stuck :: hemmings

fifteen.

Luke and Calum were standing in the living room arguing over tonight's film. I'd volunteered to make a bag of popcorn, not caring what we watched and wanting to avoid any witty insults aimed at me from our newest addition. Luke had apologized profusely after Calum walked through the door and eyed me with discontent. Apparently, the raven-haired boy had said he was busy tonight, so Luke went ahead and invited me. Well, whatever had occupied Calum's time occupied it no longer and our threesome had gained a new member. I assured Luke that it wasn't a big deal, Calum and I were often forced into each other's lives. I was, however, quite disappointed that now any hope of getting closer to the object of my affection was squashed into oblivion.

As I stood leaned against the cool marble counter waiting for the timer to end, I pondered my discovery in Luke's bedroom. The date on the bracelet was recent, before I met him but not by much. Why did most people our age go to the hospital? It was usually something related to a broken arm or leg. If he'd had an accident at a crazy party, wouldn't he have some sign of the event? Or would he not have told the epic story that came along with the injury? I knew most guys relished in the details of their drunk shenanigans; ending up in the hospital being the ultimate dream. Once the microwave began to beep, I decided to drop it. Leah would certainly know her own boyfriend went to the hospital and if he seemed fine now, it probably wasn't that big of a deal. I chided myself for overthinking the smallest thing.

I opened the bag and let hot steam hit my face, its buttery smell flooding my nose. I poured it into a bowl I'd found in the drying rack and made my way over to the living room. Michael was on the couch next to Luke, clearly not involved in the heated debate about flim selection.

"Okay, you know what." Luke got to his feet. "Enough of this. I'm sick of all the movies I have anyway. Brooklyn, why don't you and Michael head to the video store and pick us up something?"

I could see what he was doing, and I looked at my shoes embarrassed that he felt the need to play matchmaker. It was like no one trusted me to do anything on my own, feeling a need to force us together in planned circumstance.

"Fuck no, I'm not trusting those two with movie night. I'll go," Calum interjected before I had the chance to respond.

"And since you walked here, I'll drive," Luke responded as he started to put on his leather jacket. The idea of being left alone with Michael suddenly terrified me, especially being left alone in Luke's home.

"We could always tag along." I said, watching Luke shake his head.

"Nah, it doesn't take four people to get a movie. Besides, I need someone here to watch my fish." He jerked a thumb to the lonely aquarium. I almost protested further, but knew it was no use. Besides, this is what I wanted, wasn't it?

Calum and Luke pulled on their shoes and were out the door, leaving me standing with Michael and the fish. Nerves uprooted my stomach and started to move up my throat. Why was this so awkward? I wasn't a mute; I could initiate conversation with a fucking boy. I finally turned and found Michael to be sitting on the couch. I hesitantly sat next to him, just close enough to brush my arms bare skin against his soft sweater. The bubbling aquarium was the only noise besides low voices that came from a television next door.

"So, you come here often?" I joked.

Michael simply looked off into the distance and I wondered if he'd even heard me. Before I could try again at an awkward one liner, he started to stand. "I'm going on the porch to smoke if you want a hit."

"Nah, I'm good. But I'll join you." I'd only been high once and it resulted in my anxiety only worsening. Since my anxiety was bad enough on its own, I was sure to avoid anything and everything that would amplify its effects. I followed Michael to the porch after he had slid open the glass door. A cool breeze instantly welcomed me, and I could smell the remnants of pot from Michael's previous trip outside. I joined him at the ledge, leaning against the railing and looking out into the parking lot. A few houses were aglow in flashing rainbow lights and produced the muffled sound of a pounding bass. I couldn't help but remember how my freshman year group and I would always scour the apartment complexes for any sign of a party. My heart began to drop at the loss, and I relished in memories as that was the only thing which remained. I tried to focus on Michael instead of bittersweet nostalgia, taking in the way his soft hair blew slightly and the smoke that escaped his lips into the night air.