The Day You Saved Me

1.

The night was starting to get ice cold, your fingertips numb and the tip of your nose red and cold. Staring into the abyss was familiar to you, ever since that night, everything became dark and disconnected. It was past midnight, almost time, you thought while standing in front of the railing of the Han River, flashing lights in the background and traffic sounds were going to be just a memory now.

"Hey" you heard a voice mixed with the muffled sounds of the city and the haze of your mind. You couldn't turn back, not right now. This was the night the torturous memories and voices would go away, you with them. You kept your head straight, not looking back, your hands raising to grab the railing.

"Hey, are you okay?" the male voice said again. Damn it, this couldn't be happening right now, everything was planned for and this stranger could not ruin it. Turning your back to face him, you plastered a fake smile on your face. "Yeah, I'm fine.... Just appreciating the starts. Thank you."

"Well, it's not like there's a lot of stars to see, it's pretty cloudy..." he giggles a little bit "It's probably going to rain." Anxiety creeping up on you, as you suspect he was aware of your intentions, worry and pity on his face.

You stared at him for a second, he was a young guy, maybe your age, buff body, but nothing exaggerated, full lips and beautiful eyes. His hands were in his jacket pockets and he was wearing a beanie, protecting him from the cold Seoul night.

"Mhmm, well, I was hoping it would clear up in a bit." trying to keep a cool and kind facade. You were all too familiar with pretending everything was fine. You did it all the time, with your coworkers, your neighbors, your therapist, your parents, and friends.

It's all gonna be over as soon as he leaves. It's fine. You took a few deep breaths, looking at your hands, fidgeting with your sweater's sleeve, your head low. "Look I don't mean to intrude, but I just wanna make sure you're okay. You don't seem so good, and it's not safe to be here so late. My name is Chris."

Well damn you, Chris. Why was he here all of a sudden? And worrying about you? Nobody ever worried about you, why would he? The lump in your throat started growing, and your hands now sweating and shaking. Shit, your body had ways of betraying you. This always happens, your emotions are all over the place and you can't control your eyes from watering.

"I just need you to leave," you say in a thin voice "I'm fine, it's all gonna be fine soon, I just need to be alone." You look him in the eye for a second and take your eyes off of him again, turning around and grabbing the railing again, your chuckles turning white from the force, the cold feeling of the metal grounding you.

"It's so cold, you're shaking! We can go grab a coffee and talk for a bit... or not talk, if you don't want to, sorry, just..." he starts stuttering and takes a step towards you, "Just don't do it".

"L-leave!" your voice shakes again and your anger grows. Why can't anything just work out for you, even your pathetic attempt at dying is a failure. You don't turn to face him, but you know he is getting closer, you can hear his steps as he walks. You hunch your body over the rail, bending down. "If you come any closer, I'm gonna jump. Just go, leave me alone!" you screamed at him.

"You're gonna do it either way" his reflexes are faster than yours. Just as you boost your body forward, his hands fall to your waist, grabbing you tightly and pulling you as far away as possible from the railing, preventing you from jumping.

You both fall to the floor with a loud thud, the side of his body taking almost all of the impact, your wrist being caught up between his body and the floor, twisting in a hurtful way. But you don't feel the pain, your body full of adrenaline, your face stained with silent tears and your body shaking both from the cold of the night and the realization of what just happened.

Chris starts to sit up a little bit, hugging you from behind, his breath on the side of your face and neck. "Shh, I got you, it's okay," he says. And then the veil drops, and you start crying, really crying, letting out painful sobs and whimpers. Finally letting it all out, in the arms of a stranger who just saved your life.

He just stays there for a while, hugging you, trying to keep all your pieces together, he starts moving his arms up and down yours, trying to keep you warm, and rocking you back and forth softly. "It's fine, I'm here for you. Deep breaths, okay?" His voice is almost a whisper like he is trying not to startle you or scare you off.

"I'll help you up, okay?" you hesitate for a second and then nod. You don't know if you're ready to get up yet, but he gets up and holds you by your elbows to help you and steady you as you stand in front of him with tears still falling from your eyes.

"You hurt your wrist, I need to take you to the hospital to get it check out." Panic starts to raise in your chest and you take a step back. You can't go to the hospital, he is gonna tell the doctors about your suicide attempt, you're gonna get committed and then everything will be worst. What if they call your husband? The thought alone makes your stomach turn.

"No, no, no..." You inhale deeply "I can't go to the hospital, you can't make me." You take another step back and hold your hands out in front of you, in a desperate gesture, trying to put some distance between you two. "I'm fine, I won't try it again, I promise..." you dry out your tears with the sleeve of your sweater and fix your clothes, trying to prove your point.

Sensing your anxiety and fear, he says "I won't tell them anything about this, I swear. I just want to make sure your wrist is okay, I fell over it." You start feeling the throbbing pain as soon as the words leave his mouth. You take your sleeve up and look down at your arm, you can see the scratches now, from the asphalt and the light green bruise, that's gonna turn purple in a couple of hours.

"I don't know... How can I trust you?" You say staring into his eyes, "I just met you... and I don't wanna get in trouble, it'll just make it worst." You try hugging yourself, breathing still elaborated, your heart racing and your hands shaking.

He holds out his hand for you to take, you look at him hesitantly and he offers you a soft smile, after a few seconds, take his hand. He takes a step closer to you and raises his hand to move the hair out of your face. The movement is so sudden that it makes you flinch, pulling your free and bruised hand close to your face as protection, closing your eyes waiting for a hit.

Chris notices right away what he has done "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you." His voice is still soft and gentle. He slides his hand down your arm delicately. "I'm not gonna hurt you". The sight of you so scared and fragile breaks his heart.

He hadn't planned his night like this. After a tiring day in the studio, recording a new track over and over again with the rest of the members, Chris just wanted to have a quiet night, go grab something to eat, maybe watch a shitty movie and then try to combat his insomnia. He didn't plan to find a lonely girl having a breakdown and trying to end her life on a dark path near the Han River. He didn't mean to intrude on your plans, but when he saw your body shaking and your eyes fixed on the ice-cold water, he couldn't just leave.

He had known that feeling all too well during his trainee years. So now he couldn't just leave you to your fate, his need to take you to a safe place was bigger than anything else in the world right now. He's still holding your hand, taking a step closer to you, he says softly "I'm sorry, I promise I won't tell the doctors anything about this. I just want you to get it checked." He looks for your eyes again, and when you meet his gaze, he offers a sweet smile.

"Why are you doing this? Why do you want to help me?" You say almost in a whisper, a fresh set of tears pricking at your eyes. You are starting to feel tired and bruised, all the adrenaline is wearing off now, and you just want to stop the feeling of emptiness. "Because I know how you're feeling, I've been there a few times." You stare at him for a few moments, trying to think of what to say.

"But why do you care? You don't even know why I was gonna..." he lets go of your hand and moves to grab your bag and a few other things that fell to the floor from the impact. Once he is done and has all your things in his hands, he meets your eyes and says "Because I had someone who saved me, and if it wouldn't have been for them, I would've never met this beautiful stranger today. Now let's go, it's freaking cold." He grabs your hand again smiling and pulls you gently, to start walking across the path, heading toward the hospital.