Safari To The Center Of The Earth

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Euphemia Blunderbuss sat at the bar of the Unpainted Dog, a seedy little rat-hole in the dark, miasma-choked lower levels of the South Pitts district of Thule. She had been nursing down a caustic, watered-down grog for the better part of two hours.


Euphemia had been the leader, and was now the only survivor, of an ill-fated exploratory expedition to the lands beyond the north winds in the northernmost tip of Hyzephria. Euphemia returned from the expedition alone, and clearly insane.


Now, for the price of a mug of grog, she told stories of the monsters in the north. All blasphemous nonsense, as any priestess will tell you: all the monsters are dead, and there are no gods but the King in Hell. There were even rumors that she was the one who killed the other members of her expedition and made of the monster story as a way to deflect blame.


Euphemia savored another sip of her drink, and tried her hardest to forget where she was and who she was. It wasn't going as well as she had hoped.


A dark clad stranger entered the Unpainted Dog, the fifth that day. Many of the unemployed venturers looked up expectantly. When he walked over to Euphemia their hopeful looks turned to dejection.


"Euphemia Blunderbuss?" the man asked.


"You've found her," said Euphemia "What do you want?"


"I represent a wealthy patron who, for the moment, would like to remain nameless."


"Fine," said Euphemia "What do they want?"


"The man I represent is interested in mounting an expedition to the land beyond the north winds."


Now he had her attention.


"He is interested in proving once and for all the existence of your monsters. For obvious reasons he would like you to be a part of the expedition."


"Why would anyone want to do that?" asked Euphemia.


* * *


Xalvador Tenebrio was not going down without a fight. Was it not he who gave the order to fire the cannon shot that killed the legendary Manticore of Ys? Had he not bravely sacrificed dozens of ships and thousands of men to bring down the infamous White Kraken of the Thulian Sea? And now here this newcomer, this greenhorn, slays one stupid dragon and suddenly she's the best hunter in the Noble Society of Hunters of Strange Beasts and Phantasmagoria? This was an intolerable outrage.


Xalvador was going to show Deira Langschwert, and that empty-headed drone of a husband of hers too. He was going to mount an expedition so ostentatiously daring that it would be more impressive than a whole genocide of dragons. He would show this poseur what real hunters of strange beasts and phantasmagoria looked like and then dedicate the rest of his life to rubbing her nose in it.


His retainer informed him that he had found just such an expedition. He would travel the lands beyond the north winds, the northernmost peak of the world, prove the existence of the monsters living there, and then shoot them.

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