"Follow your intuition"
Chay leaves the country after the heartbreak Kim put him through, but a couple of months later he gets a call from Kinn, telling him that Kim went on a suicide mission and no one has been able to contact him for a couple of d...
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"I love you."
Kim let those words roll on his tongue, saying them loudly and proudly, looking deep into Chay's eyes. "I love you... that's what saved my life, Porchay. The fact that I love you, saved me."
"Then why?" The words of 'I love you' from Kim pierce right through Chay's heart. "Why did it take you so long to say it?" Chay asks. He isn't mad or sad anymore. Nor is he trying to blame Kim for taking such a long time to let him hear those three words he wished to hear for such a long time. All Chay is asking for is an explanation. Something that will help him to understand Kim. Something that would help both of them to see that the page isn't actually blank. It's all just written in white ink, invisible to those who don't try hard enough to see it.
"Because I'm a coward. An asshole. An idiot who tried his best to protect you but end up hurting both of us instead," Kim chuckles, his face shrouded in regret and blame; blame for himself. "I guess this would be the easy answer. The easy way out, but the truth is that love... love scares me, Chay. I don't understand it. I don't get how it can be beneficial to someone. I lived so long without it that I don't even think that I need it... at least I thought so, but then you showed up in my life and..." Kim's voice breaks. For a second he doesn't realize who he hears crying and then it hits him — he is the one crying. The one trying to speak through his tears and throat that feels like it's suffocating. "I'm sorry. I love you and I want to keep loving you. I just... I'm kinda new to this and I really have no idea how to not fuck up again."
"You won't, p'Kim. You won't fuck up again. I know you won't," Chay says carefully, holding Kim's shaking body close to him. Kim is trying; that's already more than what Chay got from him a couple of months ago. That's already enough for now.
Chay looks at Kim's face morphed into a grotesque grimace of pain. It must be the leg, Chay thinks before saying, "let's sit, okay? Your leg must hurt."
"It's fine," Kim shakes his head despite the feeling of a throbbing pain in his thigh that is pretty fast spreading all over his body. The wound is nowhere near being healed yet. He did what he could; cleaned the wound and sutured it after that. But he is a no doctor and the wound is pretty deep. But at least it doesn't feel as bad as before.
Chay bites his bottom lip and takes in, once again, the painful expression on Kim's face. He lets out a sigh, "p'Kim, you are not fine." Chay starts to walk around the house with Kim still pressed close to him, trying to find a place to sit comfortably on. "And I would really appreciate it if you stopped hiding your feelings from me."
Chay can feel Kim's body tensing, Kim's hands gripping Chay's clothes a little tighter than before, "Chay... I—"
"I don't mean just whether you love me... I mean everything." Chay's eyes drop lower, looking right at Kim's thigh, clothed in black jeans. There is a hole in them and underneath Chay can clearly see white, probably bandages. "Your leg clearly hurts like hell. Is it that hard to admit it... in front of me? You don't have to play a game with me anymore. That's not what I'm here for. I'm here because I was so fucking terrified that the man I love was dead and I couldn't believe it. I couldn't just accept it and move on. So I came looking for you, swearing to myself that if I find you alive I'll never let you go. Because I love you. Because I want the real you. Because I know the real you. So, I'm asking again, p'Kim... does your leg hurt?"
