Tum Se Hi

♤

As she woke up, she was in his bed. His scent reached her nostrils and she took it in. She wanted to stay here, just a little more. She noticed he was gone. Again.

Murtasim would stay out mostly since the day they got married. He'd usually come back after midnight and be out again barely after dawn. She really didn't care but she was curious.. what was he doing? The village duties couldn't be this many, he definitely had a side buissness.

Kidnapping girls?? Nai nai.. aesa nai hoskta. Ho bhi sakta hai waise. What if he was some wizard, doing kaala jadu or some super secret spy?? or.. or terrorist... AHH!! Just a jerk with whom she's stuck with.

Meerub shook her thoughts away and went back to sleep.
****
Murtasim opened the wooden door to the small shabby looking office and entered. Ashar was sitting behind the desk, flipping through some magazine. He looked up, then smiled softly at him.
"Kaise ho murtasim?"
"Theek.. kuch pata chala?"

He had been looking into his mother's death. Just before dying, his father had pulled him closer to him and had whispered in his ear, "use mara tha, she was killed-" and before he could finish the grim reaper took away his soul.

Murtasim, since then, was waiting for the right time. He knew that whatever he did, and wherever he went, maa begum's people followed him. More like her spies, they'd tell her everything later on and he couldn't risk her interference in this matter atleast, as it was so close to his heart. He needed a distraction for her, enough so he could complete this task. He was torn apart from the inside and his heart required peace.

Meerub was a distraction. He had never been interested in women, none, never. It was just him and his dark heart all alone against the world but when maa begum talked about his marriage, he agreed after thinking for a while. He couldn't care less about the his soon to be wife, which he was sure was haya, some maa begum's farther relative who would flirt with him whenever she'd see his face. He never liked her. She was nothing but a pretty face. Atleast he knew how to handle her.

But when maa begum talked about some old engagement with this new person meerub.. he was wierded out. He wasn't sure and didn't want to do it. Haya was someone he knew how to deal with, but this new girl, meerub, would just be a hinderence. She'd make it harder and he didn't know what she was like.

He met her for the first time at her home. While sitting on a sofa, he noticed her peeking inside the drawing room, and she just.. made him angry. This annoyed, messed up, deranged feeling wasn't the newest to him, and yet he felt astonished. Murtasim himself couldn't decipher why he felt like that when he was around her.

He planned on saying no to maa begum, a hard task for him but he had to do it. But on that day, when he went to meerub's room, and talked to her, more like argued with her, a lava burst inside of him and he decided to marry meerub.

And something he could never tell anyone, not her, not even himself, was that he found her attractive. And that he was getting kind of, just a little bit, used to seeing her in his room.
****
"Baitho muratsim, kuch to share karo."
"Kya?? Apni marital life?"
"Hmmh, achi tarah janta hoon kitni achi hai tumhari marital life, kul mila ke 22 ghnte ke liye to bhabi ki shakal dekhi hogi tumne." Ashar said in a sarcastic tone. He was against him using marriage as a distraction for maa begum and specially with meerub, who according to him had ambitions. He dug into her background all the way back.
From where they got to know that she was actually the adopted daughter of her parents, which made her his cousin being the daughter of anwar, his uncle. He was out of the country and murtasim met him a long time ago.

"So... tum unhe kab bataoge ke tum is shadi ke bare mai serious nahi ho?"
"Jab uska kaam khatam hojaega. Or wo tab hoga jab mera kaam khatam hoga. jaldi jaldi."
"Hum kuch krlenge. Kr hi lenge." Ashar said to him affirmingly.
"Mughe apne abba ki akhri khwahish poori krni hai ashar, apni ammi ko insaf dilana hai." Murtasim said in a tired tone. He had lit a ciggarette amidst the dialogue.
Ashar rolled his eyes. "BAS KARO. Abhi tum itne boorhe nahi hoe ho. Mat khatam karo khudko ye pee kr."
Murtasim smiled at him.

Ashar was his only real friend. He met him
a little after his father's death. Ashar was the son of an ordinary farmer, yet he wad a man of gold. Honest and courageous. The only person murtasim felt something for, a sense of belonging. He trusted ashar. Only ashar made him FEEL, for a very long time, but he wasn't the only person now. There was someone else, who made him feel things he couldn't, didn't want to, understand.
****
Meerub sat up straight. Staring at the wall. She was doing this for past two hours. Random panic attacks would hit her and then she'd feel numb. This happened today too.

Muratsim entered the room to her sitting there like a statue. He went to freshen up, ignoring her.

Murtasim came out of the bathroom drying his hair with a towel. He just took a shower but forgot to bring his clothes. He was losing it.. he thought.

As he opened the wardrobe, he saw meerub sitting in the exact same position as before, like a statue. His brows furrowed.
"Meerub.." he called out.
"MEERUB!!" He half screamed when meerub jolted, as if waking up from a dream. She looked back at him.

"Kya badtameezi thi ye?"
"Tum kya krahi thi?"
"Nahi mai sans bhi tumhe bata ke loon ab? Lekin han, wo to tum cheen bh sakte ho, bare sahab jo ho yahan ke, har cheez apne hisab se karne ki adat hai tumhe."
She got up from the sofa and looked around for her dupatta. Unable to find it, she walked towards the bathroom instead.

Meerub realized she had to pass murtasim in order to get to the bathroom, and then she realized, that he was shirtless. His toned six packs were staring back at her with so much intensity she had to blink.
Murtasim looked at her astounded, as she stared at his naked body.
Then she looked at his face, flushed, she almost ran towards the bathroom.

The second she reached him, with a steel grip he wrapped his arm around her waist and turned her around to face him, pushing her to the wardrobe door.

Meerub gulped as her hands, involuntarily rested on his perfect chest, that heaved up and down with anticipation. She was so close to him she momentarily heard his heart beat.

Murtasim, on the other hand, was awestruck. She looked stunnung from this close. He realized her eyes and lips were swollen, again.. she'd been crying. He felt bad. Something in his heart spoke, to push her away, and it hurt him. He didn't even know why, but something stopped him from even pitying that girl.

Meerub exhaled. Tracing down his toned chest muscles with a finger, she wrapped an arm around his neck and pulled him towards her. Then she moved her lips closer to his ear and whispered so slowly like a rustling leaf.
"Tum tarpo ge mughe pane ke liye khan murtasim khan, ro ge, wawela karoge, pr mughe kabhi nahi jeet paoge. "
Then she pushed him away with a stoned look and disappeared behind the bathroom door. While he stood there, one hand still on the wardrobe, confused, flushed, and in an argument with himself. What did he want? At this point he himslef was confused. And what did SHE want?

"No, i am not. Mai confused nahi hoon. Wo larki maa begum ke liye distraction hai, maire liye nahi, mughe bas apni ammi ki sachai dhoondni hai, that's it." Reassuring himself, he grabbed a t-shirt pulling it over his head, and went staright to bed.