Sari-saring Salita

Not So Ethereal [2]

tw: mentions of death

"It seems that his medications and treatments are working naman, hija." Dra. Medil said nung nakabalik na sila. May mga reminders ding sinabi sakin si Doktora kaya sinigurado kong maalala ko ito para masabi kina Tita Mei.

"Oh siya, magbonding na ulit kayong dalawa at kami'y magro-rounds pa," Nagpaalam na si Dra. Medil at ang nurse niya. Kami na namang dalawa ang naiwan dito.

"Babe kapag nakalimutan kita please lagi mong ipaalala saking mahal mo ako. Makikinig ako sayo kaya wag kang mag-alala," Bigla niyang sabi. Natahimik ako, hindi ko alam ang sasabihin ko pabalik.

Parang hindi ko yata kakayanin kapag talagang nakalimutan niya na ako. Pero alam kong mas lalong mahirap sakanya dahil araw-araw din siyang nabubuhay sa sakit niya. Losing bits of his memories are part of this.

"Kahit pa araw-araw mong sabihin sa'kin. Kapag pinalayo kita sana wag kang umalis kasi alam ko sa puso kong nandito ka pa rin naman, hindi ka lang makikilala ng utak ko," Tears started falling down so I acted like I'm cleaning his things. Hindi ko kayang gawin sakanya 'yon at alam niya iyon.

"Tangina, Rowen stop it." I said as I wipe my tears away. Ayoko nito, Rowen. Hindi ko pa kaya.

"Sorry, babe." Sagot niya. I turned to him and cupped his face while giving him a small smile as my tears ran dry.

"Nood na tayo?" He asked softly. I nodded.

We watched his favorite movie because he said he wanted to watch it with me for hundreds of time. Wala akong pake kung paulit-ulit. Ang importante ay nasa tabi ko siya ngayon.

Wala kaming ginawa kundi ang magtawanan at magside comment lang sa mga movie. We began to realize how the movies has many flaws and he point out each one of them. It's like he knew every line and panel that will show up. Kaya niya nga ata 'tong panoorin ng nakapikit.

That is when I realized why he loves this movie so much. The song in this movie is With A Smile by Eraserheads. Our song. I didn't noticed that we both dozed off while the movie started it's soft back tracks. The last lyrics before my eyes reach its limit is our favorite part.

'Cause in a world where everybody hates a happy ending story
It's a wonder love can make the world go round

Nakahiga na pala ako sa hospital bed niya. At wala siya sa tabi ko?

"Hija," Tita Mei called. She looked at me as if I'm a fragile human being.

"Tita, si Rowen po?" I asked him. Then I remove the blanket that was covering me. My body stiffened with what I saw. I'm wearing a black dress. My favorite black dress. I roamed around the room at nakita ko sa gilid ang isang maleta na may lamang mga damit namin ni Rowen.

"Tita, lilipat na naman po ba ng room?" Tita Mei didn't answer. Yinakap niya lang ako at umiyak.

I felt coldness throughout my body. This is just a dream, right?

Hindi pwede. Hindi 'to totoo. Kakasabi lang ni Dra. Medil kanina na nagana ang medications at treatment ni Rowen.

"Anak, wala na siya."

Pinilit kong kumawala sa yakap ni Tita Mei. I wanted to shout at her. Hindi naman totoo ang sinasabi niya! Magkasama lang kami kanina, pinanood pa nga namin 'yong favorite movie niya!

"This has to be a joke! He likes joking around," Sigaw ko. Tita Mei didn't let go of me. Mas lalo lang lumakas ang iyak niya.

Mas lalo akong nagwala at sumigaw.

"Hindi! Tita Mei kakapanood lang namin ng movie kanina! Magkatabi pa kami sa higaan!" Hindi pa rin ako binibitawan ni Tita Mei. Kahit anong galaw ko hindi ako makawala sa yakap ni Tita. I refused to believe the news.