Step Out And Shine(On Hold)

Step Out And Shine:Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Jessica

I lay curled up against my little sister as Austin holds the two of us in his arms reading The Beauty And The Beast, Rose's favorite story she insists we read every time we see her.  We always joke that we could read that story verbatim in our sleep.  What's scary is that we probably could.  I look up at Austin as he brings the story to life, and I wonder if this is what it would be like with Rose when we finally got settled down.  But instead of a hospital we would be in our own house and Rose wouldn't be in a place like this.  I shake my head, I'm jumping way ahead of myself, first off we need to get out of this town and settled.  I wonder if we could move to California.  Jeez why can't I live for today.  We need to survive before we think of a permanet place to live.  Austin looks down at me as my sister's breathing levels off and she snuggles into me.  Austin cups my face brushing my bangs out of my face, and I feel myself start to get lost in his eyes.  His lips meet mine in a soft but urgent kiss,  I grip him closer trying not to move too much or be too loud so that I don't wake up Rose or any of the other kids.  

"Jessica, can I speak with you?"Doctor Jacks asks and I turn my head towards her nodding, untangling myself from Austin I  follow her to her office.  

"I know you want to move Rose, but I think it's best if we finish her chemo treatment which is up in six months and that gives you enough time to get settled in, and we won't tell your parents, as soon as you turn eighteen you could adopt her you know."Doctor Jacks says and I nod waiting for her to continue, as I stare at my hands.  That's a long time away from my little Rosebud.   

"I think it would be really good for the both of you, these are going to be her last months if the tumour continues to shrink with the chemo like we think it will."Doctor Jacks adds trying to convince me but I had already made up my mind.  I was going to let my Rosebud stay and get better, I don't know about adopting her just, I wonder if Austin would adopt her with me.  

'Woah don't you you're getting ahead of yourself, you don't even know the definition of your relationship yet.' the little voice in the back of my head reprimands, and I sigh knowing it's true.  I wish it wasn't but it is.  I mean why would any guy want to be stuck with a kid who isn't even his, but his best-friend's little sister.  But then again Austin isn't just any guy.  Ugh I do not want to think about this anymore.  Doctor Jacks looked rigid with worry as she watched me warily, knowing my silence usually meant a storm was brewing.  She looked relieved and shocked when I said.

"I agree."And then I left her office blocking the tears that threatened to spill over.  Rosebud was almost asleep so I kissed her forehead.  

"I love you my little Rosebud."

"I love you too mommy."Her little voice croaked as she fell into a deep unconscious sleep.  She hasn't called me that in forever.  That one word had tears overflowing, the ones I had kept in barely restraining them with my eyelids bursted like a flood down my cheeks.  I was so angry at my mother, how could she do this to me and to Rosebud, it was bad enough my father was an abusive drunk but what about her.  I had to grow up at fifteen to basically raise my little sister.  I never had anyone to go to for advice,  I always felt awkward asking Austin's mom and I never could now knowing how they really feel about me.  I feel Austin's arms encircling my waist holding my tightly hands stroking my waist as he let me cry on his chest.  

"Come on, let's go."Austin says grabbing my hand leading me out of the hospital and into the cool Tallahasse summer air.  School had just let out a few weeks ago but this is Flordia and it's hot and humid 99% of the year.  Even this far north.  Yep it's a curse and a blessing.  We climb into his truck and start to drive getting on I 10 as we drive through the night the stars brightly shinning like I'd never seen before, I guess it's the lack of streetlights and the woods.  But wow.  It's so beautiful.