surprise her with a visit for the weekend. It feels great to be home — away from my overpriced, untouched textbooks and school in general. I made sure to resolve my conflict with Tanya before I left. In other words: I told her what she wanted to hear in order to keep the peace. Which in turn made Caroline reassociate herself with me.

As much as I enjoy being in Ireland, I love being around people who, well, look like me. In a way, it's sort of overwhelming. Perhaps I've gotten used to standing out. From Heathrow Airport, I took the bus to Brixton and walked the rest of the way to my beloved terraced home.

A minute after ringing the doorbell, my sister Josephine opens the door for me. I don't think I've ever seen her this happy before, she tends to have a straight face at all times. "Kiki, what are you doing here? Mummy never told us you were coming! Do you need help bringing in your suitcase?"

"That's because she doesn't know, I came over to surprise Ren for her birthday. And no, but thank you. It's not heavy." I pull my suitcase from the ground floor to my bedroom that's all the way up on the second floor. It'd be rude of me to just stay in my bedroom, so instead I go to the loft room to see if anyone's there.

I find Ren and Sam watching 'Pocahontas' together on VHS. Despite having not said anything, they must've sensed my presence because they both turn around to look at me. They both tackle me to the ground with hugs. My other brothers, Akwasi and Bernard come rushing to the loft room. "CAN YOU SHUT UP– Oh, hey Kirah."

"Hello, Okra." I say, completely out of breath. When Ren was still a toddler, she called Akwasi 'okra' by mistake. "So, you people are only happy to see me when I'm gone?"

"You said it, not us." Okra responds in his standard bored tone as he helps me stand back up. "Drop the act, you missed her the most out of all of us." Bernard laughs at him. "Mind your own business, boy."

These kids look so different since I last saw them, especially Okra and Josie. Even Ren's gotten taller in the past few months. "Do any of you know when Mummy's coming back?"

"No." Sam tells me. "She left with Daddy an hour ago, I think."

"Well, in that case," I walk over to the VHS box beside the TV. From said box, I pull out an old favourite: 'Carrie', the greatest horror film I've ever seen, "let's watch a film, then!"

[TW: ❗️talks of sexual assault❗️]

Trevor's P.O.V.

I had dropped by my parents' house to talk to Mammy about the incident. Had I known that Roisin and her mother would also here, I would've just stayed home. The ol' fella isn't here to keep me company, seems he's gone out with Johnny and Shelly. Clearly Roisin wasn't expecting me to show up, either, because she looked horribly ashamed as soon as we made eye contact.

I wonder if Mrs. Malloy is aware of what her daughter did to me, although I highly doubt it. Our mother's must've sensed the tension because they stopped their conversation to look at us before leaving me and Roisin alone in the kitchen.

We sit in silence for a while until I choose to swallow my pride and say something, "Are you proud of yourself?" She begins to sob dramatically, for some reason. "I asked a simple 'yes' or 'no' question. Why're you crying? I should be the one who's crying! You do not deserve to be upset."

"Trevor, please, I'm sorry about what I did! I swear, there were no bad intentions behind it!" Is she demented?! "Do you hear yourself when you talk? How can you assault me, play the victim, and have the nerve to claim you had 'no bad intentions'? If, somehow, you're not already ashamed of yourself, I hope that you will be after this conversation. And don't waste your breath with an apology."

"I have to tell you something important, but I need you to calm d—"

"You want me to calm down? After this and everything else you've done to me over the years, why should I be calm? Why should I listen to you at all? I HAVE A RIGHT TO BE UPSET!"

I've always let people walk all over me and treat me like garbage for the sake of avoiding confrontation. It feels great to let out these big feelings, but the euphoria is only temporary. "All of this stress your putting me under isn't good for the baby."

"What baby are you yapping about, other than yourself? You're an adult woman, Roisin. If you won't behave like an adult, at the very least, refer to yourself as one."

"I'm not talking about myself, you idiot! I'm talking about your baby!" Shut. Up. "I haven't had my period yet, and we were together four weeks ago." Stop treating it as though it was a mutual agreement. "The dates match up."

"Right, well, I'll be leaving now. And wipe your tears, you're lucky I didn't give you something to cry about." On my way to my car, I walk past Mammy and Mrs. Malloy who are smoking cigarettes and laughing together in the driveway. What I plan on telling my mother will put their lifelong friendship at risk. "Teddy, did she tell you the good news?"

"She sure did, Mammy. Actually, I have good news for you, too — you may or may not be having another grandchild, though it's not intentional on my part." They glance at each then look back at me. "Excuse me, love, I'm afraid I don't understand what you mean."

"Ask Roisin for further details."

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Dhakirah's P.O.V.

Nostalgia is a strange feeling when combined with homesickness. The colourful walls of my childhood bedroom are so welcoming, yet my posters are looking down at me as if I'm some random girl. I wonder if they're upset with me for abandoning them.

Despite my train of thought having left the station long ago, one idea keeps trying to jump on, no matter how many times it's thrown off. Something's telling me that someone who's near and dear to my heart will have very bad news.

I don't know who nor what, however I'd much rather stay curious for the sake of my mental health.

As I'm deep in my thoughts, Mummy opens my bedroom door without knocking, as parents do. "Hello, Kiki. How are you?"

"Hm? Oh, I'm fine. Why do you ask?"

"You look sad. Is something bothering you?" Kind of. "No, everything is okay, I'm just tired."

"Are you sure?" I nod my head. "Okay, then. Good night, Kiki, and don't forget to pray." With that, Mummy turns off the light and exits the room, closing the door behind her. I haven't prayed to God in a long time. Sometimes I want to, but I either forget or I get caught up in something else.

I thank Him for a safe flight, ask Him to keep my friends in Ireland safe, and, while I'm at it, I ask that He exposes any hidden enemies to me.

"...In Jesus' name. Amen."

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(1249 words)